Have you ever wondered why you hesitate to pursue a new opportunity or dream? Why do you feel unworthy or incapable of achieving your goals? The source of these doubts and fears is your limiting beliefs. They are the stories you tell yourself that hold you back from your true potential. But where do these limiting beliefs come from? They originate from your experiences, your environment, and the influences of people around you. Some were formed in childhood, while others developed over time through struggles and setbacks.
The good news is that, just as you learned these limiting beliefs, you can unlearn them. By understanding where they came from, you can start to break free of their constraints and reframe your mindset into one of growth and possibility.
Table of Contents
What Are Limiting Beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are those little voices in your head telling you that you can’t accomplish something or that you’re not good enough. They hold you back from achieving your full potential and living the life you want. Limiting beliefs often originate in childhood. Things like criticism from parents or teachers, bullying from peers, or a lack of encouragement can plant the seeds of self-doubt. As you get older, failures, rejections, and betrayals further reinforce those beliefs.
Before you know it, you’ve developed a fixed mindset. You believe you’re not smart enough or talented enough, so you don’t even bother trying. These beliefs then become self-fulfilling prophecies—you don’t achieve much because you never really give it your all.
The media and societal pressures also contribute to limiting beliefs. Constant images of “perfect” bodies, lavish lifestyles, and overnight success stories make you feel inadequate in comparison. You feel like you’ll never measure up, no matter how hard you work.
The good news is that limiting beliefs can be overcome. It starts with awareness—recognizing those negative voices and the impact they have on your life. Then, you need to challenge them with more constructive beliefs that open you up to new possibilities. Surround yourself with a strong support system of people who encourage your growth and cheer you on. Start small and celebrate milestones to build your confidence over time.
With work and perseverance, you can reframe your mindset and realize your true potential. Those old beliefs don’t have to limit you anymore; you have the power to choose new ones that set you free.
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Where do limiting beliefs come from?
Limiting beliefs are the assumptions or convictions that we hold about ourselves, others, or the world that prevent us from achieving our goals or living our full potential. They often originate from our past experiences, such as childhood traumas, negative feedback, or failures. They can also be influenced by our social environment, such as family, friends, media, or culture. Limiting beliefs can be hard to identify and change, but they are not fixed or permanent. We can challenge and overcome them by becoming more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions and by seeking evidence that contradicts our limiting beliefs.
1. Childhood Experiences That Lead to Limiting Beliefs
As children, we absorb beliefs about ourselves and the world like sponges. Many of the limiting beliefs we carry into adulthood stem from childhood experiences.
Messages from Parents and Caregivers
The messages we receive from parents and caregivers as children are extremely influential. If you were constantly told you “won’t amount to anything” or that you’re “not smart enough,” it’s likely those beliefs still haunt you today.
Lack of support or encouragement
If your gifts, talents, and interests weren’t nurtured as a child, you may have developed beliefs that you’re not good enough or that your dreams are unrealistic. The absence of support from those who were supposed to care for you can be profoundly damaging.
Traumatic Events
Painful events in childhood like loss, abuse, neglect, or bullying can also lead to lasting, limiting beliefs. If you went through a traumatic experience and didn’t receive proper support to process it, you may have internalized beliefs that you’re unlovable, unsafe, or insignificant.
The good news is that limiting beliefs formed in childhood can be overcome. It requires awareness of how these beliefs were developed, a willingness to challenge them, and the courage to adopt more empowering beliefs that will serve you well as an adult. Though it’s difficult work, releasing limiting beliefs from the past can be life-changing.
2. How Culture and Society Shape Our Beliefs
Our beliefs are shaped by the world around us, including the culture we grow up in and the society we live in. These external influences can instill limiting beliefs at an early age.
Family and community
The family and community you were raised in play a significant role in developing your belief system. If you grew up in an environment where higher education or certain careers were discouraged, you may have adopted beliefs that limit your potential. The expectations and messages you received as a child can stay with you for life.
Social norms and stereotypes
Society and the media also promote certain beliefs, values, and stereotypes that we then internalize. For example, if women are portrayed primarily as homemakers and men as breadwinners, these stereotypical gender roles can become limiting beliefs. Social norms that dictate how people “should” behave or what they can achieve can constrain someone’s sense of possibility.
Education System
Even schools and education systems transmit beliefs to students, both directly and indirectly. Certain subjects or skills may be emphasized over others, limiting students’ exposure. Teachers and mentors can also instill beliefs in their students through the messages they convey, whether implicitly or explicitly.
The beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world originate from the interactions between our innate tendencies and life experiences. By understanding how culture and society have shaped your beliefs over the years, you gain awareness and power. You can then start to evaluate which beliefs are serving you and deliberately cultivate new ones that will help you reach your full potential. The beliefs passed down to you are not necessarily the beliefs you need to hold onto for life. You have a choice.
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3. The Role of Trauma and Adversity
Traumatic events and adversity in childhood can be major contributors to limiting beliefs. When we experience trauma at a young age, our brains are still developing. This can wire our neural pathways to expect threats and hardship.
The brain’s response to trauma. When traumatic events happen, our brains go into survival mode. The amygdala, which is responsible for emotional processing and threat detection, becomes hyperactive. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logical reasoning and judgment, is impaired. This makes it hard to properly assess the situation and differentiate between real threats and perceived ones.
Over time, these survival mechanisms become the default, even when there are no real threats present. This can manifest as anxiety, hypervigilance, and pessimistic beliefs about oneself and the world. Childhood trauma, abuse, loss, or neglect often shapes core beliefs about worthiness, safety, and trust that endure into adulthood.
How Trauma Leads to Limiting Beliefs
Painful events in childhood teach us unfortunate lessons that become the foundation for the limits we place on ourselves.
- I am unlovable. Children need love and affection to develop a healthy sense of self-worth and belonging. Trauma can lead to the belief that one is somehow unworthy or undeserving of love.
- The world is unsafe. When children experience danger, violence, or instability in their environment, they learn to see the world as threatening and unpredictable. This breeds the belief that happiness and success are fleeting or out of reach.
- I have no control. Traumatic events that leave children feeling helpless and powerless lead to the belief that they have little agency or influence over their lives. This erodes self-efficacy and the ability to overcome challenges.
- I am not good enough. Harsh criticism, a lack of praise, or emotional neglect teach children that they do not measure up. They internalize the message that they are somehow defective or that they will never be good enough.
The good news is that, with work, limiting beliefs established in childhood can be rewritten. Awareness of their origins is the first step to developing a healthier and more empowering perspective.
4. How Media and Social Comparisons Create Limiting Beliefs
The media and social comparisons are two of the biggest contributors to the development of limiting beliefs. Every day, you are bombarded with messages from TV, movies, magazines, and social media telling you how you “should” live your life. These sources frequently promote unrealistic standards of beauty, success, and happiness that make you feel like you don’t measure up in comparison.
Social media and FOMO
Social media, in particular, fuels limiting beliefs by giving you a curated glimpse into the lives of others. You see your friends and family always on lavish vacations, enjoying fancy dinners, and attending the party of the year. This cultivates a fear of missing out (FOMO) and the belief that your own life isn’t exciting or glamorous enough in comparison. But remember, people only post the highlight reels of their lives on social media. They deal with the same ups and downs, doubts, and struggles as everyone else.
Filtered Realities
TV shows, movies, and magazines also portray an unrealistic, filtered version of life that sets unrealistic expectations. They frequently feature characters and stories that glorify excessive materialism, instant success, and fame. This skewed representation of reality leads you to believe that you need to acquire more money, status, or accomplishments to be happy and fulfilled. But lasting happiness comes from living according to your own values and priorities, not chasing some media-crafted vision of perfection.
The antidote to limiting beliefs created by media and social comparison is to limit your consumption and maintain a balanced perspective. Curate your social media feeds, watch less superficial TV, and focus on living according to your own standards. Your self-worth isn’t defined by what you have or how many likes you get. You are enough, just as you are, without all the excess baggage society says you need. Break free of those limiting beliefs and start living life on your own terms.
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5. When Positive Beliefs Turn Limiting
At some point, beliefs that once empowered can transform into limits. How does this happen? Often, positive beliefs turn limiting when:
Life experiences challenge them.
The beliefs you developed as a child were shaped by your environment and your experiences at the time. As you go through life, you encounter situations that contradict those early beliefs. If you cling to them rigidly, they become limits. For example, a belief that “if I work hard, I can achieve anything” is positive until you face failures and setbacks outside your control. Recognizing that both hard work and luck play a role in success allows this belief to evolve in a balanced way.
They become extreme or close-minded.
Beliefs that start out constructive can become close-minded or extreme. For instance, the belief that “I should always put other people’s needs first” may lead to poor self-care and resentment. Any belief taken to an extreme can become a limit. It’s important to evaluate your beliefs regularly and make sure they align with openness, flexibility, and balance.
You Confuse Them With Your Identity
When you fuse your beliefs with your sense of identity, they are hard to change, even when they are no longer serving you. For example, someone who believes “I’m incompetent with money” may cling to that belief because they see it as a truth about who they are. In reality, beliefs and skills can evolve and improve over time. You are more than any single belief.
You don’t recognize their influence.
Beliefs that you hold unconsciously can be the most limiting. Because you don’t examine them, they continue shaping your choices and behaviors without your awareness. Making an effort to surface your unconscious beliefs through self-reflection and discussion helps ensure they remain constructive. If needed, work with a counselor or coach who can provide an outside perspective. The beliefs that, once empowered, you can either expand into wisdom or constrict into limits.
With conscious awareness and a willingness to grow, you can transform your beliefs and transcend self-imposed limits. The key is maintaining an open and balanced perspective.
6. Core Beliefs That Hold You Back
Many of the beliefs that hold you back from achieving your dreams were formed early in life. As children, we absorb ideas and form perceptions about ourselves and the world around us. Unfortunately, many of these core beliefs simply aren’t true but continue to negatively impact us as adults. Here are some of the most common limiting beliefs that originate in childhood:
I’m not good enough.
As children, we rely heavily on the feedback and opinions of parents, teachers, and peers to shape our self-image. Harsh criticism, bullying, or a lack of praise and encouragement can instill the belief that we are somehow inadequate or unworthy. This belief persists into adulthood and manifests as perfectionism, fear of failure, and self-doubt.
I don’t deserve success or happiness.
If you grew up in an environment where your needs or wants were frequently dismissed or ignored, you may have internalized the belief that you were undeserving of good things. This belief causes you to self-sabotage when opportunities arise and prevents you from creating the life you want.
The world is a dangerous place.
Traumatic or frightening events in childhood can cultivate the belief that the world is unsafe and unpredictable. This belief leads to risk avoidance, anxiety, and difficulty trusting others. While a sense of caution is normal, an exaggerated fear of danger will hold you back from taking chances and fully living life.
I have no control over my life.
If you felt powerless as a child due to a lack of choice or autonomy, you likely developed the belief that you had little influence over the events in your life. This belief causes passivity, reluctance to set goals, and a tendency to see yourself as a victim of circumstance. In reality, you have far more control and agency as an adult than you realize.
I’m unlovable.
If you did not receive consistent love, affection, and nurturing as a child, you may have come to believe that you are somehow unworthy of love. This belief makes it difficult to develop healthy, intimate relationships and causes you to settle for less than you deserve in order to gain scraps of love and approval. The truth is, you are inherently lovable simply because you exist.
Overcoming limiting beliefs requires awareness of their origins and a willingness to challenge them with more constructive alternatives that better reflect your inherent worth and potential. While the past cannot be changed, the present is yours to shape.
How to Identify Your Own Limiting Beliefs
Identifying your own limiting beliefs is a key step to overcoming them. The beliefs you hold about yourself and your abilities have a huge impact on what you achieve in life. Some common limiting beliefs include:
- I’m not smart enough.
- I don’t have enough experience.
- I’m too old to change careers.
- No one will take me seriously.
Take an honest look at your self-talk and thoughts. Notice any patterns of negative or self-defeating beliefs. These likely stem from past experiences, what you were told as a child, failures or setbacks, or even societal stereotypes. The good news is that limiting beliefs are not permanent; they can be changed.
To pinpoint your limiting beliefs:
- Pay attention to your self-doubting thoughts. Notice any thoughts that make you feel incapable or unworthy. These are clues to your limiting beliefs.
- Examine your excuses. The reasons you give for not pursuing goals or dreams often reflect underlying, limiting beliefs. Ask yourself, “What must I believe is true about myself for this to be a valid excuse?”
- Review your past experiences. Think about major events in your life and the messages you internalized from them. For example, did a parent or teacher tell you that you would never amount to anything? These experiences likely shaped your beliefs.
- Consider societal stereotypes. We are all exposed to stereotypical messages that can become internalized, such as beliefs that women are bad at math or science or that older people can’t learn new skills. Notice if you have adopted any of these stereotypical beliefs.
- Discuss with others. Talk to people who know you well, and ask them if they have noticed any patterns of self-limiting beliefs. Our close ones often have insight into beliefs we hold that we don’t recognize in ourselves.
- Notice self-doubt in specific situations. Pay attention to situations where you feel inadequate, insecure, or filled with self-doubt. Your thoughts and feelings in these contexts often point to limiting beliefs. Identify the core beliefs driving these situations.
Once you have awareness of your limiting beliefs, you can take steps to challenge them and adopt a more empowering mindset. Recognizing and overcoming your limiting beliefs is a lifelong journey, but one that can lead to tremendous growth and freedom. You have the power to change your beliefs and become who you want to be.
When do limiting beliefs become problematic?
Limiting beliefs become problematic when they start to negatively impact your life and prevent you from reaching your full potential. If left unaddressed, limiting beliefs can snowball into much bigger issues.
1. They Sabotage Your Success
Have you ever had an idea for a new project or goal but then talked yourself out of pursuing it because you didn’t think you were smart enough or skilled enough? That’s your limiting beliefs at work, sabotaging your success before you even get started. These beliefs severely undermine your confidence and self-esteem, making you doubt yourself in situations where you should be thriving.
2. They become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Limiting beliefs have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecies. When you believe you can’t do something, you don’t even try. And when you don’t try, you ensure the outcome will be failure. This perpetuates the cycle of limiting beliefs. Your beliefs are affirmed, and your worldview is narrowed even further. You miss out on opportunities and experiences that could help build your confidence from the inside out.
3. They Spread to Other Areas of Your Life
Left unchecked, limiting beliefs have a tendency to spread. Beliefs that start in one domain of your life, like career or relationships, often bleed into other areas. For example, if you believe you always choose the wrong romantic partner, you may start to doubt your judgment in other decisions. Or if you think you’re bad with money, you may avoid taking financial risks that could benefit you in the long run. Limiting beliefs are pervasive and persuasive.
The good news is that limiting beliefs can be challenged and overcome. It takes conscious effort and commitment, but by identifying your limiting beliefs, questioning their validity, and replacing them with more constructive thoughts, you can break free of their grip and reach your full potential. Don’t let limiting beliefs hold you back from living the life you want to live. You have so much amazingness within you, just waiting to be unleashed!
Conclusion
So now that you understand where those pesky limiting beliefs originate, what can you do about them? First, awareness is key. Pay attention to the beliefs you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back. Question them and challenge their validity. Just because you’ve always thought something doesn’t make it true.
You have the power to change your mindset and adopt new, more empowering beliefs. It will take conscious effort and practice, but you can transform the way you think about yourself and what you’re capable of. Surround yourself with a strong support system of people who share your growth mindset. Let go of the past and forgive yourself and others. You deserve to reach your full potential.
The beliefs you hold dear often come from your experiences, your environment, and the influential people around you. But you are not defined by your past or circumstances. You have the ability to break free from limiting beliefs and write your own story. Believe in yourself and go after your dreams. The only thing holding you back is you. Now get out there and show yourself what you’re really made of! You’ve got this.
References
- The Importance of Overcoming Limiting Beliefs (With Examples)by Reuben O’Connell
- Chapter 3: Understanding the Impact of Trauma (Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services.) from National Library of Medicine, An official website of the United States government
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