So you know someone who constantly brags about how amazing they are, talks down to others, and thinks they’re always right? It’s annoying and frustrating to deal with an arrogant person. Their ego needs a reality check. While you can’t force someone to change their ways, there are subtle things you can do to humble them and knock them down a peg or two.
If their arrogance drives you crazy, try some of these tactics and enjoy watching them squirm. You may not transform them completely, but you’ll feel better knowing you’ve given their ego a little bruising. And who knows? If enough people employ these techniques, the arrogant person may eventually get the message that their behavior is off-putting and make some changes.
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What Is Arrogance, and Why Does It Develop?
Arrogance is an exaggerated sense of one’s importance or abilities. It develops when someone lacks humility and compassion for others. Some signs of arrogance in people include:
- Constantly talking about themselves and their accomplishments. Humble people focus on others, not themselves.
- Refusing to admit when they’re wrong Arrogant people always need to be right and need help accepting feedback.
- Looking down on others. Arrogant people think they’re superior to most people and treat them with condescension and disrespect.
- Not listening. They’re too busy talking about themselves to listen to what others say.
To humble an arrogant person:
- Don’t feed their ego. Don’t compliment or laugh at their jokes if they put others down.
- Call out condescending behavior. Politely but firmly tell them their behavior is unacceptable. Ask them to speak to you with courtesy and respect.
- Praise humility in others. Compliment humble, kind people in the arrogant person’s presence. This highlights the behavior you’d like to see from them.
- Set clear boundaries. Don’t engage in arrogance or rudeness. Walk away if they continue to disrespect you or others. Be consistent and follow through with consequences when lines are crossed.
With time and consistent effort, an arrogant person can learn humility. But they must first recognize the problem and want to change. There’s only so much anyone else can do; the rest is up to them.
Why It’s Worth the Effort to Humble Arrogance
Why put in the effort to humble arrogance? Because an arrogant attitude can be toxic and damaging.
1. It improves relationships.
When someone thinks they’re better than others, it strains connections and causes resentment. Humbling arrogance helps build understanding and compassion, strengthening bonds between people.
2. It leads to better decision-making.
Arrogance clouds judgment and makes it hard to see other perspectives. By developing humility, one can make wiser choices, considering different angles and opinions. They’re able to accept feedback and input from others.
3. It fosters growth.
An arrogant person believes they have nothing left to learn. But with humility comes openness to new ideas and opportunities for self-improvement. They realize there are always new things to discover about themselves and the world.
While it may feel satisfying, arrogance serves no one well. Helping arrogant people develop humility and see beyond themselves leads to healthier relationships, smarter choices, and never-ending personal progress. Though difficult, trying to humble arrogance is worth it for all.
How to Humble an Arrogant Person
To humble an arrogant person, you need to show them that they are not superior or better than others. You can do this by challenging their assumptions, pointing out their flaws, ignoring their insults, or praising their rivals. You can also avoid giving them attention or validation and instead focus on your own strengths and achievements. By doing this, you can make them realize that they are not as special or important as they think they are.
1. Understanding the Root Causes of Arrogance
To humble an arrogant person, you must first understand what’s driving their superiority complex. Often, arrogance masks deeper insecurities or feelings of inadequacy.
Low self-esteem
Underneath their haughty exterior, arrogant individuals typically struggle with low self-esteem. They rely on putting others down to build themselves up and feel important. Recognizing this can help you respond with compassion instead of anger. Refuse to engage in their insults and, instead, validate their inherent worth. Say something like, “There’s no need to insult others to feel good about yourself. You seem like someone with a lot to offer.” This can help chip away at their false bravado.
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Lack of true confidence
Truly confident people don’t need to constantly prove they’re better than others. Arrogant people often need more confidence to develop actual skills or talents. They cover this up by loudly proclaiming their greatness without cause. You can point out this discrepancy in a diplomatic way. For example, “It seems like you need to declare how amazing you are instead of just letting your abilities speak for themselves.” This may encourage them to pursue real growth and competence.
Insecurity about status or achievement
For some, arrogance is a way to project status or achievement they feel is lacking. Recognize this insecurity and avoid feeding their need to feel superior. Don’t lavish them with praise or accolades they haven’t earned. At the same time, provide sincere compliments when they demonstrate real ability or skill. This balance of honest feedback and recognition can help address the underlying need for status that feeds their arrogance.
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2. Encouraging self-reflection and awareness
To humble an arrogant person, encourage them to reflect on themselves and develop stronger self-awareness.
Ask them open-ended questions about how their actions or words might affect others or be perceived. For example, “How do you think that comment came across to your coworkers?” or “Put yourself in their shoes—how might you have felt if someone said that to you?” These kinds of reflective questions can help reveal their blind spots and make them think twice before acting so haughtily next time.
Suggest that they keep a journal to record their daily interactions, thoughts, and behaviors. Journaling is a proven way to build self-knowledge and gain a wider perspective on one’s flaws and weaknesses. Reading their journal entries back will make their arrogance starkly visible in a way that’s hard to ignore.
Discuss the traits of humble, gracious people they admire. Ask what specifically they respect about those people. Point out how that person’s demeanor and attitude differ from their own. This can motivate them to make real changes to become more humble and respectful in their dealings with others.
No one wants to be around an arrogant know-it-all. But with conscious effort and a willingness to look inward, anyone can cultivate a humbler outlook. Encouraging self-reflection and awareness is a compassionate way to help an arrogant person improve.
read more – 20 Importance of Knowing Yourself: A Guide to Self-Discovery
3. Challenging Their Sense of Superiority
Challenging their sense of superiority is a subtle way to humble an arrogant person. When they make a condescending comment, ask an innocent follow-up question to make them explain themselves. For example, if they say, “Of course, you probably don’t understand this complex issue,” respond with, “Why do you think I wouldn’t understand it?” Watch them struggle to justify their assumption without sounding like jerks.
You can also question their expertise or authority on a subject. Politely ask questions about their experience, credentials, or track record of success in an area in which they claim superior knowledge or skill. For example, say something like:
“How long have you been studying this field?”
“What are your qualifications in this area?”
“What results have you produced that make you such an expert?”
When they can’t give a solid answer, it reveals that their sense of superiority is misplaced.
Another tactic is to highlight your accomplishments and expertise. Mention the relevant experience, specialized skills, or achievements that make you their equal. Talk about the successes and credentials that show you are also highly capable. This makes it clear that you will not tolerate being looked down upon or dismissed by them.
In the end, the only person you can control is yourself. Focus on your confidence from within instead of seeking approval or allowing arrogance in others to affect you. When you know your strengths, skills, and worth, no amount of superiority from arrogant people can make you feel small. Their ego will not humble you.
read more – How do you let go of the spirit of perfectionism?
4. Lead by Example: Model Humility for Yourself
To humble an arrogant person, demonstrate humility in your own words and actions. As the saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” Model the modest, down-to-earth behavior you want to see from them. Some ways to do this:
Discuss your weaknesses and mistakes openly and honestly. Share times when you were wrong or didn’t have the answer. Admitting your faults shows you don’t see yourself as superior.
Use “I” statements and speak from your perspective. Say “I think” or “in my view” rather than making sweeping generalizations. This approach comes across as more humble and open-minded.
Praise others sincerely and give credit where it’s due. Compliment people who contribute and accomplish things. Highlight the achievements and strong points of others, not just your own.
Dress and present yourself in a simple, unpretentious manner. Avoid flashing expensive brand accessories or talking excessively about status symbols that feed an ego.
By walking the walk of humility yourself, you set a quiet example. In contrast to your arrogance, your unassuming and unpretentious demeanor may inspire the egotistical person to reflect on their attitude and make a change for the better. The power of modeling simple humility should be considered.
5. Provide feedback and perspective, both gently and privately.
Take the arrogant person aside and speak with them confidentially. Explain how their behavior comes across to others and provide specific examples of times their arrogance caused problems. Share the impact their attitude and actions had on you and others. Do this with empathy, tact, and care. You aim to broaden their perspective, not put them on the defensive.
Some ways to approach this sensitive conversation:
- “I’ve noticed you seem overconfident at times and wanted to give you some feedback to help you be aware of how that can affect people.”
- “We all have blind spots, and I consider you a friend, so I wanted to share my perspective on how some of your behavior might be perceived.”
- “Arrogance can hold people back from reaching their full potential. I see your talent and ambition, so I wanted to offer constructive insights to help you continue to grow and advance in your career.”
Frame the discussion around helping them and offer to be an ongoing sounding board. Your feedback may be hard to hear initially, but with time and reflection, the message can sink in and spur change. Follow up to see if they have any questions or want to discuss anything further. Let them know you believe in them and are there to support their personal development. Openness and a willingness to change can soften their arrogance into confidence and self-assurance.
6. Appeal to Their Desire to Improve and Grow
Arrogant people typically have an intense drive to advance and progress. Channel this by suggesting ways they can better themselves through self-improvement. For example:
- Point out knowledge or skills they may be lacking that could help them achieve their goals. Note specific ways they could strengthen these areas through reading, online courses, or working with a coach.
- Ask open-ended questions about their plans and ambitions. Then, probe for any roadblocks that may emerge and brainstorm solutions. This shows you recognize their growth potential.
- Recommend mentors or role models they could learn from. Explain that truly successful people never stop learning from others.
- Challenge them to leave their comfort zone by taking on new responsibilities or learning opportunities. While this may seem threatening, it appeals to their desire to evolve and strengthen their abilities.
Pushing an arrogant person in this way, through appealing to their aspiration to better themselves, helps humble them by exposing vulnerabilities and limitations. It also allows them to demonstrate humility by being open to feedback and personal progress. Ultimately, this approach aims to redirect their ego into developing self-awareness and a growth mindset.
7. Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities.
When someone makes a mistake, point it out to them in a caring way. Frame it as an opportunity to learn and grow, not a reason to feel ashamed. Say something like:
- “It looks like that didn’t go as planned. What do you think you can take from it?”
- “Mistakes happen. Let’s think about what we can improve on next time.”
- “No one’s perfect. Even the most successful people have learned from their failures. What will you do differently next time?”
Help them reflect on the situation to gain perspective. Ask open-ended questions to make them feel heard and help them reach their conclusions. Discuss how they can develop a growth mindset, believing their abilities can improve over time with effort and persistence.
With compassion and support, arrogant individuals can become more humble and willing to admit their imperfections. Creating an environment where people feel comfortable acknowledging mistakes and limitations is key. When we stop fearing failure, we open ourselves up to progress.
Reflection and a willingness to learn are two of the most effective ways to humble an arrogant person. Provide opportunities for both thoughtful conversation and leading by example. Model humility in your own life by openly discussing your mistakes and how you learned from them. Promote progress over perfection.
read more – You Couldn’t Live with Your Own Failure, So Learn from It
8. Providing Perspective Through Empathy
To humble an arrogant person, help them gain perspective by cultivating empathy. Ask open-ended questions to understand their experiences and struggles. Say something like:
- “What challenges have you faced to achieve your success?”
- “Who has supported or mentored you along the way?”
People rarely achieve great things alone. Gently remind them of this by inquiring about their support systems and role models.
Share stories of your hardships and vulnerabilities, too. Talk about times you faced failures, insecurities, or difficult life events. Opening up in this way can help build connections and provide a more balanced view of what real success entails. It also permits them to share their struggles in return.
Discuss how unforeseen circumstances beyond our control—health issues, natural disasters, financial crises—can instantly change life as we know it. Explore how this unpredictability impacts both the privileged and the underprivileged alike. Discussing misfortunes that could befall anyone can make arrogance seem trivial and fleeting.
With empathy and shared experiences, you aim to broaden their perspective. Help them realize true success comes from living with humility, courage, and grace through all of life’s triumphs and trials. No one, no matter their status, is immune to hardship. We are all far more alike than different.
9. Setting boundaries and enforcing consequences
To humble an arrogant person, you must stand up for yourself and not tolerate their behavior.
Set clear boundaries.
Politely but firmly tell them that their behavior is unacceptable and that you won’t engage with them when they act arrogantly. For example, say, “I don’t appreciate your condescending tone. Let’s continue this discussion when you can speak to me with courtesy and respect.” Then, walk away.
Enforce consequences if they continue to disrespect your boundaries. For instance, if it’s a friend, limit contact with them until they sincerely apologize. If it’s a coworker, bring the issue to HR or management. Don’t feel guilty about upholding your limits; you’re entitled to be treated well.
The arrogant believe they can do or say whatever they want without repercussions. Proving them wrong by issuing proper discipline will puncture their inflated egos and force them to change their ways. Stay composed and consistent, never stooping to personal attacks or insults.
With time and correction, their hubris may soften into humility. But if not, you’ve established that you won’t stick around to endure their high-handed behavior. Surrounding yourself with people who treat you with kindness and respect will lead to greater happiness and inner peace.
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10. Engage in active listening. Show genuine interest in their thoughts.
When an arrogant person is talking, make eye contact, give them your full attention, and listen actively. Ask follow-up questions to show you’re paying attention and genuinely interested in learning more about their perspective. Repeat back parts of what they said to confirm you understood them correctly.
Arrogant people often feel that no one truly understands or appreciates them, so giving them your focused attention can help subtly humble them. Make sure your body language is open and receptive as well. Leaning in, keeping an open stance with uncrossed arms, and nodding as they speak all show you’re engaged and receptive to their message.
As you listen, also reflect on their words and points of view. Try to understand the root causes of their arrogance and see things from their point of view. This can help build empathy and compassion, even if you don’t agree with their perspective. When they finish speaking, thank them for sharing their thoughts before providing your counterpoint or opinion. Let them know you appreciate them explaining their reasoning, even if you have a different view.
Treating the arrogant person with empathy, respect, and care despite their behavior is one of the most powerful ways to humble them. Kill them with kindness, as the saying goes. Over time, this approach may help chip away at their ego and foster more openness and humility. But the change starts with you—try to truly listen, understand, and connect.
11. Encourage an attitude of gratitude.
Encouraging an attitude of gratitude is a great way to humble an arrogant person.
Expressing gratitude
Expressing gratitude helps arrogant people gain perspective and appreciate what they have. Suggest they start a gratitude journal and write down the daily things they are grateful for. The more they practice gratitude, the more humble they will become.
- Tell them to appreciate the big things, like close relationships, health, meaningful work, and experiences that enrich their lives. Also, express gratitude for simple pleasures—a warm bed, a hot shower, a home-cooked meal.
- Please encourage them to express gratitude to others in their lives. Say “thank you” to friends and family, teachers and mentors, or anyone who has positively impacted them. Letting people know you appreciate them fosters humility.
- Suggest volunteering or community service. Giving back helps arrogant people recognize their good fortune and understand the challenges others face. They will gain a deeper appreciation for what they have access to and be less inclined to an attitude of entitlement.
Practicing gratitude, appreciating life’s blessings, and giving back to others are simple but powerful ways to cultivate humility in someone with an arrogant air. Please encourage them to make gratitude a habit and watch their humility grow.
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12. Creating opportunities for them to help others.
One of the best ways to humble an arrogant person is to create situations where they can help others in need. When they are focused on assisting those less fortunate, it helps them gain perspective and realize their limitations and shortcomings.
- Volunteer their time at a local charity or community organization. Have them help serve meals at a soup kitchen, build homes for Habitat for Humanity, or tutor underprivileged children. Interacting with people facing hard times will make them appreciate how much they have.
- Please encourage them to mentor someone struggling in an area where they have expertise. Whether helping a new employee at work or a student at school, guiding another person through difficulties will teach them humility and compassion.
- Challenge them to participate in a fundraising campaign for a meaningful cause. Asking friends and family for donations to help sick children, homeless veterans, or abused animals fosters understanding and kindness. Meeting people with selfless goals inspires gratitude and humility.
Requiring arrogant individuals to look outside themselves and assist others in need is a constructive way to temper their ego and gain empathy. Focusing their energy and skills on helping people with real problems gives them a more balanced outlook and a healthier sense of self-importance. Regular acts of service will gradually replace their arrogance with humility and wisdom.
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13. Avoiding feeding their ego.
To humble an arrogant person without stooping to their level, avoid feeding their ego.
Don’t flatter them.
Flattery will only inflate their sense of superiority. Don’t compliment them or praise their accomplishments and talents. If you must comment, do so sparingly and avoid superlatives.
Don’t make excuses for them.
Don’t make excuses for their behavior or bad attitude. Hold them accountable for their words and actions. Call them out on rude, inconsiderate, or disrespectful behavior. Let them know their arrogance is unacceptable.
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Don’t seek their approval.
Don’t bend backward, trying to win or impress them. Live your own life, and don’t make them the center of your universe. Pursue your interests and relationships that fulfill you rather than seeking their validation.
Please don’t argue with them.
Arguing with an arrogant person is pointless and will likely only anger you both. They always have to be right, so avoid confrontations and debates. Please change the subject or walk away rather than prove them wrong. Your silence and indifference will speak volumes.
Focus on your self-worth.
Rather than allowing their arrogance to diminish your self-esteem, focus on surrounding yourself with people who love and appreciate you. Pursue your passions and work on building your confidence from the inside out. An arrogant person’s opinion means nothing in the face of your self-worth.
14. Encouraging humility through literature or media.
Expose the arrogant person to stories promoting humility and compassion. Reading about or watching characters who overcome adversity with grace can be impactful.
- Suggest biographies of humble leaders like Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. Their messages of love, empathy, and sacrifice are inspiring.
- Recommend films like “It’s a Wonderful Life” that show how every person impacts others meaningfully, regardless of status or achievement.
- Share quotes from wise thinkers like the Dalai Lama: “Be humble, be harmless, be honest.” Discuss how this mindset leads to contentment.
- Find children’s books with positive messages of kindness and humility, like “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio or “Charlotte’s Web” by E.B. White. These simple stories often have the most profound lessons.
Exposing the arrogant person to uplifting media and literature promotes reflection and encourages a broader perspective. While a single book or movie may not immediately transform their attitude, each small act of compassion and wisdom shared can help chip away at an ego over time. With regular reinforcement, the messages of humility and kindness will sink in. Leading by example through the stories and messages you share is an effective approach.
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15. Leveraging the Wisdom of Others: Stories, Quotes, and Examples
One effective way to humble an arrogant person is to leverage the wisdom and experiences of others. Share stories, quotes, or examples of admirable and accomplished people discussing humility and its virtues.
The Dalai Lama said, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” An arrogant person who believes they are superior to others could benefit from reflecting on this message.
Discuss leaders like Nelson Mandela, who said, “A humble leader is not weak, but instead has the wisdom to know their limitations.” Point out that true power and confidence come from humility, not arrogance. Please share examples of accomplished people they respect who have discussed the importance of humility, compassion, and kindness.
Discussing the experiences of others in overcoming adversity through humility and compassion can be impactful. For example, Malala Yousafzai said, “I raise my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard. We cannot succeed when half of us are held back.” Her strength and wisdom came through humility, empathy, and courage, not arrogance.
Leveraging stories and the timeless wisdom of great leaders and thinkers who have embraced humility and kindness is an effective way to help an arrogant person develop self-awareness and compassion. While arrogance divides us, humility and shared humanity unite us. Focusing on our shared human experiences helps build connections and foster kindness.
The Downsides of Arrogance for the Arrogant Person
The downside of arrogance is that it often comes back to bite the arrogant person. Here are a few ways arrogance can negatively impact an arrogant individual:
1. Isolation from others
Arrogant people often isolate themselves from others with their superior attitudes and egos. People don’t enjoy being around people who constantly boast about themselves and look down on others. The arrogant person misses out on meaningful relationships and connections.
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2. Lack of learning
When you think you know it all, you stop learning and growing. The arrogant person believes they have nothing to learn, so they stop seeking knowledge and opportunities to improve themselves. Their ego is too big to accept feedback or admit when they’re wrong. This intellectual stagnation prevents personal growth.
3. Resentment from Others
How arrogant people treat others often fosters resentment, annoyance, and dislike. Their conceited behavior and insults are off-putting. Over time, this can damage work relationships, friendships, and family dynamics as people grow tired of arrogance and ego. The arrogant person becomes isolated as others pull away to avoid the toxicity.
4. Prone to Mistakes
Arrogant individuals overestimate their abilities and knowledge while underestimating challenges or obstacles. This often leads to poor decision-making and preventable mistakes that could have been avoided with more humility and balanced thinking. Their ego closes their eyes to their limitations and fallibility.
In summary, arrogance may temporarily boost one’s ego and self-confidence, but in the long run, it undermines happiness, relationships, and success. The downsides for the arrogant person far outweigh any benefits. Choosing humility and balancing confidence with realism is a much wiser path.
Conclusion
So there you have it: 10 effective ways to humble an arrogant person and bring them back down to earth. Using a combination of these techniques, you can knock them off their high horse and remind them that they aren’t as great as they think. The key is to be subtle but persistent, gradually chipping away at their ego and confidence.
Before you know it, that arrogant attitude will disappear, and you’ll be left with a more humble, down-to-earth person. And who knows? They may even thank you for helping them gain a more balanced perspective! Stay patient and have fun with the process.
References
- How to Deal with Difficult People | Jay Johnson | TEDxLivoniaCCLibrary
- Confidence vs. Arrogance: Definitions and Key Differences by Indeed
- Be Humble, and Proudly, Psychologists Say -Humility is not the boldest of personality traits, but it’s an important one, studies find. And it’s hard to fake..By Benedict Carey
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