The Unfair Advantage is about stealing kind of one of the root causes of success that isn’t spoken about and that’s essentially that life isn’t a level playing field. Everybody has different strengths and weaknesses inherently, that’s number one anyway. But number two, circumstances are different.
Hassan Kubba, Co-Author of ‘The Unfair Advantage’
So, people have access to the network, to finance, or the right location, the right timing.
The Exhaustion of Competing in a Loud World
(Italicized or bolded, but unnumbered)
There’s a particular kind of tiredness that doesn’t come from lack of sleep.
It comes from the pressure to keep up.
You wake up each day already behind.
You scroll through stories of people launching businesses, landing dream jobs, building personal brands.
And somewhere between their wins and your to-do list, a familiar ache returns.
Why does it seem so easy for them?
What are they doing that I’m not?
Am I just not enough?
No one says it out loud, but the silent competition is everywhere.
In careers. In creativity. In love. Even in healing.
It’s no longer enough to grow—we’re expected to outperform, outshine, and outlast.
We’re told that success comes from hard work, grit, and consistency.
And you’ve tried. You’ve pushed. You’ve stretched yourself thin.
But the results aren’t matching the effort. The noise keeps getting louder.
And you’re left wondering: Is it me? Am I just not cut out for this?
But here’s something the world rarely talks about:
Success isn’t only about effort. It’s about alignment.
Some people seem to accelerate not because they’re working harder,
but because they’ve tapped into something unique to them—
a hidden edge that quietly multiplies their progress.
They’ve found their unfair advantage.
And it’s not luck.
It’s not cheating.
It’s not something you have to fake.
It’s something real. Something personal. Something already living within you—
but buried beneath all the pressure to be like everyone else.
Before you burn out chasing a path that was never yours to begin with,
Let’s take a breath. Let’s pause the noise. And let’s explore what you’ve had all along—your own unfair advantage. Because the goal isn’t to compete harder. It’s to compete differently.
What Is an Unfair Advantage? (And Why It’s Not a Dirty Word)
When you hear the phrase “unfair advantage,” it might feel a little uncomfortable at first.
It sounds like something sneaky—like cutting the line or getting ahead without earning it.
But that’s not what it is.
Your unfair advantage is simply the thing that gives you a natural edge.
It’s the combination of who you are, where you come from, what you’ve experienced, and how you see the world.
It’s not necessarily something you worked for—but it’s still something you get to work with. It can be defines as a personal trait, resource, or circumstance that gives you a natural edge—something others can’t easily replicate or compete with. It’s not necessarily something you earned, but it’s something you can leverage.
This could be anything from your upbringing, education, emotional intelligence, timing, personality traits, or even the obstacles you’ve faced and overcome.
It’s “unfair” only in the sense that not everyone has it—and that’s precisely what makes it powerful.
In cognitive psychology and behavioral science, we know that people don’t all start from the same point.
Some people have:
- Faster pattern recognition (fluid intelligence)
- Stronger working memory
- Higher levels of openness or conscientiousness (Big Five personality traits)
- Access to early mentorship or environments that promote growth
- Cultural capital that helps them navigate complex systems more easily
These differences compound over time and shape how people succeed—not just how hard they work.
That’s why two people can put in the same amount of effort and get very different results.
Recognizing your unfair advantage means understanding what gives you leverage—psychologically, socially, or structurally.
Let’s be specific. These are not abstract traits—they’re real-world advantages that many successful people build their careers around:
| Type | Example | Why It’s an Advantage? |
| Background | Growing up around business owners | Builds early intuition others must learn later |
| Personality | High emotional intelligence | Enables better leadership, negotiation, empathy |
| Trauma-to-growth | Surviving hardship and building resilience | Creates mental toughness and adaptability |
| Skills | Bilingual or bicultural fluency | Enables communication across diverse markets |
| Environment | Living in a tech hub or startup ecosystem | Faster access to innovation, networks, funding |
| Network | Having connections in a high-value field | Opens doors others spend years knocking on |
| Neurodiversity | ADHD channeled into hyperfocus for creative work | Boosts innovation in non-linear fields |
Examples of Unfair Advantages
Notice: these advantages are not always obvious. Some come from adversity. Some are passive. Some are developed over time. But they all become “unfair” in the sense that they create momentum others struggle to match.
Why It’s Not About Cheating?
There’s a common resistance to this concept—many people feel it’s unfair to acknowledge advantages. But ignoring reality doesn’t make it more fair. In fact, acknowledging your edge helps you:
- Stop wasting time trying to be good at everything
- Focus on areas where you’re naturally more effective
- Build confidence by working with yourself, not against
It’s not about arrogance or luck.
It’s about strategic self-awareness.
Summary: Your unfair advantage is the intersection of what makes you unique and what gives you leverage. It’s not something you fake—it’s something you uncover, accept, and apply.
Why We Overlook Our Unfair Advantage
Most people struggle to identify their unfair advantage not because they don’t have one—but because they’ve learned to ignore or undervalue it. This isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a combination of psychological patterns and social conditioning that shape how we view ourselves.
Let’s break down the most common reasons:
1. Psychological Blind Spots: We Minimize What Comes Naturally to Us
One of the biggest reasons we overlook our unfair advantage is the “curse of knowledge.” Once we become good at something—or grow up with a certain trait or experience—we tend to assume it’s normal or not valuable.
For example, someone who’s highly organized may not recognize it as a skill because it’s second nature to them.
But from the outside, it’s a strength others admire and often lack.
This tendency to normalize our abilities leads us to underestimate what sets us apart.
2. The Comparison Trap: We Assume Someone Else’s Path Is the Standard
Social comparison is a natural human behavior, but it often leads us in the wrong direction.
When we see others succeeding in a particular way—whether through public speaking, content creation, or building a brand—we may assume that’s the way to succeed. We start mimicking strategies that don’t align with our natural strengths, wasting time and energy in the process.
Instead of identifying what works for us, we try to fit into someone else’s model.
The result? We become disconnected from our own edge—and frustrated when their strategies don’t work for us.
3. Social Conditioning: We’re Taught to Devalue Our Uniqueness
Many people grow up in environments where being different isn’t encouraged. Whether it’s through family, culture, or education, we often learn to blend in rather than stand out.
Over time, this leads to downplaying the very traits that could become unfair advantages—like creativity, curiosity, sensitivity, or independence.
In particular, individuals from underrepresented groups are often conditioned to avoid drawing attention to themselves. As a result, strengths that come from lived experience are left unclaimed and unused.
4. Trend Chasing: We Follow What’s Popular Instead of What Fits
In fast-moving spaces like business, self-improvement, or content creation, there’s constant pressure to follow what’s currently working for others. But just because something is trending doesn’t mean it suits your strengths, background, or values.
Chasing trends without self-awareness leads to burnout and discouragement—not progress.
The more we look outward, the less we understand what makes us effective in our own right.
Most people miss their unfair advantage because they’re looking in the wrong direction. It’s not out there—it’s already part of who you are. You just haven’t learned to see it as valuable yet.
The MILES Framework: 5 Paths to Unfair Advantage
To make the concept of unfair advantage more practical, Ash Ali and Hasan Kubba introduced the MILES Framework in their book The Unfair Advantage: How You Already Have What It Takes to Succeed.
MILES stands for five key sources of leverage that often give people an edge—consciously or unconsciously—in life, business, and personal growth. The idea is simple:
You don’t need to have all five. Even one strong advantage can change the way you move forward.
Let’s break them down:
M — Money
Money provides access. It allows for experimentation, reduces risk, and shortens the learning curve.
- If you have financial support, you can afford to take bigger risks.
- If you don’t—but have learned to stretch limited resources—you may have developed exceptional creativity, problem-solving, or resilience. That’s also an advantage.
The presence or absence of money shapes mindset, decision-making, and opportunity.
I — Intelligence and Insight
This doesn’t refer to IQ alone. It includes:
- Cognitive intelligence (problem-solving, learning speed)
- Emotional intelligence (empathy, communication, leadership)
- Lived insight (perspective gained through real-world experience)
For example, someone who’s grown up navigating complex family dynamics might be naturally skilled in reading people or defusing tension—valuable in any leadership or team setting.
Intelligence isn’t just about what you know—it’s how you process, apply, and adapt.
L — Location and Luck
Where you’re born, where you live, and who you’re surrounded by can play a big role in shaping your opportunities.
- Living in a major city may provide faster access to networking, jobs, or trends.
- Being part of the right environment (even online) can expose you to new ideas and collaborations.
- And yes—luck does play a role in most success stories. But the key is recognizing when luck shows up and knowing how to use it.
Location and timing often act as silent accelerators—or barriers.
E — Education and Expertise
This includes both formal education and self-taught knowledge.
- Do you have a degree or certification others trust?
- Have you developed mastery in a specific field through practice and lived experience?
Sometimes, education gives you credentials. Other times, deep life experience creates an edge in ways traditional paths can’t.
Expertise is about depth, not titles. If people come to you for a specific insight, you likely have a form of expertise worth owning.
S — Status
Status refers to how others perceive you—based on identity, story, brand, or social proof.
- You may have a recognizable name, role, or platform.
- You may belong to a community or identity group that adds credibility in certain spaces.
- Or, your personal story may resonate deeply and create connection or trust with others.
Status can be visible (followers, reputation, credentials) or subtle (trust, relatability, presence).
It’s not always earned—but it often influences outcomes.
Most people don’t have all five MILES advantages. That’s normal. What matters is identifying which one or two you already have—and learning to use them effectively, instead of ignoring them or trying to be strong in areas that don’t come naturally.
Understanding your MILES gives you direction.
How to Find Your Unfair Advantage: 5 Deep Prompts
Now that you understand what an unfair advantage is—and how it can shape your direction—it’s time to turn inward.
This isn’t about rushing to label yourself. It’s about paying attention to patterns you’ve probably ignored for years.
Below are five prompts designed to help you uncover your unique edge. These are not quick-answer questions. They require honesty, time, and sometimes, revisiting uncomfortable truths or overlooked strengths.
You can use these for journaling, self-reflection, or even in conversation with someone who knows you well.
1. What do I do easily that others find difficult or confusing?
This is often the clearest signal of an unfair advantage—something that comes naturally to you but drains or challenges others.
Examples:
- Explaining complex topics in simple terms
- Staying calm in a crisis
- Building trust quickly with new people
- Making fast, intuitive decisions
This isn’t about ego. It’s about identifying areas where you have built-in leverage, even if you’ve never labeled it as a skill.
2. What life experience permanently changed the way I see things?
Not all advantages are pleasant. Some come from adversity, trauma, or unexpected shifts that forced growth.
Ask yourself:
- What have I been through that others might not understand?
- What perspective did I gain that I wouldn’t have otherwise?
- What lessons do I carry that aren’t taught in schools or books?
These experiences shape emotional intelligence, resilience, and insight—key unfair advantages in leadership, relationships, and creative work.
3. Where have I been praised or trusted—even when I wasn’t trying to stand out?
We often brush off compliments or recognition, especially when they come easily.
Think back:
- When have others relied on you consistently?
- What do people often thank you for?
- What do colleagues, friends, or even strangers say you’re “really good at”?
These repeated affirmations often reflect strengths that feel ordinary to you—but valuable to others.
4. What resource, skill, or relationship have I taken for granted?
We sometimes miss our advantage because it’s been around for so long, we no longer see it.
Consider:
- Do you have access to a mentor, community, or network that others don’t?
- Have you developed a skill that’s become second nature—but once took effort to build?
- Are you fluent in more than one language? Technologically skilled? Adaptable to new cultures?
Anything that gives you access, speed, or trust—even if it’s quiet—is worth naming.
5. When do I feel most like myself—and most capable?
This question cuts to the heart of sustainable success. It’s not just about what you can do, but what you can do without draining your energy or identity.
Reflect on:
- What type of work makes you lose track of time?
- What environments bring out your best thinking or leadership?
- When do you feel both confident and calm—not performing, but fully present?
That alignment is a signal. Your unfair advantage likely lives there.
Final Note: Go Slow, Be Honest. This process isn’t about finding something impressive. It’s about finding something real. The more honestly you answer, the more clarity you’ll gain—not just about your advantage, but about where to invest your energy from here on out.
Real-Life Examples of Unfair Advantages in Action
Understanding the concept of unfair advantage is one thing—seeing it applied is what makes it stick.
Here are three real-world-inspired examples that show how people turned personal circumstances, traits, or challenges into strategic assets:
1. The Dyslexic Founder Who Built a Visual-First Product
Mark was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child. Reading and writing never came easily, and traditional learning environments often left him behind. But what he lacked in verbal processing, he made up for in spatial reasoning and visual thinking.
Years later, instead of trying to “fix” his dyslexia, he leaned into it. He founded a tech startup that developed a highly visual project management tool—one that replaced long task lists with intuitive drag-and-drop features, color-coding, and visual timelines.
Today, thousands of teams use the platform, many of whom say they finally understand their own workflow because of how visually clear the system is.
His unfair advantage? A different way of processing information—turned into a product that helped others like him.
2. The Refugee Who Turned Cultural Fluency into a Speaking Career
Leila arrived in a new country as a teenager, speaking broken English and carrying the weight of starting over. In the beginning, every social and academic situation felt like a test. But over time, she developed a rare ability: she could navigate between cultures, adapt quickly, and make people from vastly different backgrounds feel heard and understood.
Years later, she became a public speaker, sharing insights on diversity, cross-cultural leadership, and inclusive communication. Her voice stood out not just for her story, but for her ability to connect across differences.
Her unfair advantage? Lived experience as an outsider, which became a deep well of insight and emotional intelligence.
3. The Stay-at-Home Mom Who Turned Her Routines into a Coaching Business
When Maya left her job to raise her children, she assumed her professional identity was on pause. But in managing a household, she became an expert in time-blocking, task delegation, and emotional labor. Friends began asking how she kept things running so smoothly.
Eventually, she began sharing her strategies online. What started as a personal blog became a coaching business for other overwhelmed parents. Today, she runs workshops and one-on-one programs helping people organize their time, manage their energy, and build systems that actually work.
Her unfair advantage? Mastery of invisible labor—transformed into a teachable, high-value skillset.
Remember It’s not just about talent. It’s about turning what you already have into something intentional.
None of these people waited to become “the best” in a traditional sense. They used what was already part of their story—what made them different, not perfect—and built something around it.
How to Use Your Unfair Advantage Without Guilt or Comparison
Recognizing your unfair advantage is only the first step. The next, often harder, step is using it confidently—without feeling guilty or falling into the trap of comparison.
1. Understand that Everyone Has Advantages
One of the biggest sources of guilt or imposter feelings is the misconception that others have it all “fair” or “earned,” while you somehow don’t deserve your edge.
Psychologically, this is a form of impostor syndrome, which makes people downplay their own skills or achievements (Clance & Imes, 1978).
Remember: everyone has advantages—some visible, some invisible. Yours are simply yours.
2. Focus on Leveraging, Not Competing
Your unfair advantage is about working smarter, not harder or harder to beat others.
Instead of trying to copy what others do, focus on how your unique combination of skills, experiences, and traits can open doors in ways no one else can replicate.
This mindset shift is supported by self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000), which shows that intrinsic motivation—working from your authentic strengths—leads to greater satisfaction and persistence.
3. Reframe Comparison as Inspiration, Not Judgment
It’s natural to notice others’ success. Instead of measuring yourself against their paths, treat their achievements as information.
Ask:
- What can I learn from them?
- How is their journey different from mine?
- How can I adapt insights without copying?
This reframing reduces anxiety and supports growth mindset thinking (Dweck, 2006).
4. Set Boundaries Around Energy and Focus
Using your unfair advantage means recognizing where you’re naturally aligned—and where you’re not.
Psychological research on flow states (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990) shows that people perform best when they focus on tasks that match their strengths and values.
Protect your energy by saying “no” to projects or paths that don’t connect with your advantage, and say “yes” to what allows you to shine authentically.
Closing: Don’t Stop Playing the Game. Change the Field.
It’s easy to get caught up trying to win someone else’s race—using their rules, following their timeline, chasing their definition of success. But here’s the truth:
Your unfair advantage isn’t about catching up or fitting in. It’s the starting point of your own path.
Instead of exhausting yourself competing on crowded, noisy fields, ask:
What game am I really meant to play?
What unique space can I create where my strengths matter most?
Your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. It shouldn’t.
You’re not falling behind. You’re just not playing your game yet.
The moment you stop trying to be someone else and lean fully into your unfair advantage—that’s when progress becomes not only possible but inevitable.
Sources & Further Reading
- What Makes People Successful?
- What Makes Someone Successful? by Harshal Murkute
- What is the most unfair advantage a person can have? by – Mauricio Alas
- Eide, B. L., & Eide, F. F. (2011). The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain.
- Shaywitz, S. E. (1998). Dyslexia. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(5), 307-312.
- Benet-Martínez, V., Leu, J., Lee, F., & Morris, M. W. (2006). Negotiating biculturalism: Cultural frame switching in biculturals with oppositional versus compatible cultural identities. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 37(5), 742-762.
- Nguyen, A.-M. D., & Benet-Martínez, V. (2013). Biculturalism and adjustment: A meta-analysis. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 44(1), 122-159.
- Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
- Brackett, M. A., Rivers, S. E., & Salovey, P. (2011). Emotional intelligence: Implications for personal, social, academic, and workplace success. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 88-103.
- Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241-247.
- Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “What” and “Why” of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227-268.
- Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
- Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.
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