Listen up folks, it’s time for a heart to heart about forgiving yourself. We’ve all been there—done something we regret or can’t let go of. But holding onto guilt doesn’t help anyone, especially you! So grab a comfy seat and get ready to soak in some much-needed self-forgiveness.

In this post, we’ll chat about 15 everyday things you really should let yourself off the hook for. Life is too short for endless guilt trips, my friends. The past is called the past for a reason. Learn to be kind to yourself so you can move forward lighter and happier. Forgiveness isn’t about condoning mistakes; it’s about valuing your humanity. You deserve to make peace with yourself.

So let’s dive in and unpack why you should give yourself grace for these 15 common missteps. You’ll feel like a weight has lifted, I promise. Now take a deep breath and get ready to truly forgive yourself. You’ve got this!

Why Self-Forgiveness Matters

Self-forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It allows you to accept your imperfections and mistakes, learn from them, and then release the negative feelings associated with them. Without self-forgiveness, you can become trapped in a cycle of regret, anger, and shame.

Let Go of Past Mistakes: Everyone makes mistakes, big and small, but holding onto them and constantly replaying them in your mind only makes you feel bad about yourself. Forgive yourself for things you did that you now regret and for choices that didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Only then can you break free of the past and redirect your energy to the present and future.

Learn and Grow: The ability to forgive yourself is essential for personal growth. When you forgive yourself for mistakes and imperfections, you can look at them objectively and see what you can learn from them. Then use that knowledge to make better choices going forward. If you don’t forgive yourself, you risk being paralyzed by fear of repeating the same mistakes.

Take Care of Yourself: Lack of self-forgiveness can manifest in negative ways like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and health issues. Forgiving yourself is an act of self-care that allows you to resolve painful emotions and make peace with yourself. This inner calm and balance will positively impact both your mental and physical well-being.

Forgiving yourself is a gift you give yourself. It allows you to make the most of your life right now instead of wasting time and energy on past regrets. Practice self-compassion and remember that every single person makes mistakes and has things they wish they’d done differently.

You are only human; now forgive yourself!

Things to Forgive Yourself for

Forgive yourself for the stumbles along the way, the detours that took you off course. Let go of missed opportunities and forgotten dreams. Release the grip of self-blame for choices made with the best intentions at the time. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, because that’s the beauty of the human experience – the chance to learn, grow, and become the best version of yourself. It’s time to shed the weight of past regrets and embrace the exciting possibilities that lie ahead.

1. Feeling Overwhelmed

Feeling Overwhelmed
Feeling Overwhelmed

Ever have those days where you feel like you’re drowning in responsibilities? Maybe you’ve got a work project with an impossible deadline, your sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, and you have no idea what you’re making for dinner. In those moments, it’s easy to be hard on yourself for not having it all together.

Give yourself grace. The truth is, feeling overwhelmed is a normal human experience. No one can do it all, so take a deep breath and give yourself grace. Prioritize what really matters, and let the little things slide. Ask for help if you need it; your friends and family will understand.

One thing at a time. When life feels chaotic, focus on one thing at a time. Make a list to organize your thoughts and break big tasks into smaller steps. Checking things off as you go will help you feel more in control and less frazzled. Start with something easy like cleaning up or prepping a meal to build momentum.

Take a timeout. It’s also important to recharge when you feel burnt out. Take a quick walk, do some light exercise, read a book, or call a friend. A little self-care will help you feel refreshed so you can dive back in with a new perspective. Youll realize the situation isn’t as dire as it seems and that you absolutely have the ability to work through whatever challenges come your way.

Feeling overwhelmed is a message from your body that you need to slow down and practice more self-compassion. Forgive yourself for being human and remember that this too shall pass. With time and practice, you’ll get better at managing stress and avoiding burnout. But when those chaotic moments strike, give yourself the grace to stumble—you deserve it.

2. Forgive Yourself for Not Being Perfect

Listen, you’re human and inherently imperfect. So forgive yourself for not always being the ideal person you wish to be. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations Chances are, you hold yourself to incredibly high standards that are nearly impossible to achieve. You expect to have the perfect body, career, relationship, and life. But perfection is unrealistic and unattainable. Learn to accept yourself as you are, flaws and all. Be kind to yourself and avoid harsh self-criticism.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up Over Mistakes and Failures Everyone stumbles and falls from time to time. When you make a mistake or experience a failure or setback, avoid the tendency to be overly self-critical. Don’t call yourself names or make overly harsh judgments about your self-worth. Forgive yourself for being imperfect and human. Look at your mistakes and failures as learning opportunities, then pick yourself back up and try again.

Practice Self-Compassion. Rather than being overly self-critical, practice self-compassion. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and empathy you would show a close friend. When you make a mistake or fail in some way, remind yourself that everyone experiences these kinds of setbacks. Avoid catastrophizing and making a bigger deal out of the situation than is necessary. Be gentle with yourself, and offer yourself comfort and support. Self-compassion is the antidote to perfectionism.

The bottom line is that you’re not perfect, and that’s okay. Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are, flaws included, instead of beating yourself up over your imperfections and perceived shortcomings. Forgive yourself for being human, and show yourself the same compassion you so readily offer to others. Your worth isn’t defined by what you achieve or how close you come to some unrealistic ideal. You are enough, just as you are.

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3. Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes and Failures

Everyone makes mistakes and experiences failures in life. The healthiest thing you can do is accept them and forgive yourself. harboring guilt and regret will only make you miserable in the long run. Let the past stay in the past.

Accept that perfection is impossible. You’re human-you’re going to mess up sometimes. No one is perfect, so stop holding yourself to an impossible standard. Learn from your mistakes and failures instead of beating yourself up over them. Ask yourself what you can improve for next time, then move on with confidence in the lessons you’ve learned.

Don’t dwell on what you can’t change. What’s done is done. All the regret and guilt in the world won’t change the past; it will only ruin your present and future. While it’s important to learn from your mistakes, dwelling on them accomplishes nothing. Make amends if needed, then make the choice to forgive yourself and refocus your energy on the present.

Be kind to yourself. You deserve compassion, especially from yourself. Speak to yourself with encouragement and praise, not harsh self-criticism. Everyone fails and makes poor decisions at some point. Give yourself the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a close friend in your position. Learn self- forgiveness it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

Look at the big picture. In the grand scheme of your life, your mistakes and failures make up only a tiny portion of who you are and what you’re capable of achieving. Don’t let a few bumps in the road convince you that you’re not good enough. You have so much wonderful potential ahead of you if you can move past the barriers of self-judgment and forgive your own imperfections. Focus on all the good in yourself instead of beating yourself up over minor shortcomings. You’ve got this!

Forgiving yourself is a journey, not a destination. Be gentle with yourself, learn from your mistakes, and work on self-acceptance each and every day. You deserve to be happy; don’t let regret and guilt hold you back from living your best life. Let the past go, embrace who you are, and look forward to a bright future.

4. Forgive Yourself for Putting Your Needs First Sometimes

Forgive Yourself for Putting Your Needs First Sometimes
Forgive Yourself for Putting Your Needs First Sometimes

Life moves fast and it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of responsibilities, commitments and the needs of others. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure to forgive yourself for those times when you have to put your own needs first to recharge and renew your energy.

Take That Mental Health Day. Feeling overwhelmed, anxious or just generally burned out? Don’t feel guilty about taking a personal day to rest and recuperate. Your mental health and well-being should be a top priority. Turn off your phone, binge-watch your favorite TV show, or pick up that hobby you never have time for. You’ll return to work, or your routine will be rejuvenated and re-focused.

Say No Without Explanation. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you can’t take on another commitment or responsibility. Learn to say “no” with confidence and without remorse. Whether it’s helping a co-worker on a project when you have your own work to do or volunteering to organize another school event when your schedule is already packed, you must set boundaries. Put your needs first and don’t feel bad about it.

Make Self-Care a Habit. Develop a regular routine of self-care activities like exercising, meditating, spending time with loved ones or pursuing hobbies and passions. When self-care becomes a habit, you’ll find yourself with more energy, increased productivity and an overall improved sense of wellbeing. You’ll handle stress and challenges with more patience, resilience and grace. Most importantly, you’ll avoid feelings of burnout, resentment or being stretched too thin.

Putting your needs first is not selfish, it’s necessary for your health, happiness and ability to care for others. Make self-care a priority and forgive yourself for those times when you have to say “no” or take a step back to recharge. Your needs matter too.

5. Forgive Yourself for Outgrowing Relationships

As you go through life, you change and evolve as a person. Your interests, values, and priorities shift- and often, your relationships change too. It’s natural to outgrow certain friendships and connections along the way. Rather than feeling guilty, forgive yourself for moving on from people who no longer resonate with the person you’ve become.

Old Friends Who Don’t “Get” You Anymore. Friends you’ve known for years may struggle to accept the new you, especially if you’ve changed in significant ways. While it’s sad to drift apart, don’t waste energy trying to revive a friendship that’s run its course. Wish them well, and make space for relationships that nourish the person you are now.

Toxic Relationships. Some relationships are unhealthy from the start, and leaving them behind is self-care. Don’t feel obligated to stay connected to people who constantly criticize you, take advantage of your kindness, or bring more negativity than joy into your life. Forgive yourself for not realizing their toxicity sooner, learn from your experience, and commit to healthier relationships going forward.

Exes and past romantic partners. Breaking up is hard enough without lingering feelings of guilt over ending a relationship that wasn’t meant to last. While the memory of good times you shared may still tug at your heartstrings, remember why you chose to move on. Forgive yourself for the hurt you caused, as well as the hurt you felt, and embrace the freedom to find a more compatible partner when the time is right.

Outgrowing relationships, in all their forms, is a natural and often necessary part of personal growth. Rather than judging yourself for connections lost along the way, practice self-forgiveness and gratitude for the relationships currently enriching your life. The people who truly matter will celebrate the person you are becoming. Let go of the rest without regret.

6. Forgive Yourself for Needing Time to Heal

The healing process takes time. Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to move on from painful experiences quickly. Whether you’re recovering from a breakup, the loss of a loved one, or any other emotionally difficult situation, be gentle with yourself.

It’s Okay to Feel Sad. Allow yourself to fully experience the sadness and grief. Cry when you need to, talk to others about how you’re feeling, and express your emotions. Bottling them up will only make the healing process longer. Feeling sad is a normal human emotion, so try not to judge yourself for it.

Healing is personal. Everyone moves on from hurt and pain at their own pace. Don’t compare yourself to others or let anyone tell you to “just get over it.” Take the time you need, whether that’s weeks, months or even years. Your healing journey is deeply personal, so move forward in a way that feels right for you.

Take Care of Yourself. Make self-care a priority right now. Exercise, eat healthy meals, get enough sleep, and engage in relaxing activities like yoga or meditation. Taking good care of yourself will help boost your mood and ease distressing emotions. Spending time with supportive loved ones can also help lift your spirits. The road to healing often has many ups and downs. Learn to be patient with yourself throughout the process.

While it may take time, focusing on self-care, allowing yourself to feel sad, and forgiving yourself for not rushing the journey will help you start to heal. In time, the pain will become easier to bear, though you may always miss the person or situation you lost. But that’s okay – healing doesn’t mean forgetting, it means learning to live with grief in a healthy way.

7. Forgive Yourself for Let Go of Guilt Over Things You Can’t Control

It’s only human to feel guilty over things that go wrong in our lives, especially when they affect others. But carrying around guilt for situations that were outside of your control will only weigh you down and sabotage your peace of mind. Learn to release the guilt and forgive yourself for what you couldn’t influence or change.

You can’t control how other people act or react. Their emotions, responses, and behaviors are not within your power. Don’t waste energy feeling guilty over someone else’s issues or hang-ups. You did the best you could with the circumstances you were in.

Likewise, forgive yourself for events that were due to circumstances outside of anyone’s control. Natural disasters, accidents, health issues, job losses-these types of unforeseen and unpreventable events are tragic but not your fault. You had no way of stopping them or changing the outcome.

Even when you make mistakes or errors in judgment, you can only operate based on the information and awareness you had at the time. You’re not perfect; you’re human. Learn from your mistakes, but do not cling to feelings of guilt or regret over them. Those negative emotions will not undo the past and will only steal joy from your present and future.

The bottom line is that you cannot control everything that happens in life or how other people choose to respond to events. Forgive yourself for the things you cannot influence and make peace with the past. Release any guilt over situations where you did your best but could not determine the outcome. Your mental health and happiness depend on it. Let go of what you can’t control and choose to focus on living well right now.

8. Forgive Yourself for Not Meeting Unrealistic Expectations

Forgive Yourself for Not Meeting Unrealistic Expectations
Forgive Yourself for Not Meeting Unrealistic Expectations

We all have an idealized version of who we want to be, and sometimes the gap between that and our reality can seem vast. It’s easy to be hard on yourself for all the ways you don’t measure up to your own unrealistic expectations.

The truth is, you’re only human. No one is perfect-we all have moments of weakness, make poor choices, mess up, and fall short of our ideals. The expectations you have for yourself may be admirable, but if they’re unrealistic they will only lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure.

Learn to accept yourself as you are instead of judging yourself for who you’re not. You’re doing the best you can with the circumstances in your life. Your imperfections and struggles don’t make you unworthy or undeserving of love; they make you human.

The truth is, you are imperfectly perfect. Your flaws and weaknesses don’t define you-they’re just part of the human experience. Learn to accept all parts of yourself with compassion and forgive yourself for being human. Your worth isn’t defined by unrealistic expectations. You are enough, just as you are.

9. Forgive Yourself for Wasting Time

Dwelling on the past and beating yourself up over perceived wasted time will only make you feel worse. Instead, focus your energy on the present moment. You cannot change what has already happened, but you can move forward in a more mindful and purposeful way. Forgive yourself and resolve to use time more wisely going forward. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Understand that wasting some time is part of being human. We all have moments of procrastination, distraction and unproductivity. Try to let go of unreasonable expectations of constantly being productive.

Resolve to be more mindful of how you spend your time each day. Make a plan for your time and set priorities for what truly matters most. Then do your best to stick to the plan.

Start small. Make one simple change today that can help you use your time a little better. Over time, these small changes will compound into more significant improvements.

Remember that comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t judge yourself based on how others seem to use their time. Focus on progress relative to where you started.

Be gentle with yourself. If you slip up one day, resolve to make better choices the next. Self-criticism will only demotivate you. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward.

Remember that all experiences have value. Even time spent relaxing or on unimportant tasks can provide needed restoration or joy that fuels you for more meaningful activities later.

10. Forgive Yourself for not Knowing Your Enemy

Focusing on past mistakes will only bring you down. Forgive yourself for not knowing your enemy sooner and move forward with wisdom and compassion for yourself. You did the best you could with the knowledge and experience you had at the time. Now, you have an opportunity to learn from your perceived failings and make different choices going forward.

When you forgive yourself for past mistakes and shortcomings, you free yourself up to move forward with hope and purpose. Dwelling on what you feel you should have known takes energy away from what you can do now with the knowledge you have.

So forgive yourself. You are not defined by your past failures or perceived lack of knowledge. You are human, doing the best you can at any given moment. Give yourself credit for that. Then resolve to keep learning, growing and making wiser choices, with self-compassion along the way.

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11. Forgive Yourself for Feeling Life as Meaningless

Feeling that life is meaningless at times is common and normal. Forgiving yourself can help you move past these feelings. Focusing on meaning can help give your life more purpose and motivation. Forgiving yourself allows you to move towards finding meaning. Negative thoughts can be hard to control. Forgiving yourself for having them can reduce guilt and shame.

Feeling life is meaningless could indicate depression or other mental health issues that require professional help.These feelings could stem from unresolved personal issues that may need to be addressed.Allowing these thoughts to persist for too long could impact your motivation and productivity in a negative way.

Overall, while seeking professional help if needed, forgiving yourself for having these thoughts is a good first step towards finding meaning and purpose in life again. Focus on self-compassion, look for small sources of joy and meaning, and consider ways to make positive changes one step at a time.

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12. Forgive Yourself for Being Toxic

Forgive Yourself for Being Toxic
Forgive Yourself for Being Toxic

Being toxic to others is never okay, but recognizing toxic behaviors and forgiving yourself is the first step to changing for the better. Here are some things to keep in mind:

You were doing the best you could with the tools you had at the time. Toxic behaviors often stem from pain, anxiety or a lack of emotional regulation skills.

You now have an opportunity to develop healthier coping mechanisms and communication styles. Look for resources on active listening, assertive communication, managing anxiety and regulating emotions. Toxic behaviors rarely come from a place of malice; they are often misguided attempts to meet needs or deal with uncomfortable feelings.

Have compassion for your past self.

Apologize to those you hurt, but do not expect forgiveness. Focus on making amends through changed behavior going forward. Practice self-forgiveness daily. Remind yourself that one mistake does not define you. You are not a toxic person, you just struggled in that moment.

Resolve to be kinder to yourself and others. Seek out mentors and role models who demonstrate healthy behaviors you want to emulate.With time and effort, you can break the cycle of toxicity. Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward in a positive direction.

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13. Forgive Yourself for Hurting Someone

No matter how unintentional, hurting someone can leave deep wounds and cause lasting damage to relationships. While you cannot undo the past, you can take steps to forgive yourself and move forward in a healthier way.

  •  Recognize your role. Take ownership of your hurtful actions without making excuses. Say to yourself “I hurt them, even if I didn’t mean to.”
  •  Apologize genuinely. Give a sincere apology with no “buts” or justifications. Explain how you understand your actions were hurtful.
  •  Make amends. If possible, make up for the harm done through changed behavior, thoughtful gestures or other atonement. Even small efforts can help the other person heal.
  •  Learn from your mistakes. Reflect on what caused you to act that way and how you could handle similar situations differently in the future. Resolve to be more mindful, patient and considerate.
  •  Show self-compassion. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and hurts others at times. You are not a bad person for one wrong action.
  •  Move on with resolve. Once you have sincerely apologized and tried to make amends, forgive yourself and resolve to act from a place of love going forward. Strive to be the best version of yourself. 

No relationship is perfect. The real test is how we learn from our mistakes, make things right and resolve to do better in the future. Forgive yourself, and resolve to act with more care, wisdom and empathy moving forward.

14. Forgive Yourself Being Unfaithful

Being unfaithful to your partner is a serious betrayal of trust that can cause deep wounds and long- lasting damage. While you cannot undo the past, there are steps you can take to forgive yourself and rebuild trust:

  •  Take responsibility. Own up to your actions without making excuses. Admit that you hurt your partner through your choices, even if you regret them now.
  •  Apologize genuinely. Give a sincere apology with no “buts” or justifications. Explain how you understand your actions were wrong and caused pain.
  •  Be transparent. Allow your partner access to your communications and whereabouts to rebuild trust. Respect their need for reassurance.
  •  Make amends through changed behavior. Prove through your everyday choices that you have truly learned from this mistake and will remain faithful going forward.
  •  Show self-compassion. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and you are more than just this one wrong action. Focus on personal growth.
  •  Give it time. Healing from infidelity takes time. Be patient with yourself and your partner through the process. Keep choosing honesty, openness and respect in your interactions.

While forgiving yourself is important, never use it as an excuse to repeat the same hurtful actions. Learn from this difficult experience, and resolve to act with greater care, integrity and faithfulness in your relationship from this point onward. Over time, through changed behavior and a renewed commitment, trust and forgiveness can grow again.

15. Forgive Yourself for Being Human

Being human means making mistakes. It means having flaws, limitations and imperfections. But it also means having the capacity for growth, change and wisdom. So when you fall short of your ideals or make errors in judgment, forgive yourself by remembering:

  • You’re a work in progress. Personal development is a lifelong journey. Making mistakes is an opportunity to learn and grow, not a reason to condemn yourself.
  • You did the best you could at the time. Consider the circumstances, knowledge and emotional state you were in. Give your past self some compassion.
  •  You have redemptive value. You are more than the sum of your mistakes. Your inherent worth remains regardless of your failures or shortcomings.
  •  You can choose a better path forward. Once you recognize an error, you have the power to make different choices next time. Commit to growing wiser and stronger through this experience.
  •  Everyone struggles at times. Imperfection is part of the human condition. You’re not alone in making mistakes.
  • Self-forgiveness is healing. Holding on to guilt or shame only hurts you. Letting it go allows you to move on with peace of mind.

The next time you feel you’ve fallen short, remember that to be human is to err. Give yourself the gift of self-forgiveness so you can continue your journey with hope, purpose and inner peace. Each day is a new chance to live more fully into who you truly want to be.

16. Forgive Yourself for Something Unforgivable

Forgive Yourself for Something Unforgivable
Forgive Yourself for Something Unforgivable

While some mistakes may seem unforgivable at the time, it’s important to remember that everyone deserves a second chance – including yourself. Here are some steps you can take to forgive yourself for something seemingly “unforgivable”:

  •  Acknowledge the mistake. Admit to yourself what happened, take responsibility, and own your role in it. Reflect on what led to the situation and what you could have done differently.
  •  Express remorse. Feel genuine regret for the hurt you caused others. Apologize sincerely to those affected, if possible. Taking accountability and showing remorse can help you forgive yourself.
  •  Make amends. Where possible, try to repair the damage through acts of service, changed behavior or other gestures. Making amends can demonstrate that you truly want to do better going forward.
  •  Focus on growth. Resolve to learn from this experience and use it as an impetus for personal development. Commit to reflecting your values more fully going forward.
  •  Practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that everyone deserves a second chance. Give yourself the same kindness and understanding you would give a friend in your situation. Forgive yourself for being human.
  •  Let go of guilt. Continually berating yourself only perpetuates negative feelings. Decide to move on, leave the past behind, and focus your energy on the present and future.

With time and effort, even seemingly “unforgivable” mistakes can be catalysts for growth and change – if you’re willing to forgive yourself and move forward with wisdom.

Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself

Forgiveness starts with you. When you forgive yourself for past mistakes or shortcomings, you’re giving yourself the gift of peace of mind and the freedom to move forward. Forgiveness is a choice you make for your own wellbeing – it has nothing to do with deserving or earning it. Here are a few reasons why forgiveness is a gift you give yourself:

  •  It lifts a burden. Holding on to guilt or self-recrimination only weighs you down. Forgiving yourself allows you to let go of that burden and find inner lightness again.
  •  It frees up mental and emotional space. Unforgiveness and guilt consume mental and emotional energy. When you forgive, you free up that space for more positive thoughts and feelings.
  • It allows you to learn and grow. You can’t move past past mistakes and grow as a person if you’re stuck in a cycle of self-condemnation. Forgiveness opens the door to personal growth and development.
  • It supports self-acceptance. True self-forgiveness means accepting yourself as a flawed yet striving human being. This acceptance is the basis for loving yourself fully.
  • It helps you live in the present. Unforgiveness keeps you stuck in the past. When you forgive yourself, you can refocus your energy on the present moment and the future you want to create.

So the next time you’re struggling with self-forgiveness, remember that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself first and foremost. Grant yourself that gift and experience the peace, freedom and inner strength that follow.

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Self-forgiveness is one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves. Holding on to guilt and shame only breeds more negative emotions and blocks our growth. To truly move forward, we must learn how to forgive our mistakes and shortcomings.

Final Thought

As you reflect on the steps toward self-forgiveness outlined above, remember that you deserve peace of mind and inner healing. Every human being makes mistakes; that is part of life’s rich journey. The real growth comes from learning how to rise up after we fall, dust ourselves off, and continue walking with wisdom, compassion and hope in our hearts.

So forgive yourself fully and freely. You deserve a second chance, a third, and a fourth. Each new dawn is a gift to try again, live fuller and love deeper. Let go of guilt, rise above shame, and move forward into joy.

References

  • The Psychological Meaning of Self-Forgiveness in a Collectivist Context and the Measure Development by Hsin-Ping Hsu1 Published online 2021 Dec 16. doi: 10.2147/PRBM.S336900
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