So you’ve looked in the mirror and realized with dawning horror that you’re lame. It’s OK; it happens to the best of us at some point. But the good news is that lameness is curable. You just need the right plan of action. This 12-step program about how to not be lame is designed to shock your system out of its lameness and transform you into someone dripping with coolness and style.
Prepare to say goodbye to your old dorky self; the new hip and happening you are ready to break free. Follow these steps, and you’ll be well on your way to escaping lameness forever. Your uncool days are numbered, my friend. A new dawn of awesomeness is on the horizon!
Table of Contents
1. Admit You Have a Problem: How Lame Are You?
Admit it—your social skills could use some work. Maybe you overshare on Facebook or tell bad jokes. Perhaps you’re oblivious to conversations or have trouble relating to people. Don’t worry; you can overcome your lameness!
- Take a long, hard look in the mirror. Are you that person who always says the wrong thing or has trouble connecting with others? Identify your weaknesses so you can make a plan to strengthen them.
- Observe normal human interactions. Pay attention to how charismatic and likable people communicate and connect with others. Try mirroring their body language and way of speaking. You’ll pick up good habits in no time.
- Get out of your comfort zone. Try new hobbies and social activities to expand your horizons. Meet new people with similar interests. Having more to contribute to conversations will make you a more interesting person to be around.
- Listen more, talk less. Make a conscious effort to ask questions and listen when others speak. People will appreciate your genuine interest in them.
- Lighten up! Develop a sense of humor and learn to laugh at yourself. Tease playfully and accept teasing from friends in good fun. Show that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
- Practice good hygiene and style. Make sure you look and smell your best when socializing. Your appearance and confidence go hand in hand.
With time and conscious effort, you can overcome your laziness and become the cool, charismatic person you aspire to be. Stay positive; you’ve got this! Now go out there and work your newfound charm.
2. Change Your Style: Trade in the Cargo Shorts
Those cargo shorts have got to go. If you want to escape lameness, the first step is upgrading your style.
Trade in those shapeless, knee-length shorts for fitted chinos or casual slacks. Look for solid colors or simple patterns in dark, neutral tones that complement your complexion. Having clothes that actually fit will instantly make you look more stylish.
Update your t-shirt collection while you’re at it. Plain tees are fine for lounging at home, but choose patterned or graphic tees with current cultural references or inside jokes when going out. Look for tees promoting your interests or hobbies to spark conversations with like-minded people.
Mix in some button-down shirts for variety. Plaids, checks, and simple prints are stylish but still casual. Make sure they are fitted but not too tight, and always tuck them in for a polished look. Roll up the sleeves for extra flair.
A stylish jacket completes the look. Try a bomber, jean jacket, or casual blazer in a solid color. Just make sure it’s fitted and not too long.
With a wardrobe upgrade to fitted, fashionable clothes in your size, you’ll gain confidence and start attracting similar, stylish friends. Escape lameness by dressing for the life you want, not the one you have. Express your unique personality through your clothing choices, and you’ll never be uncool again.
3. Pick Up Some Hobbies: Anything but Stamp Collecting
Anyone can have hobbies, but the trick is finding ones that don’t make you seem boring or uncool. Stamp collecting? Bird watching? Sorry, those won’t cut it. You need pursuits that give you an air of mystery or adventure.
Learn to Cook
Cooking is a life skill everyone should have, and being able to whip up a delicious meal for friends is always impressive. Start with basics like pasta, stir fries, or brunch foods, then work your way up to cuisines from around the world. Your friends will be begging to come over for your next dinner party.
Pick a sport.
Playing a sport, even casually, is a great way to stay active and gives you an interesting topic of conversation. Consider recreational sports leagues in your area for things like kickball, dodgeball, volleyball, or softball. Or try solo pursuits like rock climbing, surfing, or mountain biking. Having an athletic hobby shows you have diverse interests and a thirst for adventure.
Learn to Play an instrument.
Music is a universal language, and knowing how to play an instrument is an attractive skill. Pick up a guitar, piano, or something more unique like the ukulele or harmonica. You don’t have to be an expert, but being able to play a few songs to entertain friends or at parties will boost your cool factor.
Travel as Much as possible.
Nothing expands your mind quite like travel. Even short trips to neighboring cities or countries can give you stories and experiences to share with others. Save up and plan bigger vacations when you’re able. The more places you visit, the more interesting conversations you’ll be able to have, and the more adaptable and culturally aware you become. Traveling is truly the ultimate hobby for escapism and improving yourself.
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With pursuits like these in your repertoire, no one will dare call you lame or uncool again. Get out there and start living an interesting life!
4. Improve Your Vocabulary: Stop Saying “Awesome!”
One of the quickest ways to upgrade from “lame” is to improve your vocabulary. Stop relying on words like “awesome” as your go-to superlative. Not everything is awesome. In fact, awesome is overused to the point of meaninglessness.
Expand your word bank of adjectives and sprinkle in some variety. For example, instead of awesome, consider:
- Brilliant
- Fascinating
- Extraordinary
- Stunning
- Mind-blowing
The same goes for “like.” Don’t say you like everything. Either be more specific or find another way to express your opinion. Rather than “I like it,” say something such as:
- It intrigues me.
- I find it amusing.
- It’s thought-provoking.
Learn new words each week to strengthen your verbal skills. Read more books, poetry, and magazine articles to absorb new languages. Play word games like Scrabble or Words with Friends. When writing, challenge yourself by trying to avoid repeating words in close proximity. The larger your vocabulary, the less likely it is that you’ll rely on generic words as a crutch.
Upgrade your conversation with more sophisticated language. But don’t overdo it, or you risk sounding pretentious. Find the right balance between eloquent and relatable. Speak clearly and confidently, pronouncing words properly. Poor diction and mumbling will undo your hard work in expanding your word bank.
With practice, elevating your language skills will become second nature. You’ll open yourself up to new ways of engaging and connecting with others in more meaningful discussions.
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And the less you sound like everyone else using the same boring superlatives, the more interesting you’ll become. Escape lameness by valuing an expanded vocabulary and using your words thoughtfully. That’s truly awesome!
5. Develop an Interest in culture by reading a Book Not Assigned in High school.
Developing an interest in culture is key to escaping lameness. Pick up a book that wasn’t assigned in your high school English class. Broaden your mind by exposing yourself to new ideas and ways of thinking.
Some recommendations to get you started:
- Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger This novel provides insight into teenage angst and rebellion against societal norms.
- Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari This thought-provoking book explores how humankind has come to rule the planet. You’ll gain a new perspective on human history and human nature.
- Anything by Haruki Murakami Murakami’s stories blends fantasy, reality, and self-reflection in a way that will spark your imagination. His writing provides an escape from everyday life.
- A graphic novel like Maus by Art Spiegelman or Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi. Don’t overlook the power of visual storytelling to convey compelling and moving stories. Graphic novels are an innovative medium for sharing new ideas.
Branching out beyond your normal reading habits can open you up to new ways of thinking and more cultured conversations. You’ll have an arsenal of talking points for your next party or date. Referencing a work of fiction or sharing an interesting fact you learned demonstrates you have depth and intellectual curiosity.
Reading more culturally and socially aware books, especially those highlighting diverse voices and experiences, fosters open-mindedness and inclusiveness. Understanding different perspectives helps overcome biases and brings more empathy into the world. All of which will make you a more interesting, thoughtful, and, yes, cultured person.
Put down that dusty old textbook and pick up something new. Developing an insatiable appetite for books is a surefire way to escape lameness. Open your mind through reading, and you’ll soon be stepping into a bigger, more vibrant world.
6. Stay Informed: Discuss Current Events Without Sounding Pompous
To avoid seeming out of touch or pompous when discussing current events, focus on listening and asking questions rather than lecturing others. People will appreciate your genuine interest in learning their perspective. Some tips:
- Read a balanced mix of news sources to develop an informed yet open-minded understanding of issues. Avoid echo chambers that just reinforce what you already think.
- Ask open-ended questions to promote discussion, not just debate. Say something like, “What do you think about [topic]?” or “How is [current event] impacting you?” Listen with an open mind.
- Share your perspective without arrogance. Use “I” statements, like “I can see both sides of this issue.” Or say, “The way I see it is…” This shows you have an opinion but are open to other views.
- Discuss ideas, not individuals. Avoid personal attacks, criticism of groups, and broad generalizations. Talk about the issues, not the people or groups involved.
- Admit what you don’t know and ask follow-up questions. Say, “I haven’t been following this closely. Can you explain your perspective on it?” People will appreciate your humility and genuine interest in learning.
- Lighten the mood when needed. If a discussion gets tense, use humor and self-deprecation to ease the tension and bring the focus back to exchanging ideas, not proving a point. A little laughter goes a long way!
The key to discussing current events without seeming pompous is promoting an open exchange of ideas, not just sharing your opinions. Focus on listening, learning, and finding common ground. People will appreciate your genuine interest in understanding them, not just debating or lecturing them. Staying informed, yet open-minded and inclusive, is the path to escaping lameness.
7. Work on Your Confidence: Stop Caring What Other People think.
To build your confidence, you need to stop worrying so much about what other people think of you. Their opinions really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Instead, focus on your own values and priorities.
Stop Seeking approval.
Don’t let the desire for approval from your peers or social groups dictate how you live your life. Do what feels right for you, not what you think will make you seem “cool.” March to the beat of your own drum.
You Can’t Please everyone.
Not everyone is going to like you, so stop trying. You’ll drive yourself crazy attempting to please people who, frankly, don’t really care about you. Spend your energy nurturing relationships with people who share your interests and values.
Be Authentic
The coolest people are the ones who are comfortable with who they are. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to fit in. Embrace your quirks and unique qualities. People will respect you more if you respect yourself.
What Others Think of You is None of Your business.
At the end of the day, people’s opinions of you say more about them than about you. Don’t take other people’s judgments or criticisms personally. Their approval or disapproval does not define your worth or value. You get to decide how much power you give to what others say or think about you.
The bottom line is that you’ll never become confident by seeking validation from others. True confidence comes from within by accepting yourself, focusing on self-improvement, and not caring what people who don’t really matter think. Work on tuning out the noise and listening to your own inner voice. That’s where you’ll find your cool.
8. Get in Shape: You Don’t Have to Be a Triathlete; Just Put in Some Effort
Getting in shape doesn’t mean you have to become an elite athlete. Simply incorporating regular exercise into your weekly routine can go a long way toward improving your fitness and overall health. Even taking small steps to move your body more will help combat lameness.
- Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week. This could be a brisk walk, jog, bike ride, or swim. Start slow and build up your endurance over time. Any activity that gets your heart rate up and works your major muscle groups will do the trick.
- Do bodyweight exercises like pushups, squats, lunges, and sit-ups. These require no equipment and can be done anywhere. Try doing 2-3 sets of each exercise with 10–15 reps in each set. Increase the difficulty over time as your strength improves.
- Lift weights to build muscle. Focus on compound lifts like bench presses, overhead presses, rows, and deadlifts. Start with lighter weights and higher reps—around 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps of each exercise. Add weight and decrease reps over time as your muscles adapt.
- Take the stairs whenever possible. Climbing stairs provides an easy way to sneak in extra activity and build endurance.
- Stand while working. If possible, stand while typing emails, taking phone calls, or doing other tasks. Standing burns more calories than sitting and is better for your back and core muscles.
- Stay active on the weekends. It’s easy to be lazy on Saturdays and Sundays, but make an effort to get outside for a hike, bike ride, or other enjoyable activity. Your body and mind will thank you.
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Getting in shape and staying active are keys to avoiding lameness. Start making small changes to boost your activity level and build an exercise habit. Your improved fitness and health will motivate you to continue progressing toward your goals. Staying in motion is the key to escaping lameness.
9. Travel More: Experience Life Outside Your Comfort Zone
Traveling expands your mind in ways that staying in your comfort zone never can. Get out there and experience life outside of the familiar! Here are some tips to help you escape lameness through travel:
Visit Different Countries and cultures.
Immerse yourself in different cultures by traveling abroad. Experience how people live in other parts of the world. Try the local cuisine, learn some basic greetings in the native language, and observe the cultural norms. Exploring diverse cultures will open your mind to new ways of living.
Get Out of Your routine.
The familiarity of routine can lead to feeling stuck in a rut. Traveling shakes up your routine in exciting ways. Wake up in a new city or country and go explore! Allow yourself to get lost wandering the streets. Encounter the unexpected. Break free from schedules and to-do lists. Rediscover a sense of adventure.
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Meet New people.
Strike up conversations with fellow travelers or locals. Hear their stories and perspectives. Making personal connections with people from diverse backgrounds expands your mind and challenges preconceptions. You may even make lasting friendships. Shared experiences of travel often form quick bonds between open-minded explorers.
Try New activities.
Travel is a perfect opportunity to step out of your comfort zone by trying new activities. Take a surfing lesson, go rock climbing, learn to cook ethnic cuisine, study a new craft, or take a dance class. Pushing your limits and developing new skills keeps you out of a rut and boosts your confidence. You’ll return home with a thirst for continuous self-improvement.
The rewards of travel are life-changing. Open your mind by immersing yourself in new cultures, escaping routine, connecting with others, and challenging yourself. A willingness to step outside your comfort zone will lead to exciting discoveries about yourself and the world around you. Break free from the familiar and go experience life!
10. Humor Is Subjective: Avoid Corny Jokes and Learn Wit
Avoiding lameness requires avoiding corny jokes and developing a sense of humor. Corny jokes are overly simplistic, predictable, and elicit more eye rolls than laughs. Wit, on the other hand, is clever, playful, and sophisticated. Developing your wit is a skill that takes practice.
To avoid corny jokes:
- Don’t repeat jokes you’ve heard before. Come up with your own original material.
- Avoid obvious puns or plays on words. These are too easy and predictable.
- Don’t joke about topics that are inappropriate or could offend. Stick to lighthearted subjects.
- Don’t try too hard or force humor where there isn’t any. Let wit come naturally in conversation.
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To develop your wit:
- Pay attention to language and how words can have multiple meanings or be cleverly strung together. Look for unexpected parallels between ideas.
- Stay on top of current events, popular culture, and trends so you have a wide range of references and allusions to draw from.
- Practice quick thinking by engaging in casual debates or discussions on random topics. React spontaneously instead of overthinking your responses.
- Develop an absurdist or quirky sense of humor. Look for humor in the ordinary or mundane. Whimsical twists on familiar subjects can be witty.
- Tease and banter playfully with close friends and family. Witty repartee comes with practice. Learn how far you can push inside jokes and silly antics.
- Consume media from witty comedians, comedy shows, or podcasts. Pay attention to how they craft jokes and comebacks. Emulate their style.
Avoiding corniness and developing your wit is a matter of being observant, thinking on your feet, and not taking yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at life’s absurdities, and you’ll discover your inner wit. With regular practice, you’ll be trading lame jokes for clever quips in no time.
11. Good Posture and Eye Contact: Stand Up Straight and Engage People
Good posture and eye contact are key to appearing engaged and confident. Slouching and avoiding eye contact make you seem disinterested and uncomfortable, qualities that do not inspire coolness.
Stand up straight with your shoulders back to establish an open and confident posture. Make eye contact, smile, and greet people you pass on the street or in the hallway. Engage strangers in light banter or casual conversation when the opportunity arises. This helps you appear friendly and socially adept, not aloof or awkward.
In conversations, maintain friendly eye contact. Look away periodically so you don’t seem aggressive, but keep re-establishing eye contact to show you are actively listening and focused on the discussion. Glancing around the room or at your phone during a conversation signals that you have better things to do than talk to the person in front of you.
Your body language and eye contact create your first impression. Project confidence through engaged, open body language and consistent, friendly eye contact. This combination makes you seem charismatic and pleasant to be around. People will perceive you as cool, interesting, and worth getting to know.
Slouching in the corner Avoiding eye contact will ensure you are overlooked and labeled as shy or aloof. So stand up straight, smile, and say hello. Engage people with genuine warmth and interest. Your cool factor will rise in direct proportion to the comfort and confidence you display when interacting with others.
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12. Practice Good listening by showing interest in others.
A good listener shows interest in others by giving them their full attention. Don’t check your phone or look around the room when someone is talking to you. Make eye contact, smile, and nod to show you’re engaged. Ask follow-up questions to make sure you understand them and to encourage them to share more details.
Paraphrase what they said to confirm you comprehended it correctly. For example, say something like, “It sounds like you’re saying…” or “In other words, you mean…”. People will appreciate that you cared enough to listen and understand them.
Pay attention to your body language and tone of voice. Look for visual cues that there may be more they want to share but are hesitant to open up about. Provide empathy by saying something like, “It seems like there’s more you want to get off your chest.” Give them space to share at their own pace.
Share relevant experiences of your own to build rapport and connections. But don’t take over the conversation; keep the focus on them. Make it a dialog, not a monologue.
After listening, provide feedback to show you value what they had to say. You might say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I really appreciate your perspective.” Or, “I learned a lot from our conversation.” Let them know that their thoughts matter to you.
Good listening skills require conscious effort but get easier with regular practice. Make a habit of giving people your full attention, showing interest in their words and body language, paraphrasing what they share, and providing empathy and feedback. These active listening techniques will make you a master conversationalist and help you build better relationships.
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FAQs: Common Questions From Lame Individuals
So you want to escape lameness and up your cool factor, but you aren’t sure where to start. No worries; we’ve got you covered with answers to some frequently asked questions from self-proclaimed lame individuals.
Do I have to wear trendy clothes to be cool?
Absolutely not. While cool people often dress in stylish, fashion-forward clothes, that alone won’t make you cool. More important is wearing clothes in which you feel comfortable and confident. Focus on developing your own unique sense of style. The coolest people are comfortable with who they are.
Do I need to be good at sports to be considered cool?
Being athletic or sporty can contribute to someone’s coolness, but it’s not required. Many cool people have diverse interests and talents beyond just physical abilities. Develop your own interests and pursuits that you genuinely care about. Passion and skill in any arena—arts, music, activism, gaming, whatever—can boost your cool factor.
I’m kind of nerdy. Does that automatically make me lame?
Absolutely not. While some see nerds and geeks as uncool, many of today’s coolest people are proudly nerdy or quirky in some way. Being smart, curious, or passionate about any topic is appealing. The key is owning who you are with confidence.
The bottom line is that coolness comes from within. Develop your talents, pursue your interests, be kind to others, believe in yourself, and rock who you are—that’s the coolest thing of all.
Take Away
So there you have it—your 12-step program to escape lameness and up your cool factor. It will take effort and commitment, but stay focused on progress, not perfection. No one is cool all the time, so cut yourself some slack and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Learn to laugh at yourself endearingly. Focus on developing your interests, values, and personality, not just chasing what’s trendy. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are. And remember, what really matters is how you view yourself, not what others think is cool. You’ve got this. Now go out there and unleash your inner awesome. The world needs more real people and less laziness. You can do your part by just being your authentic self.
References
- Scientists Have Determined What Makes You Boring to Other People– How many traits identified in this study do you have? BY DAN BOVA • MAR 21, 2022
- Boring People: Stereotype Characteristics, Interpersonal Attributions, and Social Reactions– Wijnand A. P. van Tilburg , Eric R. Igou, and Mehr Panjwan published in SAGE journals
- How Not to be Boring – A YouTube video
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