Waiting has never been my strong suit. My fingers impatiently tap, my leg nervously shakes, and time seems to slow to a crawl. In today’s fast-paced world of instant gratification, waiting feels like an outdated skill that I never quite mastered. But recently, I’ve come to realize that patience is a virtue worth cultivating. Impatience often breeds anxiety, restlessness, and poor decision-making.
The ability to delay gratification and sit with uncertainty or discomfort allows for greater creativity, mindfulness, and wisdom. And so I’ve set out on a journey to rediscover the lost art of waiting. Join me as I share some hard-won lessons on how to ease into the present moment, release unrealistic expectations of speed and control, and ultimately find more peace in each passing minute.
The secret, I’ve found, lies in quieting the restless mind and stilling the tapping toes. With practice, patience can become second nature. The waiting game just got a whole lot more bearable.
Table of Contents
Why We Get Impatient and the Downsides
The truth is, impatience usually stems from restlessness, anxiety, or a desire for instant gratification. For me, it’s often wanting things to happen on my timeline. The downside is that impatience can lead to stress, irritability, and hasty decision-making.
Why do I get impatient? Sometimes it’s low frustration tolerance or poor coping skills. Other times it’s entitlement (“I want it now!”), perfectionism (“It’s not happening fast enough!”), or poor planning (not leaving enough time). The reasons don’t really matter, though. What’s important is cultivating patience. How? I try to start with self-awareness. Catching myself getting antsy and asking why helps me address the root cause. I also practice mindfulness, focusing on the present moment rather than the future. When I feel rushed, I take a few deep breaths to center myself.
Choosing to slow down and simplify life has been key. I build margin into my schedule and focus on one thing at a time. When waiting, I keep my mind occupied with a book, podcast, or observing my surroundings.
Patience is a virtue, one that reduces stress and leads to greater contentment and well-being. Like any skill, it takes conscious practice. But the rewards of overcoming impatience are well worth the effort. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
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How to Stop Being Impatient
To overcome impatience, you need to practice mindfulness, self-compassion, and gratitude. One way to do this is to recognize the signs of impatience and acknowledge them without judging yourself. When you feel impatient, you may experience physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, muscle tension, sweating, or breathing faster. You may also have negative thoughts such as “This is taking too long”, “I can’t stand this”, or “Why is this happening to me?”. Instead of reacting to these signs, try to observe them with curiosity and kindness. Remind yourself that impatience is a natural emotion that everyone feels at some point, and that you can choose how to respond to it.
1. Cultivating Patience Starts With Self-Awareness
To become more patient, I had to first understand why I was so impatient. For me, it boiled down to two things: a desire for instant gratification and an unwillingness to accept uncertainty.
I wanted what I wanted, and I wanted it now. The smallest delay or inconvenience would send my impatience soaring. I also hated not knowing how long I might have to wait or what the outcome would be. Not being in control and having to depend on external factors aggravated my impatience. Recognizing these triggers was key. Now, when I start to feel impatient, I pause and ask myself, “What’s really driving this feeling? Is it a need for instant results or an aversion to uncertainty? Then I remind myself that I can tolerate waiting and unsure outcomes. I focus on the benefits of patience and staying calm.
Developing patience is a journey. But by building self-awareness, I’ve learned how to avoid impatience traps and maintain a balanced perspective. The art of waiting is one worth cultivating.
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2. Learning to Accept and Let Go When You Have to Wait
When impatience rears its ugly head, the only thing that helps me is learning to accept the wait and let go of what I can’t control.
I used to get so worked up when stuck in traffic or in a long queue. My heart would race, and I’d feel incredibly antsy, checking the time every 30 seconds. I’ve realized that fighting the wait only makes time pass more slowly and ruins my mood and patience. Now, I try to make the most of the time by listening to an audiobook, calling a friend to chat, or doing some simple stretching exercises. Staying calm and distracted helps the minutes fly by.
The hardest waits are often the uncertain ones—waiting for medical test results or a job offer. During these times, I work on accepting what I can’t change and try not to catastrophize by imagining worst-case scenarios. Easier said than done, I know, but maintaining optimism and hope is so important. I also lean on my support network for encouragement. Talking to others who have been in a similar spot helps me feel less alone and more at peace.
When impatience strikes, the secret is learning to relax into the uncertainty. Staying busy, distracted, and connected to loved ones makes the waiting time pass more quickly. And remember, this too shall pass. Even the longest waits eventually come to an end.
3. Staying Present Through Mindfulness
One of the hardest things for me in today’s fast-paced world is learning patience. My mind tends to jump from one thought to the next, dwelling on the future or past instead of the present moment. To cultivate patience, I’ve found mindfulness techniques to be invaluable.
When I notice myself getting impatient, I make an effort to pause and bring my focus to the present. Some things I do:
- Take a few deep breaths to center myself. This helps slow my racing thoughts and redirect my mind to the current moment.
- Observe my senses. I take in what I see, hear, smell, and physically feel. This anchors me to the here and now.
- Repeat a calming word or phrase. I say “patience” or “this too shall pass” to help shift my mindset.
- Limit distractions. I put away my phone and other devices. Fewer diversions make it easier to be fully present.
With regular practice of these techniques, I’ve gotten better at catching myself when impatience starts to arise. Staying present in the moment, rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, has been key to cultivating patience in my life. Though it is not always easy, the effort is worth it.
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4. Distracting Yourself in a Healthy Way
To avoid impatience, I’ve found that distracting myself in healthy ways is key. When I feel restless waiting in line or in traffic, I pull out my phone and do a quick round of my brain-training app, Lumosity. The challenging games occupy my mind, and the time passes more quickly. If I have a few minutes, I will call a friend or family member for a chat. Hearing a friendly voice and catching up always lifts my mood and provides an escape from impatience.
Sometimes distraction isn’t possible, and I have to sit with the impatience. In those cases, I practice mindfulness techniques like focused deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization. Taking some deep breaths and releasing tension from my body calms my mind and helps me stay grounded in the present moment instead of wishing it away. Short visualization exercises where I imagine a peaceful, calming scene also help shift my mindset.
While cultivating patience is challenging, using healthy distractions and mindfulness techniques makes the waiting periods more bearable. Staying occupied and centered helps the time pass more quickly, so I can move on to more engaging activities. With regular practice, these skills become second nature and help, over time, increase my overall patience and ability to delay gratification.
5. Shift your mindset to see time as abundant.
The key to cultivating patience is shifting how you view time. When you see time as scarce, you feel impatient because you want things to happen immediately. But when you recognize that time is abundant, impatience fades away.
I used to constantly check the clock, eager for the next thing on my schedule. But now I try to appreciate each moment instead of wishing it away. Time passes either way, so why not make the most of it? When I start feeling restless, I take a few deep breaths and remind myself that hurrying won’t make time move any faster.
Rather than thinking of all the things I have to get done, I focus on one thing at a time. That way, I can give each task my full attention. When waiting in line or in traffic, I see it as an opportunity to catch up on reading or do some light exercise like stretching.
Shifting to an abundant mindset takes practice, but it gets easier with time. The moments we have are fleeting, so why waste them being impatient? There’s no need to rush when you realize you have all the time you need.
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6. Seeing Delays as Opportunities
When things don’t go as planned and I have to wait, I try to view it as an opportunity rather than an annoyance.
Finding the Silver Lining: Delays often mean there are lessons I can learn or chances to improve myself. Maybe the wait will build my patience or give me time to reflect on what really matters. I can choose to make the most of the time by reading, exercising, calling a friend, or pursuing a hobby. When I’m stuck in traffic, I play audiobooks or podcasts. At the doctor’s office, I bring a book or do crossword puzzles.
Staying positive helps the time pass more quickly. I know that getting upset or impatient won’t change the situation; it will only make me feel worse. Most of the time, the wait isn’t as long as I anticipate, and I’ve built it up in my mind to be some terrible inconvenience. Maintaining perspective and focusing on the benefits of patience help me stay calm in these moments of uncertainty. After all, life moves fast; any chance to slow down is an opportunity in disguise.
7. Focus on the journey, not just the destination.
The journey is just as important as the destination. When impatience sets in, it’s easy to become fixated on the outcome and lose sight of the path to get there.
I try to remind myself that life’s about the journey, not just the destinations. Focusing too much on endpoints often makes the time in between seem like an annoyance. But the journey shapes us in ways we can’t foresee. Every challenge and milestone along the way helps build character and wisdom.
Rather than rushing to get somewhere, I’m learning to appreciate each step. Even mundane details become more meaningful when I’m present in the moment. Slowing down helps me notice subtle joys and lessons I’d otherwise miss in my haste.
The next time impatience arises, I’ll do my best to pause and be grateful for the journey. The destination will still be there, but the path to get there is fleeting. By embracing each twist and turn, the journey becomes as rewarding as any endpoint.
8. Find Healthy Distractions When Waiting
Waiting can be tough, I know. My impatience often gets the better of me, whether I’m in a long line at the store or stuck in traffic. One trick I’ve learned to help pass the time is finding a distraction to occupy my mind.
When I’m waiting, I play games on my phone like sudoku or crossword puzzles. Doing a jigsaw or sudoku helps take my mind off the clock. If I don’t have my phone handy, I start counting things around me, like ceiling tiles, people wearing red shirts, types of cars—anything to keep my mind occupied. Mentally reorganizing my to-do list or planning my week’s meals are other good mental distractions.
People watching is another favorite pastime of mine while waiting. I make up imaginary backstories for strangers or try to guess what people are talking about. Observing others and being curious about their lives helps the minutes slip by.
The next time you find yourself impatiently waiting, try finding a distraction to occupy your mind. Keeping busy will make the time pass more quickly and cultivate patience. Staying calm and distracted is the key to overcoming impatience in everyday situations.
9. Learning from Role Models of Patience
I’ve always struggled with patience. I want what I want, and I want it now. But over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the value of cultivating patience. Some of the people I most admire, like Martin Luther King, Jr., and Gandhi, were paragons of patience in fighting injustice.
One thing that has helped me is following the examples of patient role models. MLK and Gandhi were able to accomplish so much through non-violent civil disobedience and patience. They understood that real change happens gradually. Impatience often breeds anxiety, aggression, and poor decision-making. Patience allows us to slow down, evaluate situations objectively, and make wiser choices.
The people I look up to most are those who can stay calm and think strategically during difficult times. They understand that most things worth having are worth waiting for. And they appreciate each small step along the way. I try to channel their patience and long-term thinking. It’s still a struggle, but focusing on their examples helps me overcome my impatience and stay focused on the bigger picture.
10. Be compassionate with yourself and others.
When I find myself growing impatient, I try to remember that everyone is dealing with their own struggles. We all move through the world at our own pace, and there are many reasons why someone may be moving slower than me that have nothing to do with me. Cultivating compassion for others who test my patience is difficult but so important.
Some things I do to build understanding are:
- I put myself in their shoes. What if I were in their situation? How would I want to be treated? I give people the benefit of the doubt. There are usually extenuating circumstances I know nothing about.
- I take a few deep breaths to avoid reacting hastily. A little patience and kindness can go a long way.
- I remember that every person deserves to be treated with dignity. My impatience helps no one.
With practice, compassion becomes easier. But it is a lifelong effort. When I stumble, I try again. Slowing down and reflecting on why patience is so vital helps me better embody it. We’re all in this together, after all, just trying to do our best.
11. Learn to accept what you cannot control.
When impatience starts to get the better of me, I remind myself of a few key things. First, I focus on the things I can influence and let go of what I can’t. Standing in a long line or stuck in traffic? I’ll call a friend to chat or listen to an audio book. The actions of others and events out of my control will still frustrate me, but accepting what I cannot change helps shift my mindset to patience. Secondly, I take some deep breaths and try to maintain perspective. Will this delay or inconvenience really matter in the long run? Often, the annoyance of waiting passes quickly, and life moves on.
Staying calm and patient, especially for small hiccups, leads to greater peace and contentment. Finally, I look for opportunities to turn waiting into a chance to slow down and be still. Our fast-paced world leaves little time for rest. Standing in line at the store or waiting at the doctor’s office becomes a moment to just be, rather than an obstacle to overcome quickly. Using time spent waiting as a chance for mindfulness and solitude helps me cultivate patience in a meaningful way.
With regular practice of these techniques, you’ll get better and better at waiting—and maybe even start to appreciate life’s little pauses. Patience, after all, is a virtue for good reason.
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12. Developing Long-Term Thinking for the Big Picture
Waiting is a skill that must be developed and honed over time. As an impatient person, I have had to teach myself some patience through practice. Here are a few tips I’ve learned:
Start with small waits. Don’t try to go from zero to 60 in waiting endurance. Begin with small increments of time, like waiting an extra 30 seconds before responding to an email or microwaving your food. As you get comfortable, increase the intervals.
With regular practice of waiting in small doses, your patience muscle will strengthen. Before you know it, you’ll be able to wait longer without frustration. The key is starting small and building up gradually.
Conclusion
After reading this, I hope you feel inspired and equipped to start practicing the art of waiting. It won’t happen overnight, but with consistent effort, your impatience will subside. Start with small changes, like putting your phone away while in line or taking a few deep breaths when you feel frustration rising. Appreciate the little moments of stillness and silence.
Find beauty in mundane, everyday activities. Your relationships, health, and overall wellbeing will thank you. The journey is long, my friends, so take it slow and enjoy the ride. With patience by your side, life’s meaning can finally be found not in the destination but in the path itself.
References
- Impatience Laws: Understanding Impatience And Tackling It what is / By Mantracare Author
- Why Am I So Impatient? Causes of Impatience in the Workplace
- Impatient People Are Forced To Be Patient Everyday: They Should Take A Hint by Luis E. Romero from Forbes
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