You’re tired of feeling upset and frustrated all the time. The littlest things seem to offend you and ruin your day. A careless comment from a coworker, an insensitive joke from a friend, an opposing perspective on social media—they all get under your skin and stick with you. But living like this is exhausting and prevents you from experiencing joy.
The good news is that there are some simple strategies you can start using today to develop a thicker skin and stop letting everything offend you. It’s time to break free from the cycle of constant aggravation and reclaim your peace of mind. With practice and persistence, you’ll get better at not sweating the small stuff and focusing on what matters to you.
Are you ready to stop giving so much power to outside influences, know how to not get offended easily. If so, read on to discover effective tips for not getting easily offended.
Table of Contents
1. Recognize That Offense Is Taken, Not Given.
Don’t let every little comment or action offend you! Life’s too short for that. Recognize that offense is taken, not given. How you interpret the actions and words of others is within your control.
Stay positive and assume good intent. Unless proven otherwise, believe that people mean well. Their words or deeds that you find offensive may have nothing to do with you. Don’t make other people’s actions about yourself.
Lighten up! Not everything is a personal attack. Learn to not sweat the small stuff and brush more things off your shoulders. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in a year?” If not, let it go.
Focus on yourself, not what others do or say. You can’t control them; you can only control your reaction. Choose not to be offended. Decide that you will not grant others power over your feelings and moods.
Surround yourself with positive people who share your values and lift you up. Their good-natured support can help shift your perspective to one of less sensitivity to unintended slights. With practice, you’ll get better at not responding to every provocation.
Make the choice each day to be less easily offended. Take a deep breath and pause before reacting negatively. Find your sense of humor and laugh more. Your happiness depends on you, so decide to lighten up and not let everything offend you! The freedom you gain will be worth the effort.
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2. Do Not Assume Malicious intent.
Don’t assume people are out to get you! More often than not, their actions have nothing to do with you. When something offends you, take a step back and consider the context.
Did that driver really cut you off on purpose, or were they just distracted? Your co-worker’s blunt email was probably due to their frustration, not because they disliked you. Your friend who canceled plans likely has their own life going on; don’t take it personally!
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume good intent and look for alternative explanations. People are complex, with many motivations for their behavior that have nothing to do with you.
- Don’t jump to conclusions. Gather more information before reacting. That offhand comment that stung may have been meant as a joke, or the person may not have realized how their words would impact you. Ask for clarification before getting upset.
- Stay confident in yourself. Do not let perceived slights shake your self-worth. What other people say and do is a reflection of them, not you. You know your intentions and motivations, so do not second-guess yourself based on outside opinions.
With an open and optimistic mindset, you’ll find fewer things that offend you. And if something still gets under your skin, communicate constructively instead of accusing or attacking. Your relationships and quality of life will be so much better when you stop assuming malice where there is none! Stay positive.
3. Focus on Yourself, Not others.
Stop worrying so much about what other people think or say. Their opinions are not your problem. You have no control over them, so why waste your energy? Instead, focus on living according to your values and priorities.
When someone says something you disagree with, take a deep breath and remember that you cannot control them; you can only control your reaction. Do not engage or argue. Respond with empathy and understanding, not defensiveness. Say something like, “I see this issue differently, but I respect your perspective.” Then move on to more positive discussions.
Rather than judging others for their insensitive or offensive comments, surround yourself with people who share your values. Cultivate meaningful relationships with open-minded, understanding friends who appreciate you for who you are. Let their positivity lift you and inspire you to be your best self.
Do small things each day that make you happy.
Find little ways each day to prioritize your well-being. Do things that boost your confidence and self-esteem from within. Maybe it’s going for a walk outside, calling a friend, reading an inspiring book, or pursuing a hobby you enjoy. Make time for simple pleasures that fill you with joy.
When you feel good inside, the opinions and judgments of others will roll off your back more easily. You will recognize that their offense says more about them and that you do not need their validation or approval. Focus on nourishing your body, relationships, mind, and soul. Everything else will fall into place.
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Let go of what you cannot control and choose to be offended less. Make your happiness and self-care your top priorities every day. The rest will follow.
4. Avoid Taking Things personally.
Lighten up, buttercup! Not everything is a direct attack on you. Learn to brush more things off your shoulders instead of internalizing them. When someone cuts you off in traffic or a coworker snaps at you, don’t automatically assume it’s about you. Their behavior says more about them, so try not to make their problems your own.
Put yourself in their shoes.
Before getting offended, try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. Maybe they’re having a bad day or dealing with personal issues. Everyone slips up and says things they don’t mean sometimes. Give them the benefit of the doubt instead of immediately vilifying them. Make an effort to be more understanding and forgiving. Harboring resentment and anger only hurts you in the end.
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Don’t be so self-centered.
The world doesn’t actually revolve around you. As harsh as that sounds, it’s the truth. People have their own lives and priorities that have nothing to do with yours. Their words or actions are not always a reflection on you, so avoid interpreting them that way. Learn to recognize that not everything is a jab at your ego or self-worth. Some things just aren’t about you at all!
Focus on your reactions.
You alone have control over how you respond to situations. Choose not to get offended in the first place. Take a few deep breaths and count to ten if needed. Look at the bigger picture instead of isolated parts. Decide that you won’t give others power over your emotions and moods. Your positivity and confidence should come from within, not from what others say or do. Make a habit of staying calm and rational rather than getting upset.
Learn to lighten up and not sweat the small stuff. The less offended you get by what happens around you, the happier and more carefree you’ll feel. Choose to focus on the good and let the rest roll off your back. Your mood and self-worth will thank you!
5. Do Not Seek Out Things to Be Offended by.
Stop seeking out things to be offended by. Some people seem to actively look for reasons to be outraged or upset. Don’t be that person! Make a conscious effort to avoid seeking out media, social media posts, news stories, or conversations that you know will offend or upset you.
Tune out the noise.
There’s so much negativity and things to be angry about in the world today, with 24/7 news and social media. But you don’t have to tune into all of it! Turn off notifications from news outlets or people on social media that frequently share offensive or upsetting content. Focus on surrounding yourself with positivity and things that make you happy.
Don’t take the bait.
Trolls and attention-seekers on the internet frequently post offensive or provocative content just to get a reaction. Don’t give them what they want by taking the bait and getting upset. Keep scrolling past those kinds of posts and comments. Reacting and engaging just encourages their behavior.
Choose your battles.
You can’t be offended by every problematic issue or instance of political incorrectness in the world—you’ll drive yourself crazy! Pick and choose what’s worth your time and attention. Focus on issues that matter to you rather than trivial things said on social media or TV. Save your outrage for things that impact you or your community.
Making an effort to avoid seeking out offensive content and not reacting to every little thing will help you become less easily offended over time. Choosing to focus on more positive influences in your life will make you a happier, less offended person. Don’t let small things get you down—save that energy for the important stuff!
6. Focus on Your Own Reactions, Not Others’ actions.
Focusing on how others’ actions make you feel gives them power over you. Instead, pay attention to your own reactions—you have control over them.
Choose not to be offended.
When something irritating happens, take a deep breath and decide not to let it get under your skin. Say to yourself, “I will not be offended by this.” Repeat it like a mantra. Make a conscious choice to remain unbothered.
Look for explanations.
There are usually many possible explanations for someone else’s behavior, so don’t assume the worst. Maybe they’re having a bad day, misinterpreted your actions, or didn’t mean to upset you. Look for reasons not to take the offense personally. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Stay detached
Try to remain objective and detached from the situation. Don’t make other people’s actions a reflection on you or your self-worth. Their behavior says more about them, so don’t internalize it. Picture the irritation bouncing off you like rubber, unable to penetrate your calm center.
Focus on the big picture.
In the grand scheme of things, minor annoyances won’t matter. Years from now, you’ll have long forgotten what that rude stranger said or the careless mistake your coworker made. So why get worked up over it now? Keep some perspective and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Choosing not to be offended is liberating. You’ll no longer be at the mercy of thoughtless actions or insensitive remarks. Stay in control of your reactions and maintain an even keel. Brush off life’s little annoyances and save your energy for the things that really matter.
7. Stay Calm and composed.
Staying calm and composed is key to not letting everything offend you. When you feel yourself getting worked up over something trivial, take a deep breath and follow these tips:
Relax and unwind.
Do some light exercise, like going for a walk or doing some yoga. Physical activity releases feel-good hormones that will help shift your mindset to a more positive state.
Gain perspective.
Ask yourself, “Will this matter in 5 years?” Chances are, the offending thing will have no lasting impact. Keep the big picture in mind instead of sweating the small stuff.
Don’t take the bait.
Don’t engage with people looking to provoke you. Stay detached from their harmful intentions and respond with empathy and compassion. Say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and remove yourself from the situation.
Find your sense of humor.
Laughter makes everything better. If it’s appropriate, make a joke about the offending situation or reframe it in a more amusing light. Seeing things through a lens of humor and playfulness will prevent you from becoming offended in the first place.
Focus on the good.
Make a conscious effort to notice all the things that aren’t offending or upsetting you. Appreciate the good in each day and the kind, inspiring people around you. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude will make small slights and irritations pale in comparison.
The truth is, you can’t control what other people do or say; you can only control your reaction. Staying calm and composed, keeping perspective, and focusing on the meaningful parts of life will help ensure you remain happy and offense-free. Let the little things roll off your back—your peace of mind will thank you!
8. Develop Thinner Skin.
Developing a thicker skin is one of the best ways to stop letting everything offend you. When little things get under your skin, take a step back and try to gain some perspective.
Don’t Take Things personally.
Most of the time, other people’s insensitive comments say more about them than about you. Try not to assume their remarks reflect the absolute truth or that they actually know you well enough to judge you accurately. Their words are a reflection of their limitations, insecurities, and biases.
Focus on Your Own Self-Worth
Do not let your sense of self-worth depend on what other people say or do. You know your own strengths, values, and positive qualities. Remind yourself of the things you like about yourself. Do not seek validation from people who do not treat you with kindness and respect.
Do Not Dwell on offenses.
When someone says something hurtful, do not waste time and energy dwelling on it or rehashing it in your mind. Take a few deep breaths and work on letting it go. The more you ruminate on an offense, the more power you give that person and their words. Make a conscious effort to shift your mind to something more positive and productive.
Surround Yourself With Supportive people.
Spend less time with people who constantly criticize you and put you down. Instead, cultivate relationships with people who treat you with compassion and respect. Their kindness and support can help offset hurtful remarks from others.
Developing thicker skin takes practice and patience. Stay focused on surrounding yourself with people who love and support you. Do not give more credence and importance to unkind words than they deserve. And remember, what others say is more a reflection of them than of you. With time and conscious effort, you can strengthen your ability to let offenses roll off your back.
9. Develop Your Self-Confidence and Self-awareness.
Developing rock-solid self-confidence and a healthy sense of self-worth will make you far less likely to get offended by every little thing. When you know your own worth, you won’t give others power over you and your emotions.
Stop seeking approval.
Stop worrying so much about what others think of you. Their opinions do not define you. Do your own thing and pursue your own interests without apology. When you live to please everyone else, you’ll always be offended by perceived slights and criticisms.
Focus on your strengths.
Make a list of your best qualities, talents, and accomplishments. Remind yourself of them often. Do not dwell on your perceived weaknesses and flaws. Everyone has room for improvement, so choose to appreciate who you are right now.
Do not rely on external validation.
Do not base your self-worth on compliments or what others say about you. That makes you vulnerable to getting offended when those external validations are lacking. You are enough, just as you are, regardless of what anyone says or does not say.
Practice positive self-talk.
Speak to yourself with encouragement and praise. Do not put yourself down or dwell on your mistakes and imperfections. Be your own best cheerleader. Replace negative thoughts with more constructive ones. Your self-talk shapes your self-image, so make it uplifting.
The more you build your self-confidence from the inside out, the less you will care about what others say or do. You cannot control them; you can only control your reactions. Choose not to be offended and instead focus on nurturing your self-worth. Do not give anyone permission to make you feel “less than.” You’ve got this! Now go out there and shine.
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10: Remember That Everyone Is on Their Own path.
Focus on Your Own journey.
Everyone is on their own path in life, learning and growing at their own pace. Their actions and words say more about them than about you, so try not to take things personally.
When someone offends you, take a step back and remember that they are coming from their own place of ignorance or suffering. Do not let their darkness dim your light. Release your need to control how others act and think. You cannot change them; you can only change your reaction.
Rather than judging others for their faults and flaws, practice empathy and compassion. We are all imperfect beings, prone to moments of thoughtlessness and ego. No one is immune to times of suffering, which can make us lash out at those around us.
Let Go of Your ego.
Do not allow your ego to get in the driver’s seat and steer you into offense or outrage. Your ego wants to divide the world into “us vs. them”, always seeking to prove itself right and superior. Rise above your ego’s pettiness and see the shared humanity in all people.
When you feel offended, pause and ask yourself if your ego is at play. Are you interpreting things in an exaggerated or self-centered way? The ego inflates small slights into major assaults. Do not give it power over you. Breathe and bring awareness to the present moment rather than spinning into the ego’s stories.
Focus on the positivity.
Train your mind to focus on the good in each situation and in people. Do not waste time and energy on perceived slights and negative interpretations. Actively look for the kindness, humor, and shared joy available all around you.
The more you practice focusing on the good, the less offense you will feel. Your sensitivity to hurt will be replaced with a sensitivity to compassion. You will start to greet the world with an open heart rather than an open wound. This shift in perception is a gift you can give yourself each and every day.
11. Avoid Trigger Words and topics.
Avoiding trigger words and topics that offend you is a surefire way to not let everything get under your skin.
Tune Out Toxic talk.
Don’t engage in conversations with people who constantly complain or spread negativity. Their toxic talk will only bring you down and make you more prone to taking offense. Politely excuse yourself from the discussion or change the subject to something more positive. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who share your optimistic mindset.
Filter Out Offensive media.
Be selective about what websites, news channels, and social media accounts you follow. Some media outlets thrive on spreading outrage and controversy, which can heighten your sensitivity. Unsubscribe or unfollow accounts that frequently post contentious or upsetting stories and instead follow those that share inspiring and empowering messages.
Out of sight, out of mind The less exposure you have to potentially offensive topics and trigger words, the less likely they are to provoke you. Make a habit of avoiding excessively heated comment sections on websites and social media. Don’t get sucked into back-and-forth arguments with strangers over the Internet.
Shift Your perspective.
Rather than assuming ill intent, give people the benefit of the doubt. Their offending comment may have been unintentional or meant as a joke. Try viewing the situation from a more understanding and compassionate perspective. Respond with empathy and patience instead of anger and accusations.
Conclusion
Many people experience tension and frustration when they are easily offended. It can also have an impact on one’s relationships, self-esteem, and mental health. Nonetheless, there are several ways that might help one deal with hostile circumstances and avoid taking things personally.
Understand that offense is a personal reaction. Something that irritates one individual may not irritate another, and vice versa. Offense is a personal perception of someone’s words or behavior, not an objective reality.
Choosing not to get offended is empowering. You gain control over your emotions and reactions. Stay focused on surrounding yourself with positivity and open-mindedness. The rest will fade into insignificance. Keep calm and don’t take the bait!
References
- It’s Time to Teach Young People How to Stop Being So Offended IDEA BY IRSHAD MANJI |MARCH 6, 2019 3:50 PM EST, Joey Lautrup is a senior video producer at TIME.
- How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen
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