Ever have the feeling someone isn’t your biggest fan, but you can’t quite put your finger on why? We’ve all been there. The subtle signs are hard to spot, but it become painfully obvious once you know what to look for. You start to notice the eye rolls, the sighs, and the way they avoid direct conversation with you.

Don’t worry; you’re not imagining things. If you’re getting the vibe that someone isn’t your number-one cheerleader, they probably aren’t.

Here are 10 signs someone secretly dislikes you, so you can stop second-guessing yourself. Consider this your cheat sheet for all the backhanded compliments, snarky comments, and overall shade. It’s time to get wise to the not-so-subtle ways people show you they’re not that into you.

Ways to Express Displeasure

Ways to Express Displeasure
Ways to Express Displeasure

Depending on the situation and the person you are addressing, there are many ways to express displeasure. Some common ways are:

1. Non-verbal cues that could suggest displeasure

A lack of eye contact is a major sign someone may not like you. It could indicate disinterest or annoyance if they avoid making eye contact, seem distracted when speaking with you, or engage with you only partially during conversations.

• Crossed arms or legs. Folding their arms across the chest or crossing their legs away from you can suggest they feel defensive or closed off.

• Forced smile. A tight, fake-looking smile that doesn’t reach their eyes may show they’re not genuinely pleased to see you.

• Tense body language. Rigid posture, a clenched jaw, or fists can all be signs of tension, discomfort, or suppressed anger in someone’s presence.

• Lack of enthusiasm. A dull, unenergetic tone of voice and a lack of excitement in their expressions or gestures may reveal an overall lack of enthusiasm for interacting with or being around you.

Attention to these subtle clues, especially when combined, can help determine if someone may harbor secret feelings of dislike or displeasure in your presence. But remember, their behavior could also stem from other causes, so look for multiple signs before concluding.

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2. Verbal cues that could signal dislike

Want to know if someone isn’t your biggest fan? Please pay attention to how they talk to and about you. Some key signs that point to concealed disdain include:

  • Backhanded compliments. Remarks like “You look great for your age!” or “You’re smarter than you seem.” It comes across as snide insults wrapped in a superficially nice package.
  • Constant criticism. Continually picking apart your choices, decisions, and appearance very judgmentally. Excessive fault-finding is a major red flag.
  • Ignoring or excluding you. Pretend you’re not there by avoiding eye contact or directing questions or comments to everyone else. Leaving you out of get-togethers or group activities on purpose.
  • Spreading rumors. Starting or perpetuating gossip about you behind your back. Trying to damage your reputation through malicious lies and unfounded claims.
  • Patronizing tone. Speaking to you overly simplistically and condescendingly, as if you were a small child. This implies you need concepts dumbed down in an insulting fashion.
  • Negative comparisons. Regularly bring up ways in which others are superior to you in talents, looks, success, or accomplishments. It is meant solely to make you feel “less than.”

The words people choose and how they engage (or not!) with you can expose their true feelings. Pay close attention, trust your instincts, and don’t ignore the not-so-subtle signs that someone may not be your biggest fan.

3. Changes in behavior that could suggest displeasure

Have they become distant or aloof toward you?

  • Do they no longer joke around or engage in friendly banter?
  • Have invitations to hang out or do fun activities together been declined or stopped altogether?
  • Are replies short, curt, or unenthusiastic compared to their normal communication style?

These behavioral changes, especially if sudden or unexplained, could signal that this person has developed some negative feelings towards you. People who secretly dislike someone may act cold, unfriendly, or indifferent to avoid engaging with them.

Pay attention to how this person acts around others; if their behavior seems normal in other contexts, it’s more likely their change in behavior around you is personal.

10 Signs Someone Secretly Dislikes You

Signs Someone Secretly Dislikes You
Signs Someone Secretly Dislikes You

It can be hard to tell if someone dislikes you, especially if they are good at hiding their true feelings. However, some subtle signs can indicate that someone is not fond of you, even if they don’t say it outright. Here are some of them:

1. They Don’t Engage in Conversation

When someone dislikes you, they tend to avoid engaging in genuine conversation. They’ll give short, curt answers and not ask you any follow-up questions. If you try to start a discussion, they quickly change the subject or make an excuse to end the chat.

Please pay attention to their body language, too. Are they making eye contact, facing you, and seeming interested in your words? Or do they seem tense, turn away from you, fold their arms, and look distracted? Lack of engagement and closed-off body language are subtle signs that someone may not think too highly of you.

Of course, there are exceptions. Some people are just shy or poor communicators. But if someone who was once friendly now seems to avoid meaningful interaction with you, it could indicate their feelings have changed. The truth has a way of coming out through our everyday interactions and behavior.

2. They Make Excuses for Not Spending Time Together

They always seem to have an excuse for why they can’t plan with you.

  • They claim to be “too busy” with work or other commitments whenever you suggest grabbing coffee or drinks.
  • They frequently cancel plans at the last minute, citing excuses like not feeling well or having a “family emergency.”
  • They avoid one-on-one interactions and only want to meet up in groups. That way, they can hide their dislike for you in the presence of others.

If someone repeatedly brushes you off or avoids spending time alone together, it’s a sign they don’t enjoy your company. After all, we make time for people we like.

Save your energy on people who can’t even be bothered to make you a priority. Focus instead on surrounding yourself with those who genuinely appreciate you.

3. They Don’t Open Up to You

You may have noticed that this person only shares a little personal information. They don’t tell you about their interests, hobbies, relationships, or personal life events. While some people are just private individuals, if someone actively avoids opening up to you specifically, it could be a sign they don’t fully trust you or feel comfortable around you.

Please pay attention to how much they share with others versus how much they share with you. If there is a clear difference, they may harbor some negative feelings. Their lack of willingness to be vulnerable around you is a subtle cue that they would rather keep you at a distance.

Don’t take it, though, as their reasons could be more about their issues and less about who you are. Give them space and focus on surrounding yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are.

4. They’re Short or Curt With You

When someone dislikes you, they tend to keep interactions brief and to the point. Their tone may come across as rude or impatient. They don’t engage in friendly, small talk and seem eager to end conversations with you.

If a co-worker or acquaintance is typically friendly and chatty with others but short and curt with you, it could be a sign they have negative feelings toward you. They don’t want to spend any more time with you than is necessary. Watch out for one-word answers, a need for follow-up questions, and an overall disinterest in speaking with you.

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5. They Exclude You from Group Activities.

Ever notice how they make plans before you but don’t invite you along? Or how do they get quiet when you walk in the room like they are talking about you? These are signs they’d rather not have you around. People who appreciate you will want to include you and value your company.

If someone acts like you’re an afterthought or they have to invite you to keep up appearances reluctantly, they probably don’t think too highly of you. Take the hint and invest your time in people who genuinely want you around.

6. They Don’t Remember Personal Details About You.

They can’t seem to remember any personal details about you. Do they frequently forget important dates like your birthday or anniversary? Do they repeatedly ask you the same questions about your interests, hobbies, or family?

Someone who dislikes you likely doesn’t care enough to commit these details about your life to memory. After all, if they were genuinely interested in you, they would try to remember what’s important and meaningful to you.

While occasional forgetfulness happens to the best of us, a pattern of not recalling personal information may be a sign that this person just isn’t that into you. Don’t make excuses for their behavior or blame yourself. Recognize that you deserve to be surrounded by people who appreciate you for who you are—quirks, interests, goals, and all.

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7. They Spread Rumors or Gossip About You.

If someone secretly dislikes you, they may spread rumors and gossip behind your back. Have you noticed co-workers whispering when you enter a room or friends being cagey about what they are discussing? Chances are, they were talking about you. People spreading rumors try to make themselves feel better by putting you down.

The best way to combat rumormongers is to rise above their petty behavior. Do not engage or confront them, as this will likely only worsen the situation. Instead, focus on the people who treat you with kindness and respect.

Their good opinion of you is what matters. If rumors seriously damage your reputation or relationships, you may need to address them with HR or consider distancing yourself from the source. But generally, the less attention you give rumor-spreaders, the less power you give them over you.

8. They Ignore Your Messages and Calls.

If someone who used to respond promptly now takes days or weeks to return your texts or calls, that’s a sign they may be avoiding you. People who dislike you often want to avoid engaging with you or making an effort to stay in contact.

They may claim to be “too busy” to respond but somehow find the time for others. Their excuses seem hollow. Conversations feel strained, and they don’t ask follow-up questions to keep the dialog going.

Short, curt responses with little detail indicate they want to end the exchange quickly. The less interested they seem in what you say, the more likely they are to harbor negative feelings towards you that they’re not expressing openly.

9. They Criticize and Put You Down Frequently.

If someone constantly criticizes you or puts you down, especially in front of others, it’s a sign they don’t like you. Constructive criticism from a friend or colleague can be helpful, but frequent negative comments about your abilities, appearance, or work are hurtful and uncalled for.

Someone who truly appreciates you will treat you with kindness and respect. Don’t waste time trying to please people who criticize and belittle you. Their behavior says more about them than it does about you.

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10. You Always Feel Tension Around Them.

Feeling tension and discomfort around people who dislike us is a common human experience. It can be difficult to navigate such situations, as negative energy can create a hostile environment.

One reason for this tension is our instinct to seek acceptance and approval from others. When someone dislikes us, it goes against our innate need for social connections. We may feel a sense of rejection or inadequacy, which can lead to heightened anxiety and stress when in their presence.

Negative interactions with people who dislike us can also trigger our fight-or-flight response. Our bodies may go into a state of heightened alertness, preparing us to defend ourselves or escape a threatening situation. This physiological response can further contribute to our tension around these individuals.

Moreover, negative emotions projected by others can be contagious. When we are exposed to someone’s dislike or hostility, it can affect our emotional well-being. Their negative energy may seep into our thoughts and feelings, causing us to mirror or internalize their animosity. This can intensify the tension we experience, making it difficult to remain calm and composed.

It’s important to remember that not everyone will like us, and that’s okay. People have preferences, biases, and insecurities that shape their perceptions of others. It’s crucial not to take their dislike personally or allow it to define our self-worth.

When we encounter individuals who dislike us, it can be helpful to focus on fostering positive relationships with those who appreciate and support us. Surrounding ourselves with people who value and respect us can counterbalance the negativity and tension we may experience in other interactions.

How to Confront Someone About Their Unspoken Feelings Towards You

How to Confront Someone About Their Unspoken Feelings Towards You
How to Confront Someone About Their Unspoken Feelings Towards You

If you suspect someone secretly dislikes you, the only way to know for sure is to address it directly in a constructive way.

Privately and calmly speak to them about their recent behavior and check if everything is okay between you. Be specific by mentioning a few examples of things they’ve said or done that gave you this impression, without accusation. Say you value your relationship and want to clear the air.

Give them a chance to respond and listen with an open mind. Their feedback may surprise you, or it could confirm your concerns. Either way, you’ll gain clarity and be able to move forward appropriately. Whether the issue gets resolved, you’ll feel better having been open, honest, and courteous. This mature approach to communicating unspoken feelings is the healthiest way to confront someone while caring for yourself.

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So there you have it: 10 not-so-subtle signs that someone in your life probably doesn’t like you. The good news is that now that you can spot the signs, you’re in a better position. You can address issues head-on to try and improve the relationship, or you can choose to distance yourself. Either way, the forewarned is the forearmed.

At least now you know the truth, and you can stop second-guessing yourself or making excuses for their behavior. Knowledge is power, and now this knowledge is in your hands. What you choose to do with it is up to you! But don’t say we didn’t warn you.


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