Life has a way of throwing curveballs our way, testing our resilience and strength. At times, it can leave us feeling broken and lost. Yet, within the depths of our struggles lies the potential for transformation and growth. In this article, we will explore the characteristics of a broken person and shed light on the journey towards healing and redemption.
Have you ever known someone who seemed perpetually unhappy or unstable? The person who always sees the glass half empty, expects the worst, and struggles to maintain healthy relationships? Chances are, you’ve crossed paths with a broken soul.
Broken people have endured life experiences that have shattered their sense of safety, self-worth, and ability to trust. Their wounds run deep and have fundamentally impacted their outlook and behaviors. Though challenging to be around at times, broken people deserve compassion. By understanding their tendencies and learning strategies to support them, you can make a meaningful difference in their lives while also protecting your own emotional well-being.
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What Does It Mean to Be a Broken Person?
A broken person typically lacks a sense of self-worth and struggles with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. They have faced emotional wounds, trauma, or abuse that have ‘broken’ their spirit in some way.
Broken people often feel unloved and worthless. They may isolate themselves from others or become people-pleasers to fill a void. They frequently doubt themselves and have trouble trusting people. Some broken individuals adopt a victim mentality, blaming outside circumstances for their problems instead of taking responsibility.
The deep pain broken people carry also makes them prone to addictions and unhealthy relationships. They tend to be drawn to anything that will temporarily mask or soothe their inner anguish. Brokenness can manifest itself in anger issues, anxiety, depression, or other mental health struggles as well.
However, brokenness does not have to be a permanent state. With support, counseling, and a willingness to face the root causes of their pain, broken people can heal and learn to value themselves. It is a difficult journey, but by learning self-care, setting boundaries, and embracing self-compassion, even the most broken person can find wholeness. The first step is simply accepting that they are not alone and that help is out there.
Characteristics of a Broken Person
A broken person typically exhibits certain characteristics that reflect the emotional damage they’ve endured.
1. Low self-esteem
Years of mistreatment, rejection, and failure have shattered their self-worth. They frequently doubt themselves, their abilities, and the worthiness of love. Offering genuine compliments, encouragement, and affirmation can help build them back up.
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2. Sensitivity to Rejection
Due to their past pain, broken people have an intense fear of rejection and abandonment. Seemingly small slights or criticisms can trigger old wounds and cause an emotional overreaction. Be very gentle in how you communicate with them. Reassure them of your loyalty and support.
3. Difficulty Setting Boundaries
Broken people often have a poor sense of self, which makes it hard to know what they need or want. They may tolerate abusive behavior just to please others. Help them learn to identify their needs, wants, and limits so they can start establishing healthier boundaries.
4. Emotional Turmoil:
One of the key characteristics of a broken person is the presence of emotional turmoil. They may experience deep sorrow, anger, or fear, often finding it challenging to navigate through their emotions. These unresolved feelings can manifest in destructive behaviors or a general sense of hopelessness. Recognizing and acknowledging these emotions is the first step towards healing.
5. Isolation and withdrawal:
A broken person often retreats into a self-imposed exile, isolating themselves from others. They may struggle with trust issues, feel unworthy of connections, or fear further disappointment. This withdrawal can intensify feelings of loneliness, leading to a cycle of despair. Breaking this pattern involves reaching out for support and building a support system of understanding and empathetic individuals.
6. Loss of Identity:
When life knocks us down repeatedly, it can shatter our sense of self. A broken person might feel lost, disconnected from their core values, and unsure of their purpose. Rebuilding a sense of identity involves self-reflection, discovering personal strengths and values, and setting new goals aligned with their renewed vision. It’s often an opportunity for self-discovery and reinvention.
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7. Self-Destructive Behavior:
As a coping mechanism, the broken person might engage in self-destructive behaviors. This can range from substance abuse and excessive drinking consumption to engaging in harmful relationships. These behaviors often temporarily mask the pain but hinder genuine healing. Recognizing the impact of these destructive patterns and seeking healthier alternatives is crucial on the path to recovery.
8. Lack of Trust:
Brokenness erodes trust, making it difficult for the individual to trust others, themselves, or even the process of healing. This distrust can stem from past traumas or repeated disappointments. Building trust involves cultivating self-compassion, seeking professional help if needed, and surrounding oneself with supportive and trustworthy individuals who can help nurture a sense of security.
9. Chronic Self-Doubt:
A broken person often struggles with low self-esteem and chronic self-doubt. They may constantly question their worth, abilities, and decisions, undermining their confidence in themselves. Overcoming this characteristic involves cultivating self-compassion, practicing positive affirmations, and seeking validation from within rather than solely relying on external sources.
10. Guilt and Shame:
Guilt and shame are common emotions experienced by a broken person. They may carry a heavy burden of past mistakes, regrets, or unresolved traumas. These feelings can lead to self-blame and a sense of unworthiness. To heal, it is crucial to release self-judgment and practice forgiveness, both towards oneself and others involved.
11. Loss of Hope:
A broken person often finds themselves caught in a cycle of despair, losing hope in the possibility of a better future. The weight of their experiences may overshadow their ability to see beyond the present pain. Building hope requires cultivating a positive mindset, seeking inspiration from others who have overcome similar challenges, and setting realistic goals for the future.
12. Inability to Set Boundaries:
Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships and self-care. A broken person may struggle with establishing and enforcing boundaries, often fearing rejection or conflict. This can lead to a cycle of codependency or being taken advantage of. Learning to set and maintain boundaries involves recognizing personal needs and values, communicating assertively, and surrounding oneself with individuals who respect those boundaries.
13. Resistance to Change:
Change can be intimidating for a broken person, as it disrupts the familiar, even if it is detrimental. They may resist change, clinging to unhealthy patterns or toxic environments out of fear of the unknown. Embracing change requires embracing uncertainty and being open to new possibilities. It often involves seeking professional help, engaging in personal development activities, and stepping outside of comfort zones.
Understanding the characteristics of a broken person is crucial for moving towards healing and redemption. It goes hand in hand with acknowledging the depth of pain and struggles and working diligently to rebuild a stronger, more resilient self. Everyone’s healing journey is unique, but with compassion, support, and a commitment to self-growth, the broken person can emerge from their trials and forge a path of healing, wholeness, and fulfillment.
Embrace the potential for growth, and with time, patience, and resilience, the broken person can rise from the ashes stronger and wiser than before.
Common causes of brokenness
Common causes of brokenness in people often stem from traumatic life events and unhealthy relationships.
Difficult childhood
Children who endure neglect, abuse, or unstable home environments are at high risk of becoming broken adults. Without a nurturing support system and positive role models, children fail to develop a healthy sense of self-worth and the ability to form meaningful connections with others.
Traumatic experiences
Surviving a traumatic event like violence, severe illness or injury, a natural disaster, or the loss of a loved one can shatter a person’s sense of safety and trust in the world. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and unresolved grief are common in those with a wounded soul.
Toxic relationships
Repeatedly being subjected to manipulation, betrayal, criticism, or control by those closest to you leads to feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and despair. Escaping a toxic relationship does not instantly heal the scars of emotional damage and shattered self-esteem.
The causes of brokenness are complex and varied. A wounded soul often results from a combination of harmful factors that chip away at someone over the course of a lifetime. The good news is that, with compassion, counseling, and conscious effort, even the most broken of souls can find healing.
Signs Someone Is Emotionally Damaged
Someone who is emotionally damaged typically exhibits certain characteristics that signal their inner turmoil.
1. Difficulty Trusting Others
They have a hard time opening up or relying on people due to past hurts and betrayals. Their guard is always up because they fear being taken advantage of or hurt again. They may come across as aloof or cynical in relationships.
2. Poor Self-Esteem
Years of trauma, abuse, or neglect have eroded their sense of self-worth. They doubt their own abilities and value. They may engage in negative self-talk, constantly criticizing and blaming themselves.
3. Anger Issues
Unresolved emotional pain often manifests as anger, irritability, or even rage. They have trouble controlling their temper and frequently lash out at others. Their anger is usually a cover-up for deeper feelings of sadness or hurt.
4. Addiction Problems
To numb their emotional anguish, some turn to drink, food, shopping, gambling, or other addictive behaviors to escape their pain and fill their inner emptiness. These unhealthy coping mechanisms only provide temporary relief and end up causing more damage.
5. Difficulty Setting Boundaries
They may let others take advantage of them or fail to stand up for themselves due to a fear of conflict or a desire for approval. They have trouble saying no and end up overwhelmed by demands on their time and energy. Lack of self-care is common.
6. Anxiety and Depression
Feelings of inner turmoil, damaged self-esteem, and an inability to build close relationships often manifest as symptoms of anxiety, panic, and depression. Professional counseling or therapy is usually required to begin the healing process.
With compassion and support, emotionally damaged individuals can learn to rebuild their self-worth, develop healthier relationships, set boundaries, and find freedom from their painful pasts. But the first step is acknowledging the signs that emotional healing is needed.
Why Broken People Build Walls
Broken people build walls around themselves for protection from further hurt and betrayal. Their painful experiences have taught them that vulnerability only leads to more pain, so they close themselves off emotionally.
They struggle to trust.
Due to repeated abandonment, neglect, or abuse, broken people find it very difficult to trust others. They are always waiting for the other shoe to drop—for that person to hurt, betray, or leave them like everyone else. Until trust is rebuilt, walls will remain firmly in place.
They feel unworthy of love.
Years of harsh criticism, unreasonable expectations, and a lack of affection have left broken people with little sense of self-worth. They don’t believe they deserve to be truly loved and accepted for who they are. This makes them hesitant to let others in for fear of rejection.
They fear intimacy.
Deep relationships require a level of intimacy and vulnerability that frightens the broken person. Rather than risk opening up their heart again only to have it shattered, they prefer to isolate themselves behind their protective walls. Superficial relationships are safer, even if loneliness is the cost.
The hurt and scars of the broken run deep.
Their walls have been built one brick at a time, cemented in place by pain, fear, and betrayal. Tearing down those walls and rebuilding trust is a long process that requires patience, compassion, and commitment to proving that this time will be different. Behind those walls hides a wounded soul longing to love and be loved in return.
The Danger of Ignoring Your Brokenness
The danger of ignoring your brokenness is that it will continue to negatively impact your life and relationships.
Unhealed Pain.
When a person experiences emotional, physical, or mental wounds, it causes deep pain that penetrates the soul. If left unacknowledged and untreated, this anguish festers and spreads like an infection, influencing thoughts, behaviors, and interactions. The broken person may not even realize the level of suffering and brokenness within, denying its existence altogether.
Pushing down pain and pretending everything is fine is only a temporary solution. It will inevitably surface in other ways, such as through angry outbursts, isolation, addictions, or unhealthy relationships. The broken person lives in a state of unrest and inner turmoil, though they may appear composed on the outside.
Damaged View of Self and Others
A broken person often has a distorted view of themselves and those around them. They may see themselves as unworthy, unlovable, or not good enough due to past experiences. This can drive behaviors like people-pleasing, perfectionism, or avoiding intimacy. Their view of others may also be skewed by past hurts, causing them to be overly suspicious, jealous, or clingy in relationships.
The path to healing begins with acknowledging your brokenness. Recognizing unhealed pain from the past and how it impacts your present is the first step. Addressing brokenness requires courage and commitment to a journey of self-discovery and restoration. While painful, it is the only way to build healthy relationships, find inner peace, and reach your full potential. The wounded soul longs to be made whole.
The Effects of Brokenness
A broken person often struggles with the effects of their past hurts and trauma. Brokenness can manifest itself in many ways. A broken person may have trouble trusting others or forming close relationships. They may isolate themselves to avoid getting hurt again. They may act out in anger or engage in self-destructive behaviors as a way to numb their emotional pain.
Some common characteristics of a broken person include:
- Low self-esteem. A broken person may feel unloved and worthless, doubting their own value and abilities.
- People-pleasing tendencies. Broken people may go out of their way to please others in order to feel loved and accepted.
- Difficulty setting boundaries. Broken individuals may have trouble saying no and standing up for themselves. They let others take advantage of them.
- Trouble managing emotions. A broken person may struggle with emotional regulation, experiencing frequent mood swings, anxiety, and depression.
- Feelings of guilt and shame. Deep feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness are common in broken people.
The effects of brokenness can be far-reaching, but with patience and compassion, a broken soul can be mended. Surrounding themselves with a strong support system,
Learning coping strategies and working to build self-confidence and self-worth are all steps towards healing and wholeness. While the scars may remain, a broken person can find hope and purpose again.
Healing and Restoring the Broken
Healing the broken soul requires patience, compassion, and unconditional love. Broken people have been deeply hurt, often in childhood or in traumatic life events. Their sense of self has been shattered, and they struggle with feelings of worthlessness and distrust in themselves and others.
To help a broken person heal:
- Provide a safe space for them to open up at their own pace. Pushing for details before they are ready can further damage their fragile state.
- Listen without judgment. Broken people need to feel heard and accepted as they are. Offer empathy, not sympathy.
- Help build their self-esteem through genuine compliments and encouragement. Cheer them on with their small wins and milestones.
- Set healthy boundaries while also offering consistency and stability. Broken people often cling to those who show them love and affection due to a fear of abandonment. Gently but firmly maintaining boundaries will help them learn to have healthier relationships.
- Suggest professional counseling or therapy. While love and support from friends and family are vital, broken people often require professional help to work through trauma and learn coping strategies. A good counselor can be invaluable in the healing process.
- Forgive yourself for any mistakes and continue showing up. Helping a broken person heal is challenging work, and you will likely stumble at times. Pick yourself back up, make amends if needed, and recommit to being there for them. Your patience and perseverance can make all the difference in their journey toward wholeness.
With time and effort, broken people can heal and rebuild their sense of self-worth. But they cannot do it alone. We all have a role to play in binding up the brokenhearted.
Healing Starts With Admitting Your Brokenness
Admitting you are broken is the first step towards healing. A person who denies their own brokenness and need for help will have a much harder time overcoming their pain and struggles.
Those who are broken but unwilling to acknowledge it often remain stuck in unhealthy cycles and negative patterns of behavior. They may continue to self-sabotage or hurt others along the way. It takes courage and humility to look in the mirror and recognize your own flaws, faults, and deep-seated issues.
Broken people typically struggle with hurt, rejection, abandonment, or trauma from their past. This can manifest in many ways, like anger problems, anxiety, depression, addiction, unhealthy relationships, low self-esteem, perfectionism, controlling behavior, and more. The pains of the past remain unresolved and continue to impact their lives and choices in the present.
Admitting you need help is not a sign of weakness but of wisdom and strength. Speaking the truth about your brokenness, even if only to yourself at first, is how the healing process begins. It allows you to stop making excuses, blaming others, and running from your problems. You can then start to show yourself compassion, make amends where needed, set better boundaries, and pursue wholeness.
No one is beyond hope or help. Recognizing you’re broken is the essential first step to picking up the pieces of your life and finding restoration. With support from others, dedication to personal growth, and the courage to face your demons, even the most broken soul can mend. But it all starts by admitting you need to heal in the first place. That is how the light gets in, one small step towards wholeness at a time.
Rebuilding Your Sense of Self-Worth
To rebuild your sense of self-worth after experiencing brokenness, there are several things you can do:
- Focus on self-care. Make sure to engage in regular exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, and limit harmful habits. Taking good care of yourself physically and emotionally will help you feel better about yourself.
- Practice positive self-talk. Speak to yourself with encouragement and praise. Replace negative thoughts about yourself with more constructive ones. Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and the things you like about yourself.
- Set small goals and acknowledge your wins. Don’t aim for major life changes right away. Set modest goals and celebrate achieving them. Success builds upon success. Give yourself credit for your efforts and progress.
- Do things you enjoy. Engage in hobbies, activities, and social interactions that you find personally fulfilling. Make time for leisure and play. Expressing yourself in ways that feel meaningful boosts confidence and self-esteem.
- Accept yourself. Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are, flaws and all. Avoid harsh self-criticism and unrealistic expectations of perfection. You are deserving of love and belonging.
- Surround yourself with a strong support system. Spend time with people who love and respect you. Their positivity can help counter your own self-doubt and remind you of your worth. Let others’ belief in you bolster your belief in yourself.
Rebuilding self-worth is a journey. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that you are always deserving of love, especially your own. With time and effort, you can heal your wounded soul and find inner peace. Focus on progress, not perfection.
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Learning to Forgive Those Who Hurt You
Learning to forgive those who have hurt you is one of the hardest things a person can do, but it is necessary for healing. Forgiving others releases you from the bonds of bitterness and resentment, allowing inner peace to emerge.
To forgive someone means you are letting go of negative feelings like anger, bitterness, and resentment towards that person. It does not mean excusing their behavior or forgetting the offense. Forgiveness is a conscious choice and process that allows you to move on from the pain and trauma.
The wounded soul has a few options when dealing with those who have inflicted harm:
- Seek revenge: This path leads only to more pain and damaged relationships. Retaliating will not undo the hurt or make you feel better in the long run.
- Hold onto anger and resentment: Choosing to remain bitter keeps you trapped in the past and the offense on repeat in your mind. This prevents inner healing and growth.
- Forgive and move forward: Forgiving the other person releases you from bondage to the past so you can walk into freedom and a new life. Though difficult, it allows you to leave behind feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment.
Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you is a journey. It often takes time and conscious effort. But with each step towards forgiveness, your wounded soul will find release from pain and the possibility of restored relationships. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Finding Support on Your Healing Journey
Finding support for your healing journey is critical. Broken people often isolate themselves, but connecting with others who understand your pain can help tremendously.
Seek out counseling or therapy. Speaking with a mental health professional can provide guidance and support. A therapist can help you work through trauma, give you tools for coping with difficult emotions, and help you rebuild your sense of self-worth.
Connect with support groups. Look for support groups in your area for people dealing with similar issues. Speaking with others who have had comparable experiences can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide encouragement. Online forums and communities can also be helpful, allowing you to connect anonymously from the comfort of your home.
Build a network of close confidants. Seek out compassionate friends and family members who will listen without judgment when you need to talk. Let them know the specific ways they can support you, whether that’s just by lending an ear or also helping out in more practical ways. Be discerning in who you share intimate details with, focusing on people who have proven themselves trustworthy.
Practice self-care. Make sure to schedule time for yourself to rest, reflect, and recharge. Stay on a routine, limit stress when possible, eat healthy, and exercise. Do small things each day that you find meaningful or uplifting. Loving yourself will make the journey toward wholeness that much easier.
The road to healing is long, but with the proper support system in place, you can find the strength and courage to become whole again. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are—inconsistencies and all—and be gentle with yourself along the way.
Redeeming Brokenness: Finding Purpose in Your Pain
A broken person has been through immense pain and suffering, usually stemming from traumatic life events like abuse, neglect, or loss. Their soul bears deep wounds that often manifest in unhealthy ways of thinking and coping. However, within this brokenness lies the capacity for redemption and purpose.
Finding meaning. A broken person can find meaning by using their suffering to help others in similar situations. By sharing their story or insights, they may prevent others from experiencing the same pain or help them find healing. This gives purpose to the suffering, transforming it into something that can be used for good.
Developing compassion. Having walked through immense pain, a broken person has a depth of compassion for others that is hard to come by otherwise. They are able to truly empathize with and comfort those who are hurting in a way that brings hope and healing. This compassion is a gift that can redeem their brokenness.
Discovering their strengths. Traumatic events have a way of stripping away everything but our core selves. A broken person who emerges from this refining fire has a clear sense of what they can endure and overcome. They have tapped into an inner strength and resilience that serve as a source of power to face whatever life brings. This hard-won strength redeems their brokenness by allowing them to say,
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” (Genesis 50:20).
The broken soul that seeks redemption finds purpose that transcends their pain. Their suffering is transformed into compassion, their story into a lifeline, and their scars into signs of strength. Beauty rises from the ashes, and the light returns to eyes that have wept in the dark. Brokenness loses its power to define itself as purpose and meaning take their place.
Loving Someone Who Is Broken
Loving someone who is broken can be challenging but also rewarding. Broken people have lived through experiences that caused deep hurt and pain. Their souls bear scars that may not fully heal. However, there is beauty to be found in their resilience and capacity for hope.
To love a broken person:
- Accept them as they are. Do not try to “fix” them or make them change. Let them know you care for them unconditionally.
- Be patient and give them space. Broken people often need time alone to process emotions or stressful events. Do not take it personally. Offer a listening ear when they want to open up.
- Help build their confidence. Compliment them sincerely and encourage new pursuits. Cheer them on through struggles and setbacks. Your belief in them can help heal their self-doubt.
- Respect boundaries, and be sensitive about trust. It can take time for broken people to lower their guard. Earn their trust through consistency and discretion. Never break theirs.
- Reassure them of your affection and commitment. Broken people often struggle with fear of abandonment and betrayal. Offer frequent verbal and physical reassurance to help alleviate anxieties and strengthen your bond.
With compassion and understanding, you can make a profound difference in a broken person’s life. Your patience, kindness, and fidelity may be the balm that soothes their wounded soul. Though the road isn’t always easy, loving someone who is broken can be a journey that changes you both for the better.
Conclusion
Life has a way of breaking people in unique ways. Brokenness comes in all shapes and sizes and manifests differently for each person. Understanding those who have been hurt and carry deep wounds isn’t about judging or labeling them. It’s about extending compassion and grace.
Broken people often live behind walls they’ve built to protect themselves, but within those walls lives a soul that longs to be whole again. While their brokenness may impact you, make the effort to see beyond it. Meet them where they are, and listen without condemnation. Be willing to walk alongside them as they find their way to healing. For the wounded souls in this world, kindness and empathy can make all the difference.
References
- What To Do When You Feel Emotionally Broken (6 Important Steps) BY JACK NOLLAN
- Emotional Exhaustion: What It Is and How to Treat It By Jacquelyn Cafasso
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