Have you ever wanted to change how you see yourself? The beliefs you hold about who you are—your self-concept—shape your reality in profound ways. I used to struggle with a poor self-image that held me back for years. It took work, but I was able to reshape my sense of self into one that empowered me. If you want to transform your self-concept and open up new possibilities in your life, you’ve come to the right place.
In this guide, I’ll share the steps I took to change my self-concept for the better. Get ready to challenge old assumptions, practice self-compassion, and become the person you want to be. Changing your self-concept isn’t easy, but it will be one of the most rewarding things you ever do.
If you want to change your self-concept you should try some strategies. So are you ready to get started, Let’s go.
Table of Contents
What is self-concept?
Our self-concept is how we view ourselves—our beliefs, perceptions, and ideas about who we are. It shapes how we think, act, and connect with others. If you want to change your life, start by reshaping your self-concept.
As I’ve learned, your self-concept develops over time through experiences, interactions, and self-reflection. The beliefs you hold about yourself can either empower you or limit you. For me, my self-concept was holding me back from pursuing new opportunities and relationships. I realized I had to make a change.
The first step was identifying the areas of my self-concept I wanted to improve. Did I see myself as shy, uncreative, or risk-averse? I had to recognize these limiting beliefs before I could replace them with more positive ones.
Then, I worked to adopt a growth mindset. I started viewing my personality and abilities as changeable rather than fixed. With practice and persistence, I could strengthen qualities like bravery, charisma, and open-mindedness.
Finally, I took action to reinforce my new self-concept. I stepped out of my comfort zone, engaged in new hobbies, and surrounded myself with people who shared my aspirations.
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If You Want to Change Your Self-Concept You Should
Have the power to redefine who you are. Question your limiting beliefs, cultivate a growth mindset, and take action to become your best self.
1. Identify your core values and priorities.
To really change how I see myself, I had to dig deep and figure out what really matters to me. The first step was identifying my core values—the principles that guide my life and shape who I want to be. For me, that’s things like integrity, growth, and compassion.
Once I pinpointed my values, I looked at how I was actually spending my time and energy. Did my daily actions align with what I said was important? Often, the answer was no. So I had to make some changes to prioritize the things that really mattered.
For example, I used to waste hours mindlessly scrolling through social media. But since personal growth is a top value, I cut way back on social media and instead took up reading and learning new skills. I started meditating too, to gain more self-awareness. These types of small changes, over time, have helped reshape how I view myself into the person I aspire to be.
Figuring out what really drives you gives your life meaning. Then make choices each day that honor those values and priorities. It’s not always easy, but living according to your core values is the surest way to transform your self-concept into one you can be proud of. Focus on progress, not perfection, and celebrate each small win along the way. You’ve got this!
2. Identify negative self-beliefs.
First, pinpoint any negative views you hold about yourself. For me, it was thinking I wasn’t smart or capable enough. Look for beliefs that make you feel bad about yourself or hold you back in life. These are the self-images you want to alter.
3. Challenge those beliefs.
Next, challenge those negative self-beliefs. Look for concrete evidence that contradicts them. For example, I realized I had accomplished many difficult things, showing I was capable. I also noticed my strengths and skills in certain areas. Find your own examples to dispute any false self-doubts.
4. Adopt a growth mindset.
Develop a growth mindset. Believe that you can improve and change through effort and persistence. Tell yourself you can enhance your abilities and learn new skills. A fixed mindset—thinking your qualities are set in stone—will only reinforce a negative self-image. But a growth mindset opens you up to progress and transformation.
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Reshaping your self-image is challenging, but by confronting the negative views you hold, finding evidence to counter them, developing a growth mindset, and using positive self-talk, you can transform how you see yourself.
5. Challenge negative self-talk.
When I first started challenging my negative self-talk, it was difficult. My inner critic had become second nature, and its voice was loud. But with conscious effort, I was able to start reshaping my self-concept by talking back to that voice.
Notice negative thoughts. – The first step was becoming aware of the negative thoughts as they happened. I paid close attention to the self-doubting, critical voice in my head and wrote the thoughts down. Just the act of noticing them helped me gain some distance and perspective.
Challenge those thoughts. – Once I identified the thoughts, I asked myself questions to challenge their validity and look for more balanced ways of thinking. For example, if I thought, “I’m so stupid for making that mistake,” I’d ask, “Would I call a friend stupid for the same thing?” The answer was always no. I realized my inner critic held me to unrealistic standards.
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6. Replace with more positive thoughts.
Finally, I substituted the negative thoughts with kinder ones. Instead of “I’m stupid,” I’d say, “I’m human, and humans make mistakes. I learned from it.” It felt fake at first, but with practice, the positive thoughts became second nature.
Challenging your negative self-talk is challenging but rewarding work. Be patient and speak to yourself with the same compassion you’d show a friend. Your self-concept and confidence will strengthen over time through the simple act of being kind to yourself.
7. Practice positive self-talk.
To change how you see yourself, start by changing the way you talk to yourself. Your self-talk has a huge influence on your self-concept and self-esteem.
I used to be really hard on myself. My inner voice was constantly criticizing everything I did. Over time, I realized this negative self-talk was damaging my confidence and holding me back.
To build a more positive self-concept, I made an effort to notice negative thoughts about myself and reframe them into kinder messages. For example, if I caught myself thinking, “I’m so stupid for making that mistake,” I’d replace it with something like, “Everyone makes mistakes. I’m still learning and improving.”
- Challenge unrealistic expectations. Don’t demand perfection from yourself.
- Focus on your strengths and accomplishments rather than perceived weaknesses or failures.
- Speak to yourself with encouragement and praise, not harsh self-judgment.
- Picture yourself as your own best friend. How would you support and uplift a friend in your situation? Offer yourself the same compassion.
With regular practice, positive self-talk can become a habit. Be patient and give yourself time to adjust to this new way of thinking about yourself. Appreciate yourself for the effort and celebrate small wins along the way.
Changing how I talked to myself was a simple shift that made a big difference in how I saw myself. My self-concept became more balanced and forgiving. I felt happier, less anxious, and more confident in my abilities. Using positive self-talk is a powerful way to reshape your sense of self into a healthier and more empowering one. Give it a try—you deserve to be your own best friend!
8. Let go of limiting beliefs.
To reshape your self-concept, you have to let go of the beliefs that are holding you back. Our self-concepts are shaped by the experiences, messages, and feedback we receive over our lifetimes. Some of these shape our views of ourselves in empowering ways, but others can be limiting.
Identify your limiting beliefs. -Think about the negative views you hold about yourself and your abilities. For me, it was beliefs like “I’m not smart enough” or “I don’t have what it takes to succeed.” These beliefs were holding me back from pursuing new opportunities and reaching my full potential.
- Write down the limiting beliefs you want to let go of. Seeing them on paper helps you recognize how they negatively impact you.
Challenge Them – Look for evidence that contradicts your limiting beliefs. I realized that I had accomplished many difficult things and that perseverance and hard work were more important than some fixed view of intelligence.
- Ask others for examples of times when you demonstrated the qualities you doubted in yourself. Their outside perspective can be very enlightening.
Replace with empowering beliefs. – Replace the limiting beliefs with new ones that empower and motivate you. I developed beliefs like “I can achieve anything I set my mind to” and “My abilities are constantly growing.”
- Write down several new empowering beliefs and review them regularly. Repeat them to yourself, especially when self-doubt starts to creep in.
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With conscious effort, you can reshape your self-concept by letting go of limiting beliefs and replacing them with empowering ones. This opens you up to new possibilities and allows you to pursue your goals and dreams without hesitation.
9. Shift Your Mindset
To truly reshape your self-concept, you have to change your mindset. This means shifting your beliefs and assumptions about yourself to align with the person you want to become.
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10. Focus on your strengths.
It’s easy to become overly focused on your perceived weaknesses and flaws. But the truth is, each of us has unique strengths, talents, and positive qualities. I’ve started keeping a journal where I record moments when I feel especially competent or receive praise from others. Looking through it helps remind me of the abilities and traits I have to offer. Focusing on your strengths builds self-confidence from the inside out.
11. Practice Self-Love.
Be kind to yourself. Learn to accept yourself as you are instead of judging yourself for perceived mistakes or imperfections. I try to comfort myself with the same compassion I’d show a friend. Speaking to yourself with encouragement and understanding helps cultivate a positive self-concept. You deserve to treat yourself well.
Developing a growth mindset, focusing on your strengths, and practicing self-compassion are powerful ways to transform your self-concept into one that honors your true worth.
12. Celebrate your wins.
Looking back on challenges you’ve overcome and goals you’ve achieved can help build your confidence from the inside out. Make a list of your proudest moments and biggest wins, no matter how small they seem. Read over this list when you’re feeling self-doubt. Your past victories are proof of your abilities and resilience.
13. Develop your talents.
We all have natural talents and skills that make us uniquely ourselves. Pursue hobbies and activities that you excel at and that spark your creativity. Engage in opportunities to showcase your talents, whether through a blog, YouTube channel, or local community event. Make the most of what you’re good at; it will boost your self-worth in a genuine way.
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14. Help others
Use your strengths to make a positive difference in other people’s lives. Volunteer your time or skills for a good cause in your area. Teach a skill or hobby to others in your community. When you focus outward, you gain a sense of purpose that enhances your self-concept from within. Helping people in need also puts your own worries and self-doubts into perspective.
Discovering and developing your strengths gives you an internal compass to navigate self-concept issues. Appreciate yourself for who you are—your talents, skills, and accomplishments make you uniquely you. Focusing on what you’re good at and using it to help others is a win-win approach to building self-worth from the inside out. You have so much to offer the world, so make the most of your strengths and share them generously.
15. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others is one of the worst habits you can have when it comes to your self-concept. I used to constantly compare myself to people who seemed more successful or talented than me, and it only made me feel inadequate and resentful.
Stop stalking social media. – Social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Stop stalking people on Instagram and Facebook and comparing their curated lives to your behind-the-scenes. Their posts only show a tiny, polished fraction of their actual lives.
Focus on your own journey. – The only person you should compare yourself to is your past self. See how far you’ve come, and celebrate your own progress and milestones. Your journey is uniquely yours.
Be inspired; don’t compare.
Instead of comparing yourself to others in a negative way, look to people you admire for inspiration and motivation. But remember that they have likely struggled and failed at some point too.
16. You Have Your Own Strengths
Rather than coveting what others are good at, focus on developing your own natural talents, skills, and strengths. Play to your strengths instead of trying to be someone you’re not.
Comparing yourself to others in an unhealthy way is a habit, and habits can be broken. Make the choice each day to focus on your own journey of growth and surround yourself with people who inspire rather than intimidate you. Your sense of self will become much healthier when you start valuing yourself for who you are.
17. Accept Yourself
To truly accept yourself, you have to make peace with who you are, flaws and all. This has been a struggle for me, as I’m sure it is for many people. Our society places so much emphasis on achievement, success, and perfection that it’s easy to develop an unhealthy self-concept based on unrealistic expectations.
It’s easy to become overly focused on your perceived weaknesses and flaws. But each of us has unique strengths, talents, and positive qualities as well. Try making a list of your strengths, accomplishments, values, and the qualities you like about yourself. Refer to this list when you’re feeling down on yourself. Look for opportunities each day to utilize your strengths and do things you’re good at. This helps build self-confidence from the inside out.
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18. Practice self-care
How you treat yourself each day has a significant impact on your self-concept. Make sure to practice regular self-care like exercising, eating healthy, engaging in hobbies, and pursuing new interests. Take a break when you feel stressed or overwhelmed. Do small things each day that boost your confidence and self-esteem, like wearing an outfit you love or learning a new skill. Self-care and self-confidence go hand in hand.
19. Practice self-compassion
To reshape your self-concept, practice self-compassion.
I used to be extremely self-critical. I held myself to impossibly high standards and berated myself when I didn’t meet them. Over time, I realized this was only making me feel inadequate and unhappy. Now, I try to show myself the same compassion I would show a close friend.
- I accept that I’m imperfect and make mistakes. No one is flawless, so why should I expect perfection from myself?
- I avoid harsh self-judgment. Instead of calling myself names, I try to be understanding. “I’m only human,” I remind myself.
- I nurture myself. When I’m struggling, I do small things to lift my spirits, like taking a walk outside, reading an inspiring book, or calling a friend.
- I celebrate my wins, big and small. Did I make a healthy meal choice today? Did I finish that work project I was dreading? I give myself a genuine pat on the back.
Practicing self-compassion has been life-changing. I feel so much more at peace and able to enjoy each day. My self-concept has evolved from one of inadequacy to one of worthiness. I know now that I don’t have to be perfect to be deserving of love, especially my own. If you want to reshape how you see yourself, start by being a little kinder to yourself each day. You deserve that.
20. Escape from Your Comfort Zone
To really change how you see yourself, you have to shake up your routine and habitual ways of thinking. That means stepping out of your comfort zone.
Stepping out of my comfort zone has been instrumental in changing how I see myself. It reminds me that I’m capable of more than I realize and that there are always new sides of myself to discover. The more you challenge yourself, the more your self-concept will evolve. Even small steps can lead to big changes in how you view yourself.
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1. Try new activities.
Pick up a hobby you’ve always been curious about but never tried, like rock climbing, public speaking, or ballroom dancing. Learning a new skill challenges, you and exposes you to different sides of yourself. I started taking improve comedy classes on a whim and discovered I enjoyed being spontaneous in front of others.
2. Travel somewhere different.
Visit a new place, especially one with a culture unlike your own. Traveling abroad expands your mind and exposes you to different ways of living. On a trip to Peru, I stayed with a local family in the Sacred Valley. Experiencing their daily life and traditions gave me a new appreciation for community and simplicity.
3. Meet new people.
Strike up a conversation with someone outside your normal social circle. Join a local meetup group to connect with people who share an interest or hobby. Making new friends and social connections helps you see yourself through others’ eyes and gain valuable new perspectives.
21. Expand Your Social Circle
To reshape your self-concept, expanding your social circle is key. The people you surround yourself with have a huge influence on how you see yourself.
1. Make new connections.
I started reaching out to old friends I had lost touch with and made an effort to meet new people with similar interests. I joined a local hiking group and a book club to find like-minded people. Putting myself in new situations where I could connect with others helped me discover new aspects of my personality and break out of my usual routine.
2. Nurture existing relationships.
I also worked on strengthening my current friendships by being more engaged and vulnerable. I made time for phone calls instead of just texting and was open to talking about my insecurities and desires for personal growth. My close friends were supportive and helped reinforce the changes I wanted to make. Their positive feedback and encouragement were instrumental in reshaping how I saw myself.
22. Spend less time with negative influences.
At the same time, I distanced myself from people who brought me down or encouraged unhealthy behavior. Their negativity and drama were holding me back from progressing. Don’t feel bad about stepping away from these relationships. You need to put your own needs first to make real change.
Expanding my social circle and surrounding myself with positive people who share my values has been key to reshaping my self-concept. Their support and the new experiences we share continue to help me discover and nurture the person I want to become. Making new connections and strengthening existing relationships with like-minded people can help you do the same.
23. Reflect on Your Successes
To reshape your self-concept, it’s important to reflect on your past successes and accomplishments. Looking at what you’ve achieved in the past reminds you of your abilities and potential.
1. Review your wins.
Go through old photos, journals, work files, or whatever records you have from the past few years. As I look through my archives, I’m often surprised by wins I’ve forgotten. Those times I overcame obstacles, learned new skills, helped others, or achieved goals I’m proud of Big or small, note any successes that made you feel good about yourself.
- Graduating from college after struggling to balance work and classes.
- Training for and completing my first 5K race.
- Getting a promotion at my job after taking on more responsibility.
- I am learning to cook healthy meals for my family.
2. Celebrate your strengths.
Reviewing my successes helps me identify strengths I can build on. Maybe I’m determined, a fast learner, good with people, or able to juggle many responsibilities. Recognize your strengths and the qualities that have enabled your wins. Be proud of them! They’re a key part of who you are and what you can achieve.
Reflecting on your past successes is a simple exercise but so powerful for reshaping how you see yourself. You’ll gain an appreciation for your abilities, determination, and resilience. You’ve achieved more than you realize, and you have what it takes for future wins. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, not your flaws or failures. Your self-concept will start to shift as a result.
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24. Set small, achievable goals.
To change your self-concept, start by setting small, achievable goals. Don’t try to overhaul your entire sense of self at once—that will only lead to feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
Focus on one area at a time. – Pick one aspect of yourself you want to improve, like becoming more confident in social situations or developing better work habits. Set a concrete goal, like starting one conversation with a stranger each week or creating a routine to tackle your most important work task each day. Start small and build up from there.
Achieving these little goals will give you a sense of progress and motivation to keep going. And each success will strengthen your belief in yourself and your ability to change. Before you know it, these small wins will add up to big changes in how you see yourself.
Some other tips for setting effective small goals:
- Make them specific and measurable. “Do better at work” is too vague. “Finish one extra work task each day” is better.
- Start with your priorities. Focus on the areas of your self-concept you most want to improve.
- Write them down. This makes them more concrete and helps keep you accountable. Review and update your goals regularly.
- Celebrate your wins. Give yourself rewards along the way to stay motivated. You deserve it!
- Learn from your failures. Don’t beat yourself up over slip-ups. See them as opportunities to try a different approach next time.
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With time and practice, these small goals will become second nature. And your self-concept will evolve into one that is more confident, capable, and aligned with the person you aspire to be. But remember to keep setting new goals and continuing to strengthen your belief in yourself each and every day.
Final Thought
Remember, your self-concept is malleable and within your control. With conscious effort and practice, you can reframe your beliefs and adopt a healthier, more empowering narrative about who you are. Start small by choosing one area to focus on, setting a specific and achievable goal, and taking action.
Don’t get discouraged if it feels unnatural at first. Habits of thought, like any habit, take time to change. But stay committed to the process. You owe it to yourself to let go of outdated stories and see yourself as the capable, multidimensional, and ever-evolving person you truly are. You’ve got this! Now go out there and be your best self.
References
- The Effect of Changes in Physical Self-Concept through Participation in Exercise on Changes in Self-Esteem and Mental Well-Being by Inwoo Kim1 and Jihoon Ahn2,* , Luciana Zaccagni, Academic Editor and Emanuela Guldi-Russo, Academic Editor
- The self-concept by Robert B. Burns & Clifford B. Dobso Introductory Psychology, published in Springer Link
- Thine Own Self: True Self-Concept Accessibility and Meaning in Life by Rebecca J. Schlegel, Joshua A. Hicks, Jamie Arndt, and Laura A. King ( J Pers Soc Psychol. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2016 Jan 15. Published in final edited form as:J Pers Soc Psychol. 2009 Feb; 96(2): 473–490.)
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