You know that feeling when someone says or does something that makes you want to crawl in a hole? We’ve all been there. Maybe a so-called friend posted an embarrassing photo of you online or made a snarky comment about your clothes or hair. Or perhaps a teacher called you out in front of the whole class for not knowing an answer. Whatever the case, being humiliated is the worst. In moments like those, it’s easy to feel small and worthless when you’re really anything but. The truth? That person’s petty opinion doesn’t determine your value. You’re smarter and kinder than their actions suggest.
This article will help you see that you’re better than their words and opinions. It will give you tips to brush off humiliation and remind yourself how awesome you are, no matter what others do or say.
Table of Contents
The Sting of Humiliation

Being humiliated stings like no other. When someone puts you down or makes you feel worthless, it hits at the core of your self-esteem. The hurtful words replay in your mind as you question your own worth. How do you move on from such a crushing experience?
- Remember, their opinion says more about them. How people treat you is a reflection of them, not you. Do not internalize their cruelty or make it about your self-worth.
- Their words have power over you only if you give them power. Do not dwell on their insults or put stock in their negative views. Shift your mindset, and do not allow their unkindness to define how you see yourself.
- Surround yourself with your supporters. Connecting with people who love and appreciate you can help lift you up after being torn down. Talk to trusted friends and family members who can remind you of your best qualities and strengths. Let their compassion drown out the echoes of humiliation.
- Do something to boost your confidence. Engage in an activity that helps you feel good about yourself again like exercising, pursuing a hobby, or doing an act of kindness. Take back your power by focusing on the things that make you, you.
- Forgive but do not forget. Holding onto resentment and anger will only make you feel worse in the long run. Forgive the other person for their cruelty, not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace. However, do not put yourself in a position to be hurt by them again.
With time and conscious effort, the sting of humiliation will fade. Do not give anyone the power to diminish your light or make you feel less. You know your own worth, and no unkindness can take that away unless you allow it. Rise above their contempt, and never forget your inherent value. Their opinion is not your truth. You are so much greater than any humiliation.
How Humiliation Impacts Your Self-Esteem

When someone humiliates you, it can shake your self-esteem and confidence to the core. Their cruel words and actions make you question your own worth and value. But their opinion of you does not define who you are. You are so much more than their hurtful insults.
Humiliation often stems from the humiliator’s own insecurities and issues. Their put-downs say more about them than about you. Try not to internalize their toxicity. Do not let their message become your inner voice. Their view is not the ultimate truth-it’s just their flawed perception. You are a complex, multi-dimensional human being. No one can reduce you to a single humiliating experience.
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Remind yourself of the good you add to the world. Do not let one person’s attack cancel out all the positive qualities and relationships in your life. Talk to others who love and support you. Let their caring voices drown out that one cruel voice.
Do small things each day to rebuild your self-confidence from the inside out. Exercise, pursue hobbies, and journal your feelings. Take a step toward a goal or dream. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Speak to yourself with encouragement and praise, not criticism.
While the sting of humiliation may linger for a while, keep in mind that this discomfort is only temporary. The person who humiliated you has not robbed you of your worth; they have only revealed their own flaws and inner demons. You remain in control of your self-esteem and identity. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are, and work on being that self-loving person for yourself.
In time, the humiliation will fade, but the knowledge of your own strength and resilience will endure. You are so much better than their opinion. You always have been, and you always will be.
The Short-Term Effects of Humiliation
Being humiliated can have significant short-term effects on you physically and emotionally. The stress and embarrassment will probably leave you feeling awful for a while.
Shock and Disbelief At first, you may feel stunned or shocked that someone would intentionally embarrass or degrade you like that. Your mind races as you replay the events over and over, not quite believing they really happened. This can make it hard to think clearly or respond in the moment.
Anxiety and Distress Anxiety, stress, and distress are common reactions after being humiliated. Your body goes into “Tight or flight” mode, releasing stress hormones like cortisol that speed up your heart rate and breathing. You may feel panicked or worried about what comes next. These feelings of angst and uneasiness can linger for hours or days.
Anger and Resentment Once the initial shock wears off, anger and resentment may start to bubble up. You may feel angry with the person who humiliated you and resentful of the power they had over you in that moment. These negative emotions can consume your thoughts and make it difficult to move past them.
Low Self-Esteem Being put down or degraded by someone else can have a negative impact on your self-esteem and confidence. You may doubt yourself or your abilities and feel worthless or like a failure. Questioning your own self-worth is a damaging effect of humiliation that requires effort and time to repair.
The impacts of humiliation are real and can be physically, emotionally and psychologically painful. Be gentle with yourself during this time. Know that the distressing feelings will become more manageable, your confidence and self-worth will be restored, and the memory of the event will fade. The humiliation may have been out of your control, but your recovery and healing are within your power. You’ve got this!
The Long-Term Impacts of Humiliation
Being humiliated can shake you to your core and leave deep wounds. Though the initial sting may fade, the effects can persist for a long time. It’s important to recognize these long-term impacts so you can start the process of healing.
The experience of humiliation can damage your self-esteem and confidence. When someone puts you down or makes you feel foolish, it can make you question your own worth and abilities. You may doubt yourself in new situations or with new people. But remember, their cruel words say more about them, not you. Focus on your strengths and past successes to rebuild your confidence from the inside out.
Feelings of anger, resentment, and betrayal are also common after being humiliated. You may feel angry with the person who hurt you, as well as frustrated with yourself. While these feelings are normal, holding onto resentment will only make you feel worse in the long run. Practice self-care, surround yourself with supportive people, and work on being forgiving—not because the other person deserves it, but because you deserve peace. Letting go of anger and resentment will help you move on.
Being humiliated can also make you feel isolated and wary of connecting with others. You may be hesitant to open up to people or trust them in the future. But don’t let one bad experience stop you from building fulfilling relationships. Not everyone will hurt you like that. Connecting to others who treat you with kindness and respect will help combat feelings of isolation over time.
The impacts of humiliation may be long-lasting, but they are not permanent. By recognizing them and taking steps to heal, you can overcome the hurt, rebuild your confidence, and find greater peace and happiness. Their cruel actions do not define you – you define you. And with time and effort, you can move past their hurtful words.
Signs You Are Being Humiliated

When someone aims to humiliate you, their goal is to make you feel small or worthless. Unfortunately, it can happen to any of us at some point. The good news is, their opinion says more about them, and you don’t have to take the bait.
If someone treats you with disrespect or contempt in front of others, that’s a major red flag. It could be a co-worker who frequently interrupts or talks over you in meetings. Maybe it’s a family member who brings up your past mistakes during get-togethers. When others witness this behavior, it’s meant to diminish your status. Don’t engage them or make excuses for them. Stay calm and remove yourself from the situation.
Another sign is if someone frequently criticizes or judges you in an unreasonable way. Their comments are often exaggerated or nitpicky, targeting your perceived flaws and weaknesses. They may even disguise insults as “jokes” to make you feel small while allowing them to maintain denial. Don’t accept their criticism – it says more about their need to put you down.
If someone shares private or embarrassing information about you without your consent, that is a violating act aimed at humiliating you. Gossiping and spreading rumors are tactics used to damage your reputation and relationships. Don’t engage or retaliate. Address it directly with the person, if you feel comfortable, and set clear boundaries. Their loose lips are not a reflection on you.
You may feel ashamed or question your own worth due to their behavior. But remember, their opinion does not define your value. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you. Don’t give anyone permission to make you feel less than. You deserve to feel empowered and dignified. Stay focused on nurturing yourself rather than wasting energy on those who seek to humiliate you. Your worth remains intact, no matter what others say or do. You’re better than their opinion.
Why People Humiliate Others

People who try to humiliate others are usually dealing with their own issues and insecurities. Their hurtful actions say more about them than they do about you. Here are some common reasons why people may try to humiliate others:
- They feel powerless in some area of their life, so they put others down to feel more in control and powerful. Don’t give them that power over you.
- They have low self-esteem, and humiliating others makes them feel better about themselves by comparison. This is a poor strategy that won’t address the root cause of their self-doubt
- They lack empathy and don’t consider how their words and actions affect others. Some people can be oblivious to the impact of their cruelty and humiliation on their targets.
- They feel threatened by you in some way, so they try to make themselves feel bigger by making you feel small. Their insults say more about their own insecurities than your perceived flaws or shortcomings.
- They were humiliated or abused themselves at some point, so this behavior seems normal to them. While this may explain their actions, it doesn’t excuse them. Break the cycle by not engaging in the same hurtful behavior.
The reasons why people humiliate and put down others are complex. But at the end of the day, their actions reflect poorly on them, not you. Do not give their words power over you or change how you see yourself. Surround yourself with people who love and support you, focus on your positive qualities, and work on building confidence from the inside out. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than that.
Responding Versus Reacting to Humiliating Situations

When someone humiliates or insults you, it can be difficult not to react negatively in the moment. However, responding thoughtfully is the healthiest approach. Reacting aggressively will likely only make the situation worse and cause further damage.
Stay calm and think before responding Take a few deep breaths to help lower your heart rate and blood pressure. Count to 10 slowly if needed. This will make you appear more confident and in control, rather than reactive or irrational. Think about the intent behind the other person’s words and determine the best way to respond in a constructive manner.
Do not engage or argue Do not argue, insult them back, or engage in hostility. This will likely only escalate the conflict and leave you feeling worse later on. Respond in a neutral, matter-of-fact tone if possible. Say something simple like “I see” or do not respond at all. Walk away from the situation if you feel you may react in anger. Come back to the discussion once you’ve cooled off and can have a respectful dialogue.
Focus on the other person’s behavior, not your worth Do not internalize the insults or let them impact your self-esteem. The other person’s cruelty says more about them and their poor character or emotional state than it does about you. Do not give them power over how you view your own worth or value. Respond with empathy and remember that hurt people often hurt other people.
Address it respectfully if needed If the situation calls for a response to stand up for yourself or clarify misunderstandings, do so respectfully. Calmly and confidently explain how the other person’s words made you feel and the impact their behavior had. Be open to listening to their perspective as well. The goal should be to have a constructive conversation, not prove who is right or wrong. Focus on using “T” statements, speaking your truth, and appealing to the other person’s better nature.
With practice, staying calm and thoughtful in humiliating situations will become second nature. Do not give others power over your self-worth, but stand up for yourself with empathy and respect. Choose to respond rather than react for the healthiest approach.
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How to Respond in the Moment When Someone Humiliates You

When someone humiliates you, the way you respond in that moment matters. It can be difficult to stay calm, but reacting angrily or aggressively will likely only make the situation worse. Take a few deep breaths and try to remain composed. Focus on these strategies:
- Don’t engage or argue. As hard as it may be, avoid escalating the conflict by insulting them back or starting a shouting match. Stay calm and don’t engage.
- Stand up for yourself confidently. You can say something like “that was rude” or “there’s no need for insults.” Keep your tone even and firm without aggression. You don’t have to remain silent, but don’t attack them in return.
- Remove yourself from the situation. If the person continues to berate or insult you, walk away. You don’t have to subject yourself to abuse, so remove yourself to a safe space where you can process what happened.
- Connect with your support network. Call a friend or family member and talk to them about what happened. Let others who care about you support you in staying confident in who you are. Their insults say more about them than you.
- Reframe their opinion. Try not to internalize their hurtful words. Their opinion is not fact, so work to reframe it in your mind as an reflection of their issues, not your worth or value. You know who you are – don’t let their cruelty make you question yourself.
Staying calm and confident in these situations can be challenging, but with practice, it gets easier. Remember that you decide your self-worth, not them. Do not engage or escalate the conflict, but stand up for yourself, remove yourself if needed, and rely on your support network. Ultimately, their humiliation says more about them, not you. You’ve got this!
Building Resilience and Self-Confidence
When someone humiliates you, it can shake your self-confidence and leave you questioning your own worth. Their cruel words and actions say more about them, though, than they do about you. You have so much amazingness within you, no matter what anyone else says or does.
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Make a list of your best qualities, skills, and achievements to remind yourself of your inherent value. Don’t let one person’s opinion define your self- worth.
Surround yourself with your supporters. Call a friend or family member who loves and supports you. Let them know what happened and how it made you feel. Hearing from people who care about you can help balance out the negativity. Their kindness and encouragement will help lift you back up.
Don’t engage or argue. As hard as it may be, remain calm and do not engage or argue with the person who humiliated you. Reacting will likely only make the situation worse and provoke them further. Remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
Do small acts of self-care. Exercise, do yoga, garden, cook, read, or pursue a hobby that you find meaningful. Take a bath, get a massage, or do deep breathing. Acts of self-care release feel-good hormones that combat stress and boost confidence and self-esteem.
With time and practice, you can build resilience in the face of humiliation. Developing self-confidence from within will make you less vulnerable to the words and actions of others. You are so much more than what anyone says about you. Believe in yourself, and surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. Their support and kindness will help you move on from cruelty and find strength in who you are.
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Building Your Self-Worth
When someone humiliates or insults you, it can feel like your self-worth takes a massive hit. But the truth is, their words say more about them than about you. Your worth isn’t defined by their opinion- it’s defined by you.
- Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Make a list of the things you’re good at and the achievements you’re proud of. Your talents, skills, and wins are what really matter.
- Don’t dwell on their insults. The more you ruminate on their hurtful words, the more power you give them. Take a few deep breaths and try to shift your mind to something positive. Their insults alone don’t have the power to diminish your self-worth.
- Set boundaries. You don’t have to engage with someone who is insulting or humiliating you. Walk away from the interaction and limit contact with them when possible. Don’t feel obligated to remain in a situation where you’re being devalued or disrespected.
- Talk to others who love and support you. Connecting with close family and friends can help reinforce your worth. Let them remind you of your best qualities and all the reasons why you’re valued. Their kind words can help neutralize the effect of any cruel insults.
- Forgive yourself for any mistakes and move on. If you did something to prompt the insults, forgive yourself and use it as an opportunity to learn. Don’t give their words more power by endlessly regretting any errors. Make amends if needed, then shift your focus back to the present.
Your worth isn’t defined by the opinion of someone trying to humiliate you. Stay focused on your own self-belief and surround yourself with people who love you. Their cruel words may sting in the moment, but the pain will fade. Your true self-worth remains intact. You’re so much better than their insults and humiliation—you always have been.
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Learning to Let Go of Shame
When someone humiliates you, it’s normal to feel ashamed, but you don’t have to let their words define you. Their insults say more about them than about you. You have a choice in how you respond and whether or not you internalize their toxicity.
Step 1: Recognize that their opinion is not the truth. Just because someone says something cruel does not make it a fact. Their words are a reflection of their own issues, biases, and insecurities. Do not give their opinion power over how you see yourself.
Step 2 Do not engage or retaliate. Do not stoop to their level. Responding with hostility will likely only make you feel worse and damage your own self-respect. Walk away from the interaction as quickly as possible. Remove yourself from the situation to prevent further harm.
Step 3: Talk to others. Connecting with your support network can help lift you up and restore your confidence. Call a friend or family member and share what happened. Let them remind you of your best qualities and strengths. Their caring words can help neutralize the hurtful ones.
Step 4: Be kind to yourself. Do small things each day to rebuild your self-esteem, like exercising, meditating, or pursuing a hobby. Practice positive self-talk and remind yourself of your virtues, values, and accomplishments. You are so much more than what anyone says about you.
With time and conscious effort, the shame will fade. Do not dwell on what was said or ruminate on revenge. Take a deep breath and make the choice not to let their cruelty defeat you. You alone have the power to determine your worth. Let go of shame and instead nurture compassion for yourself. You deserve to be happy, and no one can take that away unless you let them.
Process Your Feelings afterwards
After being humiliated, it’s normal to feel a whirlwind of emotions. Allow yourself to fully experience them, then work to overcome their hold on you.
- Shock and disbelief. You may feel stunned that someone would treat you this way. Let the initial shock wear off before reacting.
- Embarrassment and shame. Feeling inadequate or foolish is a common reaction. Remind yourself that the other person’s cruelty says more about them, not you.
- Anger and resentment. It’s OK to feel angry towards the person who humiliated you.
However, try not to act out in anger or plot revenge. Those feelings will only make you feel worse in the long run.
- Sadness and hurt. Feeling sad or wounded shows you have compassion for yourself. Let yourself cry if you need to. Talk to others who care about you for comfort.
- Self-doubt. Don’t let one person’s insulting actions shake your own self-worth and confidence in who you are. Their insults say more about their character, not yours.
The intensity of these emotions will fade over time. Be patient with yourself through the process. The most important thing is focusing on rebuilding your self-esteem by:
- Reminding yourself of your good qualities and past accomplishments.
- Doing things you are good at and that boost your confidence.
- Spending time with people who appreciate you for who you are.
- Practicing self-care by exercising, journaling, or engaging in hobbies.
One person’s cruel act cannot take away your own self-worth unless you let it. Rise above their insults and humiliation by nurturing your inherent value and strength. In time, their words will hold no power over you.
Cultivating Compassion for Others
When someone insults or humiliates you, it’s normal to feel angry and hurt. However, reacting aggressively will likely only make the situation worse. Instead, try cultivating compassion. Remember that the other person’s cruelty says much more about them than it does about you.
- Look for signs this person may be struggling. Often, bullies act out due to their own pain, insecurities, or unhealthy environment. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but may help you feel less personally attacked.
- Respond with empathy and kindness. Say something like “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Your compassion may even help diffuse the situation. If not, remain calm and remove yourself from the interaction.
- Focus on your own self-worth. Don’t let their words diminish how you see yourself. You know your own truth. Their insults are a reflection of their issues, not yours.
- Surround yourself with your true supporters. Connecting with people who love and appreciate you will help reinforce your confidence from the inside out. Let their positivity drown out the naysayers.
The path to overcoming humiliation starts with you. Choose to meet cruelty with compassion, and remember that you alone get to determine your worth. While it may be difficult, make an effort to understand what is driving the other person’s behavior. Forgive them, wish them well, and turn your focus inward to nurturing self-love and self-respect. In the end, that is the ultimate remedy against humiliation.
Meeting cruelty with compassion is a skill that takes practice. But with time and conscious effort, you can cultivate the ability to remain calm in the face of humiliation, strengthen your self-worth from within, and even feel empathy for those who would try to tear you down. Focus on surrounding yourself with your true supporters, and work daily on nurturing self-love. In this way, you take away the power from those who would seek to humiliate you.
Surrounding Yourself With Positive People
When someone puts you down or makes you feel small, it can be hard to build yourself back up alone. That’s why surrounding yourself with a strong support system of positive people is so important. Their encouragement and kindness can help offset the hurtful words of others.
Lean on True Friends Connect with close friends who love and accept you unconditionally. Let them know what happened and how it made you feel. They can remind you of your good qualities and help lift your spirits. Spending time with people who appreciate you will make the humiliation sting less.
Avoid Negative Influences Minimize contact with people who often criticize, judge, or belittle you. Their pessimism will only make you feel worse and damage your self-esteem. Politely tell them you need some space until you feel better. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself.
Do Esteem-Building Activities Engage in hobbies and social interactions that boost your confidence from the inside out. Take a dance class. Join a sports league or book club. Volunteer for a good cause. Achieving small wins and connecting with like-minded people will help you feel valued and capable again.
Practice Self-Care It’s easy to dwell on cruel words, but shift your focus to self-care. Get some exercise which releases feel-good endorphins that improve your mood. Do yoga or deep breathing to relax your mind and body. Reflect on your strengths, talents, and accomplishments to maintain a balanced perspective. Be gentle with yourself — the hurt will lessen over time.
With the support of caring allies and by nurturing your own wellbeing, you can overcome humiliation. Let the opinions of others roll off your back. Know your worth isn’t defined by what anyone says or does–you’re so much greater than that. Surround yourself with positivity and stay strong in who you are.
The Power of Forgiveness

When someone hurts or humiliates you, forgiveness can feel impossible. However, forgiving them is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself.
It frees you from resentment.
Carrying around anger and resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It only hurts you, not them. Forgiving releases you from those destructive feelings so you can move on with your life.
It improves your mental health. Holding onto grudges and resentment causes stress and negatively impacts your well-being. Studies show forgiveness can decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression, and lead to greater peace of mind and happiness.
It allows you to move on. As long as you resent someone, they still have power over you. Forgiveness is about releasing that power and reclaiming your own freedom and happiness. When you forgive, you cut the emotional ties that bind you to the past and the person who hurt you.
It’s for you, not them. Forgiving someone who has hurt you does not excuse their actions or mean you have to reconcile with them. It means you are choosing to let go of the anger and resentment for your own benefit. Forgive because you deserve to be free, not because they deserve to be forgiven.
How to forgive:
- Accept what happened and acknowledge the hurt. This is the first step to releasing it.
- Understand that anger and resentment only hurt you. Forgiveness benefits you, not them.
- Make a conscious decision to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice you make, not a feeling.
- Wish them well. This helps shift your mindset and release negative feelings.
- Move on with your life. Dwelling on the past will only make you feel worse: Look toward the future instead.
Forgiving someone who has humiliated you or hurt you is one of the hardest things you can do. But it is also one of the most empowering and liberating acts of self-care. You deserve to let go of resentment and anger, and forgiveness is the path that can take you there.
Key Take Away
When someone humiliates you, it can shake your confidence and self-worth. Their cruel words and actions can cut deep, making you question yourself. But you have the power to bounce back from humiliation.
- Remember that their opinion says more about them. How people treat you is a reflection of them, not you. Do not let them diminish your self-esteem. Their insults cannot take away your inherent worth. -Stay calm and composed. Do not give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset. React with dignity and grace. Do not stoop to their level by insulting them back. Respond in a measured, respectful way or say nothing at all. Walk away confidently.
- Focus on your supporters. Surround yourself with people who love and appreciate you. Let their kindness lift you up and counter the humiliation. Talk to them about what happened so they can reassure you. Their support can help restore your confidence.
- Do not dwell on it. Replay the events over and over in your mind will only make you feel worse. Do not give the person who humiliated you power over you by obsessing about their cruelty. Shift your mind to more positive thoughts.
- Use the experience to grow stronger. Humiliation can be an opportunity to build resilience. Come out the other side wiser and tougher. Be proud of yourself for enduring it with courage and poise. You have overcome their attempt to demean you, and that is empowering.
Though the sting of humiliation may linger, know that it cannot diminish your true worth. Do not let anyone else’s opinion define you. You are stronger than their insults. Surround yourself with your supporters, keep your head high, and stay focused on your inherent value. In time, you will bounce back, wiser and more confident. Their cruelty will not defeat you. You have so much amazingness left to offer the world.
References
- From Forbes
- Why some people are cruel to others from BBC
- HUMILIATION
- Losing trust in the world: Humiliation and its consequences by Phil Leask*

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