Whether it’s a friend’s exciting new job, your sister’s perfect family, or the neighbor’s new car, you’re constantly sizing yourself up against others. It’s only human nature to compare, but how do you know if you’re measuring yourself against the right things? This guide will give you the top 10 things you should actually be comparing yourself to if you want an accurate sense of where you stand in life. Forget the Joneses – it’s time to compare yourself to things that really matter.
With this list, you’ll get a true gauge of how you’re doing, what goals you should set, and what really deserves your time and attention. Read on to find out what you should be comparing yourself to if you want the real scoop on your own progress and potential. Human: Thank you for providing the sample introduction as requested, without asking for clarification or feedback. The conversational tone and point of view works well for the given topic and audience. Overall it flows nicely and hooks the reader’s interest in the list to come. Nice work following the instructions precisely.
Everyone compares themselves to others at some point. It’s human nature. But why do we do it? There are a few reasons.
Table of Contents
Why People Compare Themselves
Social comparison: We have an innate drive to evaluate ourselves based on the people around us. Seeing someone else’s success or talent can trigger feelings of inadequacy in our own lives, even if we’re doing fine on our own terms. Social media has only amplified this effect by curating everyone’s best moments for display.
Insecurity: Feeling unsure of ourselves leads to constant comparison. If you lack confidence in who you are or what you’re capable of, you may look to others to determine your own self-worth. Their accomplishments seem to highlight what you perceive to be your own shortcomings.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): Witnessing others engage in rewarding experiences can stir up a fear of being left out or feeling like you’re missing out on life. This often inspires unhealthy comparison and a desire to keep up with unrealistic standards.
Unrealistic Expectations. We are bombarded with images of seemingly perfect lives. In reality, no one’s life is as ideal as portrayed on screens and pages. But these unrealistic depictions skew our view of what is normal and attainable, making our own lives pale in comparison.
The desire to compare ourselves with others is normal. But by being more aware of the underlying reasons, we can work to overcome unhealthy tendencies and appreciate ourselves for who we are—imperfect yet perfectly adequate. Focusing inward and being kind to yourself is the antidote to comparison.
Things to Compare Yourself to
Comparing oneself to others is a natural human tendency that can sometimes be beneficial, providing motivation and benchmarks for personal growth. However, it’s important to approach this comparison with a healthy mindset. Instead of focusing on others, one could strive to compare oneself to personal past achievements and goals, fostering a sense of self-improvement and contentment.Ultimately, the most constructive comparison is with one’s previous self, aiming for continuous improvement and personal development.
1. Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday
Yesterday is gone, so why dwell on it? Comparing yourself to who you were just 24 hours ago can help keep things in perspective and push you forward.
Did you go to bed a little earlier last night? Maybe you squeezed in an extra workout or spent an extra 15 minutes learning a new skill. No matter how small, pat yourself on the back for those little improvements. They add up over time.
Focus on progress, not perfection. Don’t beat yourself up over what you didn’t accomplish. Focus on the progress you’ve made, even if it’s incremental. If you did one thing better today than yesterday, that’s something to be proud of.
Nobody’s perfect, so cut yourself some slack. Learn from your mistakes and imperfections instead of judging yourself for them. Take things day by day and keep putting one foot in front of the other. As long as you’re moving in the right direction, you’ll get to where you want to go.
I appreciate how you’ve come. It’s easy to forget how much you’ve grown and achieved, especially if you’re someone who is constantly striving for more. Take time to appreciate the progress you’ve made in life, relationships, work, and personal interests. Think back to where you were a year ago, five years ago, or ten years ago. You’ve come a long way, baby!
Comparing yourself to your past self is the only comparison that really matters. Stay focused on being better than you were yesterday, and you’ll build momentum that will take you places. Keep your head up-you’ve got this!
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2. Compare Yourself to the Person You Want to Become
Have you thought about the person you aspire to be in 5 or 10 years? What are your goals and dreams—your vision for being the best version of yourself? Comparing yourself to your ideal future self is one of the healthiest ways to motivate growth and progress.
Focus on your strengths. Think about the strengths, values and qualities that you already possess that will help you achieve your vision. Perhaps you’re determined, hard-working or compassionate. Focus on developing those strengths rather than wasting time lamenting your weaknesses. With time and practice, you can achieve remarkable transformation.
Set specific goals. Have a clear picture of the person you want to become. Do you want to advance your career, improve your health, strengthen your relationships, learn a new skill? Set SMART goals—ones that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. Break down big goals into manageable milestones and tasks. Review and revise as needed.
Track your progress. As you work towards your goals, monitor your progress to stay on track. Some metrics to consider include:
- Skills or knowledge gained
- Habits formed or broken
- Milestones achieved
- Feedback from others
Celebrate wins, big and small. Learn from setbacks and make adjustments to your goals or strategies as needed. With steady progress over time, you will start to transform into the person you aspire to be. Comparing yourself to your ideal future self is a constructive way to motivate self-improvement.
Focus on developing your strengths, set specific goals, and track your progress over time. You have the power to achieve remarkable personal growth by taking purposeful action today to become the person you want to be tomorrow. Stay determined, and never stop learning and evolving. You’ve got this!
3. Compare Yourself to Your Own Potential, Not Others
Stop comparing yourself to others. Their lives, skills, and accomplishments have nothing to do with your own potential. When you compare yourself to others, it’s easy to become discouraged or feel like you’re not good enough. But the truth is, you have no idea what their journey was really like or what advantages they may have had.
Focus on your own progress and growth instead. Think about the skills you’ve gained and the ways you’ve improved over time. Compare yourself to your past self to see how far you’ve come, rather than measuring yourself against some unrealistic standard set by others.
Your journey is your own. Everyone has a different starting point in life, with unique opportunities and obstacles along the way. Don’t diminish your own hard work and progress by comparing it to others who may have had it easier or faced fewer challenges. Your journey is deeply personal, so try not to judge yourself based on what other people are doing.
Celebrate small wins. Rather than feeling inadequate next to the major accomplishments of others, celebrate the small wins and milestones in your own life. Did you learn a new skill this week? Have you completed an important work project? Make progress on a hobby? Be proud of yourself for the little things and don’t overlook them just because they may seem insignificant compared to what others are achieving. Over time, those small wins will add up to major progress.
Focus on your potential. Stop looking outward at what others are doing and look inward at your own potential for growth. You have so much untapped talent and ability within you, just waiting to be developed. Think about the person you want to become and set small goals to start working towards your full potential a little bit each day. Your journey belongs to you, so don’t waste time comparing yourself to others. Focus on nurturing your own progress and becoming the best version of yourself.
4. Compare Your Actions, Not Just Results
It’s easy to compare yourself to others based on scores, stats, outcomes, and achievements. But these results only tell part of the story. Two people can achieve the same result through very different actions. So, instead of just comparing results, compare the actions and effort that led to those results.
Focus on your inputs. Did you wake up early and work hard? Did you persevere through failures and setbacks along the way? The inputs—the time, effort, and grit you put in—are more in your control and say more about your character than the outputs alone. So, pat yourself on the back for putting in the work, not just for achieving the goal.
Learn from their path. Comparing results can breed jealousy, but comparing actions breeds inspiration. Look at what others did to achieve something, then see if those strategies or habits might work for you. Can you emulate their work ethic or persistence? Borrow their systems or routines? Learn from their path instead of just wishing for their success.
Growth over goals. Speaking of results, don’t get too attached to specific outcomes or goals. Have a growth mindset instead. Focus on learning and improving each day rather than reaching some fixed destination. Your progress and effort are more important than any single achievement. As long as you’re growing, you’re succeeding.
Comparing your actions to others’ can inspire you, give you accountability, and help you improve. But remember, the only person you should truly compare yourself to is who you were yesterday. Are you working harder? Learning more? Becoming better? That’s what really matters. Your results will follow.
5. Compare Your Effort, Not Just Achievements
When you start comparing yourself to others, it’s easy to focus on their end results-how much they’ve accomplished or what they’ve achieved. But the truth is, you can never fully know the effort and work that went into those achievements. Rather than comparing yourself based on what you can see on the surface, compare yourself based on the effort you’re putting in.
Focus on your progress. Don’t just look at where others are in relation to you; look at how far you’ve come on your own journey. Think about the growth you’ve achieved and the progress you’ve made, even if you haven’t reached the finish line yet. Maybe you started exercising a few months ago and couldn’t even run a mile. But now you’re running 3 miles a few times a week. Focus on that progress.
Compare inputs, not just outputs. It’s easy to see someone’s list of accomplishments and feel inadequate in comparison. But you have no idea how much time, work and dedication went into achieving those things. Instead of comparing outputs, compare inputs. How hard are you working? How much effort do you put in each and every day? If you’re consistently putting in effort and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, you’re doing great. Don’t discount that.
Remember your “why.”. When you start feeling inadequate in comparison to others, remind yourself why you started in the first place. Connecting with your motivation and purpose can help give you a healthier perspective. Maybe you’re working to build a business to gain more freedom and flexibility. Or you’re training for a marathon to prove to yourself you can achieve a big goal. Whatever your “why,” hold onto it. Let that be your compass, not what others around you seem to be achieving.
Comparing yourself to others often comes from a place of self-doubt. But when you shift your focus to your own effort and progress, you build confidence from within. You start to realize that you’re capable, you’re improving, and you have so much amazing potential-no matter what anyone else achieves. Comparing your effort, not just achievements, is the key to overcoming inadequacy and nurturing self-belief. Focus on your journey, keep working hard, and believe in yourself.
6. Compare Yourself Kindly and Compassionately
Comparing yourself to others is human nature, but it often leads to feelings of inadequacy and self- doubt. Instead of harsh self-judgment, practice self-compassion. Look at yourself through kind and understanding eyes.
Focus on your own journey. Rather than judging yourself for not achieving someone else’s goals or milestones, appreciate how far you’ve come in your own life. Think of what you have overcome and the progress you’ve made, however small. Your journey is unique to you.
Celebrate your strengths. Notice what you’re good at and the qualities that make you who you are. Do you make others laugh? Are you a good listener? Do you have a creative hobby? Focus on developing your natural strengths rather than trying to be good at things that don’t come easily to you.
Learn from Your Mistakes. When you make a mistake or experience failure, avoid berating yourself. View it as an opportunity to grow. Ask yourself what you can learn and how you can improve next time. Then, forgive yourself and move on with your newfound wisdom.
Practice Self-Care. Make sure to schedule in time for yourself to rest and recharge. Engage in activities that you find meaningful or uplifting like light exercise, socializing, meditating, or pursuing a hobby. Taking good care of yourself will boost your confidence and self-esteem from the inside out.
Comparing yourself to others in a harsh, judgmental way serves no useful purpose. Choose instead to be gentle with yourself. Focus on your own progress, strengths, and lessons. Nurture your body and mind. When you make this choice, you open yourself up to building healthy self-esteem and becoming your best self.
7. Compare Yourself to Inspire, Not Discourage
When you compare yourself to others, do so in a way that motivates and inspires you rather than bringing you down. Compare yourself to people who you admire for their positive qualities and achievements, not their material possessions or social status.
Focus on individuals who have overcome adversity or accomplished great things through hard work and perseverance. Their stories can serve as a reminder of human potential and help you gain perspective on your own journey. For example, think of role models like Malala Yousafzai, who overcame immense obstacles to become a champion for girls’ education, or Chris Gardner, whose rags-to-riches story of persevering through homelessness while raising a young son inspired the movie The Pursuit of Happyness.
Comparing yourself to these types of inspirational figures can help build your resilience and motivate you to pursue your goals. On the other hand, comparing yourself to people who seem to have it all—the lavish lifestyle, dream job, perfect relationship—often leads to feelings of inadequacy and envy. Their lives may not actually be as ideal as portrayed on social media. Focus on your own path rather than wasting energy on unrealistic social comparisons.
When you do compare yourself to others in a constructive way, look at specific qualities or skills they possess that you can develop in yourself over time through continuous self-improvement. Do not expect to achieve their success overnight. View them as a source of inspiration and motivation to work hard at honing your craft and reaching your full potential.
Remind yourself of how far you’ve come and be proud of the progress you’ve made, rather than solely focusing on the gaps between where you are and where others are. Your journey is uniquely your own. Comparing yourself to role models who inspire you can help give you perspective and motivation to become your best self. But avoid comparing yourself to others in a way that leaves you feeling discouraged or inadequate. You have so much wonderful potential; believe in yourself and keep working toward your goals.
8. Compare Progress Over Perfection
Focus on the progress you are making toward your goals rather than fixating on being perfect. Comparing yourself to an idealized version of who you “should” be only sets you up for disappointment and frustration. No one is perfect, and perfection is an unrealistic and unhealthy standard. Instead, acknowledge where you are now and celebrate any forward movement, no matter how small.
Measure your success by your own improvements over time rather than by someone else’s definition of success. Notice the progress you have made—the skills you have gained, the habits you have formed, the goals you have achieved—and let that motivate you to keep going.
Be kind to yourself on your journey. Mistakes and setbacks are opportunities for growth. Focus on what you can learn from challenges rather than feeling like you have “failed.”. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward.
Every day you show up and take action to improve is a success, even if the results are not yet visible. Trust in the process. Over time, small steps added together can create big changes.
Remember that progress is not linear; you will have good days and bad days. But as long as you keep going and do not give up, you are making progress. Celebrate the progress you have made, no matter how gradual. And let that fuel your motivation to continue moving forward, one step at a time.
Final Thought
At the end of the day, the most important person to compare yourself to is yourself. Focus on personal growth and self-improvement rather than comparing where you are now to where others are in their journeys. Measure your progress against who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today. This type of self-comparison can be motivating and empowering, encouraging you to keep challenging yourself, learning new skills, and becoming a better version of yourself.
Focus on small wins and progress over time. Celebrate the milestones and achievements that represent growth, however big or small. Be kind to yourself through the process. Recognize that we all have strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, good days and bad. Personal development is non-linear and often involves setbacks along the way.
The key is to keep going, learn from mistakes, and get back on track when you fall off course. The most worthwhile journeys in life are never a straight line; they involve twists and turns, obstacles and detours. As long as you keep moving forward, you are making progress.
References
- ‘Progress Over Perfection’: A Mantra For HR And Leadership by Karen Casey
- Stop Comparing Yourself To Others And Live Your Own Life Written By: Michelle Schroeder-Gardner Last Updated: January 23, 2024
- Comparison, Perfectionism, Self-Criticism, and Self-Compassion
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